I just found out a comedian I know finds it annoying how often I mention winning the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. I on the other hand think it’s funny. And I know funny. It’s why I won the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival

For every rich Islamophobe we lose on the Upper East Side, we pick up 2 nonbinary baristas in Bushwick and Ridgewood. And you can repeat that in Boston and Chicago and Seattle.

Dick Cheney’s life mission was to insure Muslims could participate in democratic elections. Vote for Zohran

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Dick Cheney gone too soon. He had such a promising future as a Democratic Senate Candidate

This band somehow figured out the visual version of a song that gets stuck in your head

Zohran wasn’t talking about his aunt, it was his dad’s cousin. Coincidentally, Andrew Cuomo sexually harassed both his aunt and his dad’s cousin

If Zohran wins I will flee New York. The city will no longer feel safe because I have been accused of sexually harassing 13 women

Big apartment news. My roommate is moving from one side of the living room to the other

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Karaoke makes me feel like a rock star (I think I have hearing damage)

The cool thing about dating a girl with an onlyfans is even if she dumps you you still get to spend money on her

I watch stepmom porn because it fulfills a fantasy of mine (being 15 years old)

January 6 style insurrection to get Trump into heaven

If more of you would’ve bought Kamala’s book she would be president right now

I hate flavored cough syrup. It doesn’t make medicine taste like cherries it makes cherries taste like medicine

Diddy using baby oil to make inmates drop the soap

MAGA podcaster debating 100 Bad Bunny fans at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

If AI is for real, I’m gonna lose my job. But if AI is a bubble, it will destroy the economy and I will lose my job

Should my company invest more in AI? Lemme ask ChatGPT

A lot of buzz around a woman who can’t even throw a rock through a glass bridge

If all your friends took a bridge with a fat woman carrying a large rock would you?

Cuomo should drop out so Sliwa can win this thing