Dr. Thema
@drthema
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Minister, psychologist, clinical psychology bestselling author. Homecoming Podcast Host, 2023 President @APA . Tweets reflect my views only. She/her.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined April 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
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I hope you find someone who speaks your language so you don't have to spend a lifetime translating your spirit.
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You broke the cycle. Don’t let boredom or loneliness send you back.
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Some delays are protection.
Leave it alone.
Force nothing. Live in flow.
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Trauma teaches you to expect and accept the bare minimum.
In this new season, may you adjust your standards and learn to receive the maximum.
You are worthy. You are enough. You deserve overflow.
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A history of trauma can give you a high tolerance for emotional pain. Just because you can take it doesn't mean you have to.
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Many assume your gentleness must have come from an easy life. They don’t know some learn to walk light in the fire.
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Congratulations on breaking out of that dysfunctional pattern. Three years ago, you wouldn't have made the decisions you're making now. Celebrate your growth.
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Depression is a liar. Anxiety is too.
Try not to believe the stories they create about you.
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Aren’t you glad you stopped waiting for them to choose you?
Aren’t you glad you chose yourself?
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Exhale. It’s not personal.
Many people are depleted and have nothing left to give. Let it be so.
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Forgive yourself for the choices your insecurity made. Heal and shift. Now you know.
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Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode, afraid to plant roots, to plan for your future, to trust, to let joy in.
It is a blessing to shift from surviving to thriving. It is not simple but there is more than survival.
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When the house is on fire, we don’t tell people to watch their tone as they yell for help.
Be mindful of trying to dictate how people respond to trauma.
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Trauma has taught you to always be prepared to exit. May this be the season you give yourself the gift of being present.
Take a breath. Stay awhile…
Lay down the armor. Unpack the baggage. Rest.
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May you break the pattern. May you recognize it even when it shows up in a new package.
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Forgive yourself for the times you continued to entertain spaces you wish you had exited.
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Doing nothing is doing something.
I’m glad you’re resting, restoring, recovering, day dreaming, decluttering your mind, practicing stillness, breathing, reconnecting with yourself, and taking sacred pause.
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Stress and trauma can disconnect you from yourself. It’s beautiful to see you making your way back home.
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When they reveal themselves, give thanks. Now you know who they are.
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I hope you experience a love that inspires dancing instead of walking on eggshells. I hope you are able to breathe deeply in their presence instead of holding your breath.
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Trauma may have taught you how to live in warrior mode.
In healing, may you learn when and how to put down the armor and breathe.
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Stop giving maximum access to people who give minimum respect.
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Aren’t you glad you left that toxic job?
May you never again have to sacrifice your mental health for a paycheck.
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I hope you have the freedom and courage to exit spaces and places that break your heart and spirit.
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A history of trauma can leave you feeling you need to constantly explain, defend, or justify yourself even to strangers. Breathe. You are enough.
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I hope you stand in the discomfort of growth instead of retreating to what you know is not good for you.
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Stop chasing. You’re enough.
Stop over explaining. You’ve said enough.
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Being trauma aware in your friendships includes extending grace and compassion for the diminished capacity of those who are overwhelmed even when they don’t say it or look like it.
Just a reminder that we are still in a pandemic and people have invisible loads.
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Remember when your heart was broken. Appetite gone. Sleep gone. Eyes vacant.
Look at you now. It’s so good to see you outlasted that season.
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Even if you hesitated, broke out in a sweat, stumbled over your words, celebrate that you spoke up for yourself. It gets easier.
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Healing from trauma is not an intellectual exercise. You cannot simply think your way out of it. Your healing requires your full participation: spirit, heart, mind, and body.
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I hope you choose people and spaces that don’t require you to leave yourself behind.
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Being a trauma survivor means you’re often anticipating ten steps ahead and planning how to survive multiple possibilities. I hope you get to rest soon. I hope you’re safe and can feel safe enough to breathe …
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Anxiety will have you so worried about a potential drought in the future that you miss out on enjoying the harvest of today.
I hope you can breathe and take space to be present.
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As you heal and grow, it becomes clear that much of the baggage you’re carrying was never yours.
May this be the season, you learn to put it down.
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Anxiety can cause you to run from a blessing.
In this season, may you learn to breathe, slow down, and receive.
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Let them call you picky.
Remain selective.
You know what happens when you lower your standards - nothing good.
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Start prioritizing your mental health instead of adjusting to toxic spaces.
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Responding to level two issues with level ten intensity is a trauma response.
Breathe. You’re safe.
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Instead of being mad at yourself for how long you slept on your possibility, appreciate that you woke up. You made it.
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May you choose to accept the truth even when it doesn’t align with what you wanted to see.
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Trauma teaches you to hide your wings, to apologize for who you are, to seek to please those who want to dismantle you. Healing empowers you to reject that programming and to unlearn those lessons.
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Manipulators will try to convince you to be grateful for crumbs.
Don’t be deceived. Remember who you are.
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As you outgrow survival mode, you begin to dream again. You begin to risk believing more is possible for your life.
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Everything will shift when you realize you have options.
Stop knocking on that one door like it’s the only entrance to a good life.
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May you experience the honey of being treated well so you easily recognize and spit out the bitterness of disrespect.
