Was filming some stuff today when the Openreach engineer dropped round to fix the internet. Neither of us acknowledged my outfit. 🎄

My Comedy Store set at Cray Cray Cabaret -

I am so chuffed & excited to be performing at @comedystoreuk for the first time ever in this #HugeCareerGoalsMoment for me AND I’ll get to perform with @bechillcomedian in our super cool super fun double act that we’ve been creating! God I love comedy ❤️ https://t.co/vzQHwoINqd

Is Rishi short for anything? He is short for everything.

‘Boris withdraws’. There’s a first.

Surprising last word on my 5yo reading homework

Bugger Balmoral

I just finished something that doesn’t have to be done until Tuesday. I don’t know who I am anymore?!

I found my passport, but not before I looked in the bread bin 3 times.

Jubilee in a thing called love?

My girlfriend is furious because she cannot believe that I genuinely prefer the Pet Shop Boys version of You Were Always On My Mind to Elvis drone fest.

Appear to have made Lemon Jizzle by mistake.

Nduja really like it? Is it, is it sausage?

Gochujang hot on its heels.

Have we reached peak Nduja?

Would recommend.

An affectionate tribute, but to who?

Not into hearing about Johnson’s probe tbh.🤢

I had stuff to do, but I made this song instead.

Heavy pencil ✏️ #selftape

My 4yo keeps saying she likes ‘daddy’s home made hash brownies’. She means my hash browns.