If you’re ever in NOLA and you want a great chicken sandwich, check out Willie Mae’s.

kid: dude ozzy died!. other kid: who?. kid: the guy who invented crazy train! . other kid: what’s that!? . kid: i dunno dude but he like ate a bat. …youths.

RT @muchado33: Not everyone will get it

I’m beating you at life today. 😌

His personality, duh.

crawling into bed > crawling out of bed.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but it shouldn’t take 5 business days to make a right hand turn.

Bra shopping is not fun. Bra shopping with your teenage daughters is not funner. Lawdhammercy.

I have a gargoyle.

Sophie’s choice 👇🏼.

12 to 15: you’re an organ donor?. 15: yeah. 12: what organs did you donate!?!? . 15: *looks at me* omg how do i even respond to that!?. me: *dies*.

*getting ready for work*

inconsiderate people piss me off like just remove your head from your ass.

Omg what do I do!?!?

RT @DrinkinABeer: I have come to the conclusion that I need a month long vacation.

on july 5th you buy fireworks 50% off and keep on keepin on.

friday 2.0 😎

🦅🇺🇸♥️🤍💙🇺🇸🦅.

well… between sleep and my bladder, my bladder remains undefeated. morning!.