Daniel LaCroix
@danmclan
Followers
163
Following
3K
Media
9
Statuses
81
My wife just said “My Job Lot tissues smell like cigarettes”. I think she’s writing a punk album.
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Part of me wants to try and grow out my facial hair, the other part wants to continue to have friends.
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My life is a constant battle to not look like a murderer. Sometimes I'll just not blink for minutes on end...
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You know you've been driving a terrible car when you consider power windows and passing on the highway luxury features.
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If I tried to play basketball it would cause a tear in the space-time continuum. It's just not what God intended.
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When someone in the group makes a relatable joke about girlfriends but you've been single your entire life.
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My resting expression says "All my milkduds melted together".
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You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself shop at BJ's.
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Now I've never been poisoned but I have listened to The Fray.
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I think my car is on its way out, my check engine scanner shows a misfire on cylinder 4, a vacuum line leak, and type 2 diabetes.
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All of my pickup lines are Star Trek references. "I Jean-Luc Pic you."
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Man, sometimes it's hard being quite literally the most attractive man ever created. 😰 #thestruggle
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I'm wearing a leather jacket and holding an acoustic guitar, could you please redirect me to the dirtbag registration forms. Thank you.
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I just wanna go to kids adventure cuts and play spyro till my bowl cut is exemplary.
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"Why am I still single?" I ponder as I eat coco pebbles in my underwear.
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I tried no shave November once, I think I inadvertently raised awareness for rabies.
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