Danny Kelly
@dannykellywords
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106,555
Following
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Media
10,899
Statuses
46,036
Trans Europe Express, H&J on @Talksport . @vftlpodcast , award-hoovering Spurs pod via @theathleticuk . Ex-ed @NME , @QMagazine . Fast and bulbous! Kilkenny, London
Canyons Of My Mind.
Joined June 2013
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Pinned Tweet
Thinking about tea, demanding tea, and drinking tea. What woman could resist?
#cobblers
Something a lot of men don't like to admit:
All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women.
Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're a coincidental positive externality to the prime objective:
To keep the…
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My unskilled dad helped the trains run. My unskilled uncles built the Victoria Line. My unskilled aunts ran the canteen at the London Diamond Bourse. And my unskilled mum brought up six law-abiding tax-payers. Unskilled? Unbeatable, more like.
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RIP Bobby Charlton. This picture (teenage Bobby challenging his mum, Cissy, in the air in their backyard in Ashington) may be my favourite football image of all time.
#RIPBobby
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I take no pleasure in being right. Anyone could see this coming. But WE don't have to fall for it... We can choose to see it for what it is... malicious bullshit to which other property-buying wealthy people would never be subjected...
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England fans MUST talk, and fantasise, about reaching the Final. Its not "arrogant" or "deluded"; just natural excitement and optimism.
People who want England to fail must wait till they crash out. THEN it's your turn to gloat, mock and told-you-so.
That's how stuff works.
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The first ten people randomly drawn for the isolation-avoidance scheme.
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#RIPCyrilleRegis
. THIS is how massive Cyrille was back in the day. On the cover of the
@NME
, when that meant you were as big as Bowie.
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Sport matters. Since 2000, Russia has used force against 11 regions/neighbours. Their reward? 2 Olympics, a World Cup, Champions League etc. And their doped athletes have competed under an array of flags. All this ass-kissing and see-no-evil has emboldened Putin. Sport matters.
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The critical thing about the Classified Results was/is that it treats every club the same. Mansfield get the same space as Man U; Blackpool are afforded the same time and tone as Liverpool. It says "this is the pyramid, this is the family, this is the culture, this is football."
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I am a sports presenter. The
@BBC
has my number. They must be getting near the bottom of the barrel by now. So let me very kindly save them the price of the call...
NO. HELL NO.
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The single greatest moment in recent football history.
#OnThisDay
in 2016, Hibs fans belted out the finest rendition of 'Sunshine On Leith' we've ever heard as their team went on to win the Scottish Cup. Goosebumps.
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RIP Terry Venables. FA Cup winner with Spurs as both player and manager. More importantly, a working class kid from Dagenham who was at the very centre of English football for half a century. What a life. Colourful doesn't half do it.
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As teenagers, my sister brought home a new boyfriend. Very tall lad with pale skin, large feet and a very big head. My dad's first words to him, in front of everyone, and with great sincerity: "now tell me, young man... how much would you charge to haunt a house?" 😂😂😂
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Farewell then Jimmy, the greatest English striker, and my idol. As a kid, I loved him so much my dad woke me in the night to tell me he'd been transferred; he didn't want me to hear it at school. A lovely man and, with Bobby/Georgie/Beatles, the template for a working class hero
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RIP Bunny Wailer (right), one third of a group, the original Wailers, as great as any that have ever graced this Earth.
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RIP Annie Nightingale. Fine broadcaster, total trailblazer, and lovely person. During my brief reign of terror at Radio 1, she was the one, the only, senior DJ to seek me out and wish me luck. You don't forget stuff like that. Condolences to her friends and loved ones.
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I've responded really well to Spurs' winner! I don't care. COME IN YOU SPURS!
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Farwell then, Eric Dier. A good fella, 350+ appearances for Spurs, and a big part of some of the best Tottenham teams of my lifetime. The dimwit bile about him in the last 18 months has left me 🙄 and 😡. To quote the old song... I love Eric Dier... Best of luck, guy.
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Long before Rumours and all that, the original Fleetwood Mac were a fabulous band. That's because they had Peter Green writing, singing and, especially, playing that guitar.
#RIPPeterGreen
.
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So, a very narrow victory, with a result he likes; "the will of the people".
But... a large majority, that he doesn't like; "resign!"
In a clusterfuck of shitehawks, one ballbag swings lowest.
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Iceland has 40,000 males of footballing age. We've got more than that in prison.
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Polite notice to hacks sneering at John Lydon for putting on weight. He wrote Anarchy In The UK, God Save The Queen, Holidays In The Sun, Metal Box, Rise etc. YOU'RE writing about 62-year-old's beergut.
