Dr. Julie Gurner
@drgurner
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Executive Performance Coach. Doc of Psych. Compared to Wendy Rhoades of Billions via WSJ. "Crown Yourself." Newsletter: Inquiries: ⬇
Pennsylvania/NYC
Joined January 2010
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I've been doing this work for over a decade...
I've sat with Entrepreneurs, Athletes, Execs, in some of the top ventures in the world.
They carry mindsets and ways of going about work/life that few have access to.
So I'm dropping a Newsletter. 1/
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Ambitious people have two options:
1. Marry a supportive partner, who knows and understands exactly what they're signing up for.
2. Do not get married.
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@TrungTPhan
@TurnerNovak
If I ever go missing, I hope someone hires this guy on my behalf.
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Real luxury is the ability to have a slow morning if you want it, enjoy a good conversation without rush, eat well, have good health, and a warm home.
Brand names and flashy things are nice - but they're not luxury.
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Leadership is lonely. Ambition is lonely. Building is lonely.
Even if you have a great company or great spouse, a lot of the journey is internal & you're on your own.
It's really hard to bear, and people will drop out over time.
You have to want it in your core.
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After coaching a lot of very successful people, here's an unsexy truth:
A lot of success is learning to grind when it's boring.
Staying engaged, working, and seeing it through when it's "boring" is a skill. If you expect all building to be exciting, you'll never make it.
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@WrittenByHanna
I tell people often that many actors & actresses they think are "rich" are not...this is great...and it doesn't even get into other expenses.
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After coaching a lot of very successful people, here's an unsexy truth:
A lot of success is learning to grind when it's boring.
Staying engaged, working, and seeing it through when it's "boring" is a skill. If you expect all building to be exciting, you'll never make it.
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The confidence to know you can "figure it out" is some of the toughest stuff in the world to contain.
That kind of mindset will take you almost anywhere you want to go.
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I speak to a lot of people, many who do very well in life. But what really makes people "happy?"
Here's a thread on the things that I've found seem to make people the happiest. 1/
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@prettygirll4L
Such a fantastic post. The papercuts really become the gashes, and people don't see it.
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There is a weird myth that making more money doesn't make you happier. I assure you it does.
It makes your entire life easier.
It takes away many concerns. It gives you options. No basic need is a concern, and specialized needs are addressed with choices.
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People have no idea how bad things are right now and the ripple effects.
The Silicon Valley Bank situation is catastrophic.
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Some patterns I’ve seen in people who are Outliers, incredibly high performers in their areas, specifically in tech or finance.
While these don't apply to all people or other fields, they're interesting to note & may make a few of you feel a bit more "normal." A thread. 1/
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@dailystar
It's so interesting. A more appropriate headline might be, "Remaining exactly the same while the press around her changed."
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Having a traditional job is literally the hardest way to make money.
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Rule of thumb when dealing with toxic people..
Keep all interactions:
- Positive
- Superficial
- Brief
Give them no information, no fuel, and no authenticity.
Keep the good stuff for those you trust.
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@HazelAppleyard_
Her problem was asking "am I not good enough for you?"
Corrected statement - "you're not good enough for me."
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I've been ridiculously fortunate to have talked to people doing incredible things.
Here's a thread of 9 psychological elements I see over and over again that will drive you forward....
Grab a notebook and dig in.
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You will avoid a lot of problems if you correct & set people straight... the first time.
Personally and Professionally.
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People waste a lot of time listening to podcasts, rather than taking action in their own life.
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My spouse and I have "laddered up" our whole careers.
One in building mode, the other in earning mode.
Then it flips...
Another in building mode, the other in earning mode.
Fastest way to accelerate as a couple.
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@abughazalehkat
It is estimated that over 1 in 10 homeless people in America, are Veterans.
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@notdanilu
Do all the inspections. Find someone good to do them, and follow them around with a clipboard. Every time they find a problem, ask how you fix it, who you would call and write it down.
You'll learn about your home, avoid anything massive, and have a to-do list that is tight.
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Heads Up: If you are someone who likes to make progress, and very ambitious...
Being actively held back in any way will make you very, very grumpy.
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You don't have time to be excellent at everything.
Choose 3 Things.
For me, it's business, family, and fitness.
If I'm great at those, I don't have time for a lot of things....I'm probably not the greatest friend. I'm not who you call to "hang out" on a Friday. Real Talk.
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Learning how not to feel pressure from other people, is an incredibly important skill.
If you don't learn it, it will be used against you for the rest of your life.
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@Phil_Lewis_
What's so wild about this, is that "jailing" homeless people would cost taxpayers well over $70k/year for each, and we could have just provided some assistance for less that would help them receive care, warmth, and get back into society if possible. It makes no sense.
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Burn this ReTweet into your brain, and don't ever allow it to be you.
Have the hard conversation, the awkward moments.
