You might have ADD if

My coworkers have to put up with this every day. I'm pretty sure they go home and pray to the gods of At Will Employment every night. (If you're not a developer, that file is encrypted and intentionally not human readable.) 🤣

Last week on the podcast I talked about how a past employer had a disaster recovery plan to stay up and running if our datacenter got hit by a meteor by having a redundant DC, and every six months we swapped primary DCs to practice failover. I got challenged with "come on, how

27 years ago, The Pragmatic Programmer taught us, "it's all text, learn your tools, and learn a new programming language every year." It's 2026. It's all still true, but for a few details. It's all text. Learn your tools. And learn a new LLM every year. I don't mean toy with it

Ohhhh, god. These ARE my monkeys. This IS my circus.

Me to a CW getting his ass kicked today: "This is the shit that builds character. The problem is that getting character built sucks ass."

Him: "Yo momma so fat, weather satellites have to ask her to get out of the picture." Me: "For you, it was the worst category 5 hurricane of your life. For her, it was a Taco Tuesday." Why are we like this

Best friends are the ones who lovingly know how to take it exactly too far enough. I told my best friend today I was so sorry to hear that the (long ago) death of his mother was being investigated for possible foul play and that they were exhuming the body... and then attached an

My next infoproduct is going to be called How To Yell At An AI To Get It To Do What You Want and I'm going to make a million zillion dollars

OH: "The AI needs you." Me: "That... is a sentence that just got said..."

I love it when Claude absolutely understands the "wrong answers only" assignment

Me, trying to justify some off-spec work: "I think I might be able to slash 15 minutes off our deploys. I'd like to time box this for an hour; I'm pretty sure I will be carried out on the shoulders of a cheering throng." My Team Lead, saying yes: "And fed grapes along the way."

inb4 "But what about DEX saves!" Nah, that's WIS checks. 😜

D&D Life Lessons: If you ain't good at INT checks, you better have good CON saves.

Still boggled by people who don't get TDD. Just saw another PR where the developer read the requirement, implemented something incorrect, then wrote tests that proved his solution is internally consistent. It doesn't meet the requirements. Code has inertia. We wrap code to match

This. AI is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. Do NOT let the AI think for you. 500% more efficiency without intentionality isn't going to make your project wreckage into a soaring utopia. You're just paying for the privilege of making wreckage 500% more efficiently.

Your password must be 12 characters minimum, it must have at least one lowercase, one uppercase, one symbol, one digit, and if you can type it correctly on the first try it is automatically logged as a security incident.

I don't have a name for it, I just make a squirbling happy sound as I melt.

They say you eat with your eyes first. I'm looking at a codebase and the same thing true of vomiting

I've just seen the worst enum in my life