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RIP Wilko Johnson. Guitar genius. Good guy. One night in May 1973, at the Lord Nelson in Holloway Rd, his great band, Dr Feelgood turned teenage me from a soul/reggae freak into a lifelong lover of loud, unfiltered, gut-felt rock music. Thank you for that gift, Wilko.
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Couldn't be happier. Out for a few birthday pints in a rural irish pub, with a gaggle of loved ones. Including beloved sister
@MaggieK49264211
. Sliánte, you lovely people. 💚
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RIP Shane. Poet, singer and arguably the greatest talent thrown up by the London-Irish community. He spoke for us all. And, at his best, he touched everyone.
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RIP Stan Bowles. 5 measly England caps. Says less about him than an era when grunting commitment was valued above twinkling skill and visionary guile. Stan was a borderline genius, a player neutrals would pay to go and see. I know, cos i did.
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G'night, fellow Spurs fans everywhere. We all know life has to go on. The sorrow, anger, confusion and heartache will fade. But the feeling of being betrayed, long and short term, by Tottenham's current "owners", will not heal so easily.
#COYS
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RIP Eric Chappell, writer of one of THE great sitcoms, Rising Damp. The four main characters were each fleshed out with laser insight into human minds, and intense understanding of the inherent drama and comedy of conversational language. Thank you, Eric, thank you so much.
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RIP Lamont Dozier, writer of the Motown songs that defined Soul and Pop. Interviewed him at his home in the LA canyons. After our chat, he took me to a back room and, on a battered old upright piano, played me THOSE songs. I teared up; he smiled. A great man.
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BREAKING: Donald Trump refuses to pardon the second Stone Roses album.
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For the record, I just wanna say that he's my favourite Spurs manager ever. And to thank him for everything he's done. Simple as that.
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RIP Trevor Francis. There'll be lots of talk about that £1m fee, and what a lovely bloke he was (which I can personally and heartily endorse), but let's not forget... he was a really fantastic player.
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"YOU ABIDED BY THE RULES COS YOU DONT CARE ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN."
@DominicRaab
@michaelgove
@RishiSunak
aka the Gaslight Gang
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RIP Joe Kinnear. His rollercoaster managerial career sometimes obscures the fact that for a decade he was a really fine player for
@SpursOfficial
. And 🇮🇪.
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4pm this afternoon. Fenerbache v Galatasaray. MONSTER DERBY!
FENER - Dzeko, Fred, Livakovic, Tadic, Under, Batshuayi, Kent, Josh King etc
GALA - Icardi, Ziyech, Zaha, Muslera, Davinson, Ndombele, Mertens, Angelino, Akturkoglu etc
FUN ABUNDANT!
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For the £14.99 ppv Spurs games, I've offered Daniel Levy £2.99.
£1 now, the rest over four years...
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RIP Lee Perry. My musical hero. Among the very greatest of sonic wizards. Creator of 1000s of records for 100s of great artists, that all end up sounding like Lee. And he led an amazing life, a fact which keeps my heart from cleaving in two. Travel madly, little genius. 😔
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France: "We are conceding 40plus points at Twickwnham. We are surely the worst team in big time sport..."
Chelsea: "Hold our pint..."
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That promotion feeling. Gareth Ainsworth's hair,
@daRealAkinfenwa
's arm, and the sports photograph of the year.
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So very sorry to about my friend and colleague
#RIPRayWilkins
. Few people have taught me more about football - and in more direct language! More importantly, he was a genuinely lovely fella. And called ME “young man". 😔
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Deliberately kept 🤐 on this last night. Gave the trophy-humpers, transfer-junkies and haters time to spaff their bile. Post-match conference said it all; dedicated, professional, grounded and, above all, likeable. What a man. We're all lucky to have shared his career.
#harry
💙
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Farewell then, Hugo. 444 games for Spurs, our most-capped player, and the greatest Tottenham keeper of modern times. Good luck in America, and thank you for everything.
#hero
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Loved this fella. A fabulous player. Maybe we're now beginning to understand something about his decline as a football. Which is, of course, less important than his welfare as a person. Good luck going forward, Dele.
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Some of my greatest memories have been FA cup replays. Could've tolerated this if it had been for the good of the players. But let's be honest: replays have been ditched to accommodate a further Champions Lge round of
FC Bigbollocks v Dinamo CannonFodder.
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The death of Bury FC is sad, and a disgrace. Failed by its owner, the EFL, the PFA, the EPL and a load of other blazers who, as long as the cash rolls in, don't give a damn about the clubs, the communities at whose centre they stand, and the fans who give them life.