Act, create, and fight for the life you want.
i wish someone had told me years ago that the price you pay for being easygoing is not getting what you want
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Having the ability to wake up on a Saturday to a warm home, healthy, where you can have a leisurely morning over coffee...and just kick around your thoughts & do what you wish is a real privilege.
Worth a million dollars right there.
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No one likes to say it, but not being "on time" is disrespectful.
No one thinks you're busy, they think you're a poor time manager.
- Get yourself together.
- Be the first one in the room.
The person you're meeting with deserves your best.
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@herrmanndigital
That lady is every woman in NYC. Doesn't have time for your crap & has places to be.
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The day you realize that almost anything you want is more accessible than you think...your world will shift.
You start coming for everything people told you that you could not have.
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Uncomfortable truth: Vulnerability is only rewarded once you're seen to have made it.
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FYI: The same traits that make you fantastic in your work, can make you a beast to live with.
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Having a blue collar work ethic, crushes it in white collar jobs.
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The best revenge is the revenge no one knows about, and makes your own life better.
The successful career, despite the remarks.
The happy family, despite past dysfunctional blockers.
The money & freedom you acquire, despite others thinking it cannot be done.
Go hard.
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@CaitlinPacific
Maybe critique the group that threw her under the bus with accusations she's doing her own photoshop.
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A hard truth about learning:
When you are at your lowest is when you make the most significant changes that will alter the course of your life.
Being sick of your life, your situation, your lack of progress.
Hard times are where the largest mental transformations happen.
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The older I get, the more I just want to selectively purchase high quality items, whatever they are, and keep them forever.
Do not care about brand, etc. Quality over everything.
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If you are fortunate enough to do well in this world,
Reach & pull others up.
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I’m not a big fan of humility. Most women I know would fade into oblivion if they were more humble than they already are.
Do big things, take credit for them, and teach others to own their space too.
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I've seen people...
- Start "late"
- Start over
- Go bankrupt
- Have major setbacks and challenges
And still get to where they wanted to go.
It is never impossible to pull a win for yourself,
You just have to be bigger than anything that could stop you.
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Never make yourself small, to make yourself relatable.
- Self-deprecating humor
- Acting dumber than you are
- Minimizing what you do
The world could use a few models of people who feel comfortable in their own skin, and are okay being smart genuinely good people.
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I once had a student loan of about $120k. An accountant told us to not pay it off, bc you could invest that money and have a better return. You know, I paid it off anyway. The cognitive load was worth removing.
Lesson: Sometimes peace of mind is worth far more than money.
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Always have "immovable priorities" in your life.
For ex: coffee hour with your spouse every morning.
Your immovable priorities are things nothing interferes with, and can't be scheduled over....no matter the reason.
Have Rock Solid building blocks.
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Anyone else notice clothing quality has just continued to decline...
I have a wool sweater - 100% wool - from the Gap years ago. Now, everything feels cheap & poor quality.
I feel like a vintage wool sweater is now 10x better, than a new sweater that costs 10x more.
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If you own a home, you are so fortunate right now.
Feel badly for everyone who had the option, but followed the narrative that it was somehow "better to rent."
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Whatever it is that you truly want...
Just do yourself the favor to actually go for it.
Go all in.
Leave no regrets on the table.
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Be Unstoppable.
At the end of the day, the person who never stops is the person who figures it out.
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My favorite story about Daniel Radcliffe is that when the paparazzi was really bad - he wore the exact same outfit for 3-4 months anytime he left the house, so every photo looked like the same day.
They stopped following him around & left him alone.
Brilliant.
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Hustle culture is just toxic and misleading. I watch Netflix, have fun regularly...*and* have an incredible business.
Take time off...it makes you better, happier, and more productive.
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The real flex in life, is being able to do what you want.
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@RizomaSchool
Some of these takes are wild. The kid is 19 and the parents didn't notice that they couldn't spell or write earlier?
Either they have some developmental challenges or the parents aren't opting out. Did they emphasize studying hard? Learning? Wouldn't change for home schooling.
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There is a lot of value in just locking yourself away for a bit, and getting things done.
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A Reminder: Your dreams are more important than someone else's opinion.
Get it done.
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If everyone likes you, you're not a very interesting person. Use authenticity as a filter.
Be Yourself.
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Whatever you're doing - be "all in."
At work? Heads down, all in.
At home? Phone down, all in.
Your attention will largely determine what you get from the life you live...
So if you're doing something - whatever it is....give it all you've got.
Massive impact difference.
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Courage is so undervalued in having the life you want.
Most people make choices based on their fears or insecurities - not their ambitions & aspirations
...and that changes the course of their life.
Have no shame in how hard you're willing to go, for what you want. Lay it out.
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I've worked with people who run the range of financial success, but the biggest players often have stark similarities in personality.
Here are the 8 traits I see most frequently, in the most successful people I work with. 1/
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Create a life that your future self will thank you for.
People often ask, "What should I focus on in my 20s & 30s?"