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Those who learned to survive on crumbs may feel anxious when a feast arrives.
Breathe. You’re worthy.
You can take your seat at the table instead of standing at the door in survival mode.
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You can love yourself and still feel lonely. Do not allow people to shame you about your desire for connection.
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Some people benefited from your years of fear and insecurity.
They’re about to see that season is over.
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Some people will not be happy that you’re healing. They benefited from your brokenness. Continue to heal anyway.
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Emotional maturity will keep you from needing to have the last word. Be at peace.
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Reduce your stress. Stop saying yes to things you don’t have the time or energy to do.
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Protect your energy. If you're a giver, learn to receive. Reposition yourself so you're not only in spaces that require you to pour.
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May the givers receive.
May the busy rest.
May the ignored be seen.
May we each feel the healing gift of love.
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As you heal, you become less willing to dilute yourself. You are more likely to show up with the fullness of who you are.
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Truth telling will cost you.
Tell it anyway.
Your silence costs you more.
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Be mindful. When you’ve been in a desert, a cup of water can look like an ocean.
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Unhealthy relationships of the past were rooted in how much you could endure, how much you would forgive, and how much you could overlook being dishonored.
May your new season bless you, honor you, and enrich you.
May your new season be life giving. That is love.
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Instead of staying stuck in shame for the decisions you made when you didn’t feel worthy, give thanks that you survived and outlasted that season.
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Trauma often creates feelings of unworthiness which can drive an unending pursuit of fulfillment. I hope you find your way to stillness. You are enough.
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Your gift is simply your presence. You don’t have to pretend or perform. Just be yourself.
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Your authenticity will keep more doors open than performance and lies.
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Our insecurities are revealed in our choices. At times we pick ponds not realizing we are equipped for oceans.
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Insecurity will have you sitting on a branch for years afraid to extend your wings.
I hope you heal and take flight.
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When relationships leave you shattered and unsure of yourself that’s not love.
May you experience the kind of relationship that helps you to breathe, expand, grow, and bloom. You deserve it.
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I’m glad you stopped waiting to be chosen and began living, creating, manifesting.
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After all of the drama, trauma, and heartbreak, you keep showing up for life.
I’m glad you haven’t given up.
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I hope you do not clip your wings trying to get a caterpillar to notice you.
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Instead of picking the best out of terrible options, I hope you have the courage to pick none of the above.
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Resist the pull to be your body’s critic. Be your body’s friend, cheerleader, and advocate.
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Sometimes it’s not that a person is “bad” or “terrible” but that we have cast them for a role in our lives that they are not equipped to play.
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Give yourself grace when you’re in the season between awakening to your new life and clinging to the old dream.
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Don’t betray yourself by pretending shallow waters are the ocean your soul requires.
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Pay attention to how you feel in their presence. Your spirit is speaking.
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When you arrive in a new space, know that the moments before this moment prepared you. You are worthy.
Do not shrink, hide, dilute, or apologize for your presence. Your voice is needed in that space. Be all that you are.
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Broken hearts can love again. Delayed dreams can live again.
Anxious minds can find peace again.
Some endings are beginnings.
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You’re not late. You’re on time. The process was preparation.
Your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s and often will not match the timeline you created.
Less shame and judgment. More breath, compassion, and acceptance. Now you’re ready.
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If stress, trauma, and betrayal have made you an expert in cutting people off and shutting down,
may this next season give you safety and support to connect, cultivate, breathe, grieve, and eventually laugh.
You deserve all of that. May your heart receive it.
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You’re not responsible for people’s assumptions, projections, fantasies about who you are “supposed” to be.
Get free. Let them work that out within themselves. It has nothing to do with who you actually are.
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Release the shame you carry for the situations you entertained when your spirit was asleep and your heart was broken.
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A trauma mindset will convince you that everything will collapse if you’re still, if you rest, or if you do something just for you.
It’s not true. Let some ease into your day, into your breath, into your life.
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Because you are kind, people assume you don’t know.
You know.
Because you are gracious, they assume you forgot.
You remember.
Wisdom is not needing to broadcast what you know. Adjust your sails and keep it moving.
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To trauma survivors:
May you be treated so well it makes you uncomfortable.
May you experience a love so authentic it disrupts every lie the mistreatment wrote on your heart.
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I hope your insecurity doesn’t cause you to re-open doors that are best left closed. Remember what you know.
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When love shows up, don’t let yesterday’s wounds stop you from receiving it.
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Discernment helps you to see beyond what is said.
Wisdom reminds you that you don’t have to announce everything you see.
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May you exit circles where you feel the need to dilute, shrink, or hide. May your friendships and relationships expand you and cause you to shine.
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Forgive yourself for the seasons you left yourself behind in pursuit of someone else’s approval or attention.
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Refuse to participate in another one sided “friendship” or relationship. Give and receive.
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May impatience not cause you to run to crumbs before your feast arrives.
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May you never again deceive yourself into believing a lake is an ocean.
No more settling.
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Self sabotage can cause you to walk away from fresh springs and run to polluted waters.
May we no longer be comfortable with dysfunction.
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You will not be everyone’s cup of tea. Don’t change your flavor.
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