#shitehawks
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Watching The Sopranos for the 2nd time. Didn't think it was possible, but I'm loving it EVEN MORE. 1st time, the drama and violence pinned me to the wall. This time tho (older/wiser/relaxed?) I realise how arsebreakingly FUNNY it is. 9mm comedy gold. 😂😂😂
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Warning: over the next few days there will be a concerted effort to discredit
@MarcusRashford
. How he lives. Who he is. His "angle". Have your bullshit detector turned up to 11.
"Why are you being told as MPs to gang up on
@MarcusRashford
over free school meals?"
@kitmalthouse
: "I don't think it's necessarily ganging up, it's standard practice during any debate for political parties to issue briefs with suggested lines." JJ
#KayBurley
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Hi Jeremy. Please stop
@ing
me in your tweets. I'm not the angry politics culture war Danny Kelly. I'm the football, unpopular music cats and love Danny Kelly. Wouldn't ordinarily care, but your error keeps filling my timeline with "takes", "views" and plain ole weirdos. Ta 👍.
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My view right now. Yes, it's hospital time, and what these days gets called a "procedure"*. If you're
#teamDanny
, gimme a little thought around lunchtime. If you can't stand me, this could be your big day 😂😂😂.
(*I'm told it's routine, and I'll be fine)
Later, folks. 🏨👍
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253 plays 213, with nothing happening for three days. The Americans have finally discovered cricket!
#Election2020
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For what it's worth, I know the exact day the
@nme
went into decline. The day it started being a paid admirer of the music business, rather than a slightly deranged mate of music fans everywhere.
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Just dreadful news about Justin Edinburgh. Won two cups with
@SpursOfficial
, gave
@leytonorientfc
back their soul, and, whenever we spoke, a happy, enthusiastic fella. A loss to football, but moreso, obviously, to his family.
#RIPJustin
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I understand the clickbait/media game as well as any, but honestly, wtaf?
@SkySportsNews
today describing Abdoulaye Doucoure's sending off as "controversial". For something very similar, in 2016, Moussa Dembele, rightly, got a SIX MATCH BAN. You cannot be endangering eyes.
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Happy 100th birthday to the greatest ever joke. 😊 🎉
Buster Keaton and Roscoe Arbuckle in Back Stage, which was released 100 years ago today, on September 7, 1919
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I feel like I'm a traitor to Homeland, or two-timing The Sopranos. But I'm currently binge-watchjng the greatest Anerican TV series of the century.
#imo
#whereWallaceat
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A large one to celebrate the end, after x years, of the Press Box on
@talkSPORT
. The new live Monday night football has left us without a home. I'm really proud of the work, and deeply grateful to each and every one of you who've listened. Thanks all.
#onwards
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My new King...
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I hate it when players - loyal servants, if not always perfect footballers - are allowed to just drift away unheralded. So farewell then Davinson, thanks for the 200+ games, and good luck in Turkey.
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RIP Franz Beckenbauer. A brilliant, and madly successful, player, World Cup winning manager, and inventor of a whole new position, the libero. The first overseas player to capture my youthful imagination.
Der Guvnor.
#Beckenbauer
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Regardless of what you think of the Honours List... THE most deserved, and overdue, sporting knighthood of all...
#SirKenny
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On this day, 1988,
@SpursOfficial
signed the greatest English player of his generation. For the next three years, he was unstoppably brilliant and ridiculously entertaining. Something in my eye.
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My mum's in hospital. (old folks' stuff; she's going to be OK 🙏). Today, for a boost, she got a small blood transfusion. We will never know who the donor is, but I want to thank him/her for their gift.
#giveblood
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Just now. Prime Minister. Straight face: "Never in our history has our collective destiny and our collective health depended so completely on our individual behaviour."
#onerule
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So, it's really happening...
Best broadcaster.
Best presenter.
Best fan.
Best comedian.
Best bloke.
Worst publicity still.
Thank you
@JeffStelling
. Just thank you.
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Idea for TV series. Man is happily married to Puma Kings. Then, across a crowded room, he sees...
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RIP Chuck Berry. He invented the way rock sounds. And it's vocabulary too... Too important to contain in 140 words.
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BREAKING. Club insiders suggesting that Chris Wilder's position at Watford "increasingly tenuous".
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Noooooo. Nobody has given more football pleasure over the last 30 years than this absolute master. I will ONLY accept the departure of
@JeffStelling
if it turns out he's the new James Bond.
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Farewell then magnificent Jet Black. No coincidence that he's front and centre on The Stranglers' best album, Black And White. Unlike most bands, I've come to like The Stranglers more and more over the years. Fly fast, Jet.
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Polite reminder to people who abuse me on here.
I will not...
Engage with you.
Do "bants".
Retweet to shame you.
I will...
