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SimplemanDaks Profile
SimplemanDaks

@dakinlikebacon

Followers
1K
Following
222K
Media
9K
Statuses
61K

•just a Midwest mediocre dude who can’t stand stupid people and swears, a lot • #elderemo #wannabehobbit #DisneyAdult #ShortKing #NoPlansJustVibes #KeepItSimple

Joined May 2010
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
3 years
He gets it.
@Olympics
The Olympic Games
3 years
If you watch one thing today, make it Giannis Antetokounmpo's response to a question on failure. 📹 @Bucks | @Giannis_An34 | @NBA
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
1 hour
“Pretty Odd” Schultz would just be on brand actually
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
2 hours
At least this worked out
@Bucks
Milwaukee Bucks
2 hours
Bounced back.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
2 hours
Giannis is back and Bobby wants the world to know that he’s gonna stay back.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
3 hours
Bump
@COgirlWIworld
tailKATE 💙🏒♥️
4 hours
I think maybe someone should watch Henry? Idk.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
4 hours
May send my resume with her if she gets the job
@COgirlWIworld
tailKATE 💙🏒♥️
7 hours
He introduced me as the “person we’re trying to convince to work here”. Is that good?
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
5 hours
This isn’t a “match against backups” it’s a “battle of the bell cows” between Henry and Jacobs. #BALvsGB #gopackgo
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@Iammonique05
TITTY
14 hours
Babies don’t “ruin your life,” but they do end your old one — pretending otherwise is dishonest.
@IshiiKaa_a
Nv♪
5 days
Unpopular Opinions: Newborn baby edition
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
9 hours
She went through cancer treatment while filming as one of the most badass female characters ever written
@gorgeous0017
GorgeousGlimpse
1 day
The most intimidating thing about her.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
9 hours
Yet now it can be just as pricey to grocery shop
@middle_class_us
middleclassparty
14 hours
Restaurant prices are up over 30% since 2019. Wages did not rise that fast. So people cut eating out first. That’s Econ 101.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
10 hours
@NefflynBe
11 hours
Without naming your job, tell me something you say 20 times per day at work ?
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
11 hours
On of my favorites
@HawkEmDownChris
HAWK
1 day
What song comes to mind?
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
11 hours
Kate’s gonna be gone at the end of January for the weekend and it’ll just be me and the pups. Not sure what I want to do so help me out No, I will not be socializing with others. Just not into it.
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
11 hours
I wish I could
@TolkienWorldG
Tolkien World
18 hours
Extended Editions only!
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
11 hours
Never use to be a big breakfast guy but I love me some B nowadays.
@conquertheno
CONQUERtheNO.org 🫶🏽
1 day
Which one is your ideal breakfast?
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
11 hours
New level of heartbreak just dropped: Your 3yr old has a legit nightmare. The whole shebang of screaming, crying, sweating and shaking at 4am. We watch Paw Patrol, Super Kitties and various other kids shows so no idea where the “they’re coming to get me”came from but damn 😢
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@WorldofRobert1
The Ex Problem Drinker
1 day
My wife just growled “Hey sexy” at me and started getting handsy. I wasn’t fresh from the gym. Wasn’t dressed up. Wasn’t wrestling bad guys or rescuing puppies. I was unshaven, in sweatpants, looking like a tired dad. So what was I doing that apparently turned her on? Folding
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@whycarolzinea
🧷
2 days
hayley williams literally has a song for this
@JoroJrn
JoroJrn
3 days
25-30 is when you realize you didn't know anything
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
13 hours
I found mine on social media. Go to therapy and get secure OR even better, if you’re feeling insecure talk to her. Fucking loser.
@toofan923
T●●fÀN̈™🐬🐬
1 day
Having a girlfriend who doesn't post herself on social media is an underrated blessing
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@FightWithMemes
Fight With Memes
1 day
Should this be allowed in all 50 states?
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@dakinlikebacon
SimplemanDaks
13 hours
Boomer complaint incoming: the newer “dial” type shifters suck.
@WilJay_1
Jm.autos 🚗
1 day
People who swear by manual mostly don’t drive daily traffic. Daily drivers know why automatic wins.
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