Girls walked in when I was shopping for beer so I climbed on top of the inventory. #helpme

Old man calling you bud>>>.

As long as I don’t get a DUI on the way home the profit margins looking great on the night!

This wigga tried stealing my girl…

Girls with “be a good person” or “spread love not hate” in their ig bio always give the craziest dome.

Damn right #expand

At what age or part of life do u start being one of those dudes that cranks hog on Omegle?.

Indian dude didn’t understand the door rule at chipotle. When you’re walking out at the same time someone’s walking in the person outside always hold the door open and then goes in. This dude just stood in my way so I had to meet him in da B gap with a shoulder. #straightcleanup.

Could take over the world if I had a petite girl under 5’3 with big rack by my side.

Everything reminds me of her😓😓😓

Bad day to be at 2 x 4 and some cheap plywood

Never believed in love at first sight until now.

Got drunk and built a table with bottle openers on it Ferd #foryoupage

RT @user19283746592: Preaching to the choir here pops

Anyone notice anything?

Is this normal?

“Everybody put on camo and meet me at the parking garage”

Using her fancy shampoo on my balls.

Enjoying a work beer (Diet Coke and adderall) #basicallyabeer

My dirty pleasure

Girl I went out with got made I didn’t tip “20 percent” at her work just cause some girl had to open 13 miller lights for me? Thoughts please.