Here are 6 things that sound easy, but if done well, set up a great life ahead. 1/
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@TheEcho13
A lot of great couples help each other to ladder up in the best interest of the "team."
People who fail to see marriage as a team sport, are missing it.
Many people have one person who helps to carry while the other builds - they *both* win if one does.
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If you can't handle loneliness, it will be very very hard to succeed with big goals.
Expect it.
It doesn't matter if you have great friends, a partner who loves you or people who support you.
Your rise or fall will be on you -
You're ultimately on your own.
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“It won’t happen overnight, but if you quit, it won’t happen at all.”
Great thought for the hard moments…when you really want something.
Keep going. It is your only shot.
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Yearly reminder: If you want a new habit to add to your arsenal, make it “speed.”
Speed of response, speed of execution, speed of decision-making.
Speed is a force.
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Honestly, so many fortunes are built out of "spite" and "proving people wrong" - I wish we talked more about it.
Don't "be at peace" with those people who didn't see your potential - be an absolute monster.
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Being a leader is no longer being the first in, or last out...
It's being the most prepared person at the table, at every table you sit at.
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The cautionary tale they don’t tell you involves:
A decent income, a job you know well, and a routine you can live with.
Be aware.
The monster that smothers potential comes wrapped in a nice, comfortable blanket.
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RIP to the opportunities you'll miss if you lack self-belief.
So many people find success because they were willing to just try and figure it out.
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Having a blue collar work ethic, crushes it in white collar jobs.
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I get asked all the time...what's the biggest hack in psychology? It's Confidence.
The impact & ripple effect is massive: There is nothing it doesn't touch professionally, or personally.
Self-belief, risk-taking, reaching higher, expecting better, and the list goes on.
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You will have to work on everything that is worth having in life.
Your career, your relationships, your health - whatever it is...
So if you don't want to work for it, be prepared to be very disappointed in the quality of everything you get.
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Whatever you think you are capable of,
You are thinking too small.
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@TrungTPhan
Fantastic song, and great performance. He was really respectful to the original sound and version - didn't overpower it, and allowed it to be a great collab on this performance.
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Reminder: If you avoid even the potential for embarrassment, mistakes, failure, humiliation, or ridicule, you are really avoiding the potential for success.
Vow to stick your neck out in 2023.
It's worth every bit of ridicule to get the win.
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Remember: There are plenty of brilliant people who do nothing with their lives, and average people who lap them.
Work ethic, passion, and initiative will take you everywhere.
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"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working."
-Pablo Picasso
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True in Sports, True in Business:
Coach to Player: "My job is to find someone better than you. Your job, is to make sure I can't."
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Creating your own opportunities,
is so much more efficient than waiting for them.
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Not sexy, but how you manage risk, is one of the most essential building blocks I've seen to real wealth.
Personal risk, financial risk, all of it.
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Every. Single. Choice. is constructing your life brick by brick.
Pay Attention.
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@Lukewearechange
@RobertJSalvador
This is the perfect representation of Government messaging.
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People underestimate the competitive advantage they carry, by just being unapologetically themselves.
You've likely gone through hell, developed some grit, are top 1% at *something,* and have a unique perspective on how to win in the world.
Use all of it.
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The pattern of an ambitious soul dying:
Stuck -> Frustrated -> Settle -> Justify it.
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@thesarahyork
There is a very big difference between what men think women want....and what they actually want, and brag about to their friends.
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@PrivatEquityGuy
The more people you know who are exceptional, the more you realize - they're successful because they do their own thing, and live life their own way.
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Ruthless time management, beats 24/7 “hustle” every day of the week.
Endless nights and fatigue brings poor decisions and tanks productivity.
High caliber strategic execution done consistently - with a clear head, focus, and energy - is really tough to beat.
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The more you divide your attention,
The more you dilute your power.
Reduce the things you focus on, to move the needle faster.
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My grandfather worked in a steel mill (crane operator)....retired around 60, full pension, full healthcare until he died (90s).
High quality of life. No work after 5pm. Well comped. Vacations. Time with Family.
Worked hard, middle class, lived well.
Now, his life is elite.
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When people make things look easy, it is often a signal of incredible talent.
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Boring is exceptional.
What makes people rise, is not exciting or sexy…
It’s an impressive internal engine that most people can't see. 1/
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One of the hardest lessons to learn when you are young & wildly ambitious, is that most people are not going to be your cheerleader.
They will give advice that is cautious, holds you back, or asks you to be different than who you are.
You are, often, on your own.
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If you are waiting for conditions to be perfect to take action, you'll be waiting the rest of your life.
Take the leap.
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Yearly reminder: If you have enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, are fairly healthy, and can pay your bills handily...you are one of the luckiest humans alive.
The rest is just details.
There is so much to be grateful for - have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
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Creating your own opportunities will always be faster than waiting for them...and that's true no matter what you do.
Creating Opportunity > Waiting for it.
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