Me:"What's wrong with me?" Me:"Everything." Me:"Too broad." Me:"Well, you're talking to yourself." Me:"Nobody likes a smartass."

Little old biddy just told me she's getting old and did I not just say "it's either that or death."

No one is louder than a parent insisting that they aren't yelling.

If you see me on Instagram after I say I'm going to sleep, no you don't. Respect my bedtime routine.

I'm spending the weekend with my mother and she just asked me to "keep an eye" on my own child while she's busy. Ma'am, what are these shenanigans? I am not here to work.

American Indians are really paying $20k to have someone come to their house, eat their samoosas, and yell at them for being fussy? My granny used to do it for free. Someone come fetch her.

Week one of weaning: wondering if it would really be so bad if my son just kept drinking breastmilk until university.

My father said I always look like I'm coping well even when I'm not and I'm like oh excuse me, let me just:

I'm going to start referring to periods of ill mental health as if they're historical events. Eg: the great depression of 2018 left my cognitive stores in tatters. Just to add a little ✨romance✨

.it was early Jan 2004, matric results just came out with 2As, 2Bs, 2Cs 😭. But I couldn't afford Wits registration fee. So I asked mother for R20 return taxi fare to go hustle in Polokwane with a brown envelope, plan was to just walk into every govt building & ask for help. 🤣

"Whatever youuu can dooo I can do betterrrrr"

Not my psychotic patients telling me to leave work soon so I can avoid traffic and stay safe. 😭❤️

Self centred. Weak. Her taste in men was so bad that somehow her stalker wasn't the worst of them.

The "I'm done for now but might need to used again for another sandwich later" position, akin to the used clothing item that's not fresh enough to go back into the wardrobe but not quite dirty to be put with the laundry so it accumulates on the chair you never use in your bedroom

Considering my public anti-birk stance many years ago and the fact that I now wear them daily for comfort AND fashion, I worry that clogs are also coming for me. I pray not but...fashun is dangerous and I am weak.

Switching from skinny jeans to straight cut has changed my life. I can't believe I used to fight my clothes every morning for 10 years. My ankles deserved more respect.

I’ll never forget that time as a med student when my patient told me she had crushing 10/10 chest pain that felt like an elephant on her chest so I ran to get my senior resident ASAP and then when we went back she looked so confused and denied ever having chest pain in her life

my pregnant friend was shopping once and a strange woman put a hand on my friend's belly so my friend put a hand on her boob