Block your sorry arse.
Forget you (immediately, completely, forever).
Go about my day, smiling.
Thank you. 😀
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I am very ill. Kidney stone the size of Gibraltar. Docs want me to "pass it". Given its size, I doubt Andreas Iniesta could pass the fucker!
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He's done awfully, obviously, but Wayne Rooney's not the villain of the Birmingham mess. The flashy new owners' decision to replace John Eustace (with the team motoring along nicely) shows how daft some of these people are. Somewhere between wilfully ignorant and proper bonkers.
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Aaah. RIP "Deadly" Derek Underwood, England's greatest spin bowler. As the picture hints, bowling spin at something approaching medium pace. Unique and brilliant, the first cricketer to capture my young imagination. Twirl on, sir.
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"Up next... Sally Gunnell on the Northern Ireland protocol..."
'If she now turns, she loses all credibility.'
Kriss Akabusi says Conservative Party members need to 'back up, get in line, or ship out' if they do not support Liz Truss.
📺 Freeview 236, Sky 515, Virgin 604
🖥 GB News on YouTube
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Jimmy Greaves, the greatest ever English striker, is 80 today. Happy birthday, King.
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Happy 50th to this thing of beauty. Can't be bothered arguing about it's greatness. Just to say that although I have changed over and over as the years have slipped by, it has remained my favourite record. I really, profoundly, love it.
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Didn't blame the ref.
Didn't slag his players.
Credited the opposition.
Conte forgets he works in England.
#class
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RIP Hugh McIlvanney, Britain's greatest sports writer, and my chum. We argued like cat and dog, but always made up. And when you were having a proper barney with Hugh, his use of language (he spoke as elegantly as he wrote) made you secretly glad you were fighting.
#genius
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Congratulations to Manchester council on the unveiling of their new statue of Harry Maguire.
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If only there was an actual photo of Blatter and Putin smiling over a recently opened attaché case. If only...
http://t.co/gRgwgGmisT
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Happy 20th birthday to the greatest cultural product, and addictive drug, of the 21st century. No film, record, tv series, broadcast, podcast or Broadway extravaganza come anywhere near Champ Man 01/02. I curse the day my brother John introduced me to it.
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The disgraceful implementation of VAR is destroying the game for fans; they can't celebrate goals, and they can't believe the evidence of their own eyes. But its also destroying it for the refs, forced now to go and confirm decisions they know to be bullshit. Get rid.
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Football makes 90% of its money from TV.
#CROENG
proving that without fans there is no TV "product".
Football is not the players, but the reaction of the fans to those players.
Instead of charging us ££s to get in, clubs should be letting us in for free.
Or paying us to come.
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Adieu then, Hugo. You were fabulous. All players eventually decline; few were coming down from such a high level as you. A million mercis, mon ami.
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Spurs through and through; you can only wish Harry Winks all the very best. Yet this morning on here I see him being belittled. Criticise him as a footballer, sure, but as a bloke he's always done his absolute best. There more to life than transferz, bantz and bell-end retweetz.
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I'm a big fan of Jurgen Klopp's chat. But telling fans to "move on" a few days after a failed coup that nearly killed 6 great clubs, and a 130-yo pyramid, is mood-blind. You pros have to move on, Jurgen, but the rest of us may need a little more time to unclench our teeth.
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Well done VAR again, you blood-sucking joy-vacuum. Another great goal wiped off WITH NOT ONE LEICESTER PLAYER APPEALING. VAR now totally in charge of the English game. No explanation, no accountability, just robotic searches for any reason to ruin the game as a spectacle.
#VARout
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💔
#RIP
Terry Hall. The Specials were a critical UK cultural landmark, Ghost Town a work of art. And Terry loved football/Man Utd. When I interviewed him (Colourfield era) we snuck into his beloved Old Trafford and did the chat on the pitch. And yes, Terry smiled.
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Excuse language, but I fucking hate how
@SpursOfficial
are playing. Wilful misuse of the talents of Kane and Son.
#WOLTOT
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Bob Dylan is 80 tomorrow. His birthday will spark 1m sizzling takes in how great/crap... he/music/society/art... is/was. To swerve all that, I'll just thank him for the mountain of great songs that have nourished my mind and heart down the years. Happy birthday, Bob.
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Its my birthday. Christmas birthdays pass by unnoticed, no problem. But my sister has just made me cry with this. Our council basement in Islington; me (skinny, fabulous ears), sister Maggie, the twins Mike and Andy, and my aunts Betty and Sally. Time passes; love remains.
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Be still my beating heart! Adidas Beckenbauer Supers, WITH THE RED STUDS! Little leather works of art.
#Beckenbauer
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