Django Gold
@django
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comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below
New York, NY
Joined July 2011
My debut stand-up special BAG OF TRICKS is now available to watch, link in bio. An hour of laughter, tears, and invaluable moral guidance. Give it a watch, give it a like, leave a nice comment, share it with some/all of your friends. A labor of love! I hope you enjoy it.
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starting to worry that our country where the prevailing philosophy is “get that bag” has lost its spiritual way.
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a big part of socializing is saying “hell yeah” at the right times.
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apparently your fingers reflexively try to unlock your phone up to 30 seconds after you die.
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starting a new movie review series, please go over and subscribe!
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I know this isn’t the point, but I’m surprised he went cone over cup.
Trump was golfing and enjoying ice cream this weekend while search and rescue teams were in Texas looking for child flood victims
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a funny comedy gimmick would be to shoot a stand-up special where you immediately pee your pants.
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programming note: going forward, I will be referring to myself as Hoeless Joe Jackson.
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Independence Day is a reminder that America is not the project of any one person. The single most powerful word in our democracy is the word ‘We.’ ‘We The People.’ ‘We Shall Overcome.’ ‘Yes We Can.’ America is owned by no one. It belongs to all citizens. And at this moment in.
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Zohran will only win my support if he meets my rigorous demands, at which point I will change them to something else I don’t actually care about.
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Zohran used an unsavory loophole to advance his position, and business leaders are furious.
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the most useful thing a politician can do for his constituents is to make a really long speech.
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people love throwing around all this nepo baby talk, but if anything I feel like being Hermann Göring’s grandson has hurt my professional ambitions.
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[jury finds me not guilty of sex trafficking]. me: (mouthing “thank you”). [jury finds me guilty of transportation to engage in prostitution]. me: (mouthing “that’s fine, I guess”).
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