Dirty Kyle
@codenamekyle
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Colonizer Darby
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1. Ah suh me deh Spain enu, want a bus fi go 3z, suu me say ah me a go look a Jutc cause me deven inna the rush. While heading to the bus park me reach like tastees deh suh and see a coaster and hear the ducta say "half way tree cross road Dolla fifty"
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Man dem, any day me see dah yute ya a road me jus ago kick weh him foot pon all a we behalf
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Bredda a man jus swing out pon me pon boulevard and me afi draw brakes till all me food dash weh. I am upset
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If me did eva love man…
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Nuh show we nuh more house
Looking for a place to call home? Well you've found it.
Feast your eyes on this charming 2BR 1BTH 950 sq.ft house for sale in Passage Fort,
#Portmore
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JMD $16,800,000
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@kellerwilliamsj
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Me can carry tv go work ?
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17. Me come off a the bus a 3z and go bout me business, hail up the driver and thing, hope him refer me to some other bus for my ductoring services, I feel like I did a good job and no me neva pay nuh fare, after me a duct bloodclaa bus, yu mad ?
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UNU WAKE UP THE DEAD FUCKING GYAL AND TELL HAR WE SOON COME FI HAR
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"LOOK HOW LONG MAWNIN LIGHT AND YU NOT EVEN GET UP AND TRY MOVE ROUND AND HELP SO SUMN, YU MUSSI FEEL YU HAVE MAID IN YA, ME ANU NOBODY HELPER, ME SUPPOSE TO GO A WORK AND COME HOME AND COOK WASH AND YUN ROUN CLEAN HOUSE, UNU MEK A SAD MISTAKE INNA THIS PLACE!"
How your mother comes in your room when you're trying to sleep in late on the weekend
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10. Me get up well militant and say "ALL FARES DEH PLEASE"
Then proceeded to shout an assortment of phrases such as:
"SEND UP THAT FIMI"
"HOW MUCH OUT A THE GRAN"
"YU NAVE A BILLS MUMA ?"
"PON THE BACK"
"PUT DEM TOGETHER"
"DOLLA FIFTY FI THE FAREEEE"
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Was on the road today and saw a video call from my Grandma, I was driving but I still answered, only for her to say, "me jus did a show me fren them say anything me call yu always answer nuh matter wah, gwaan yaa me one bwoy"
💀💀💀
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8. Me fully engrossed in my roll as the ducta now enu, we reach out a Ace deh suh weh the new SOE checkpoint deh but nuh Soulja never did a work suu we breeze pass deh suh, ac stop beat now suu me look round and say "fly the window dem deh, ALLL WINDOWS"
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Everyday I check the top 10 in jamaica on netflix and realise say a bare foolishness unu watch
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"Movements enu"
"Inna the marrows"
"Man dem"
"Big up unu self enu"
"One chop"
"Road a tek on enu"
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My mother used to cover up bruises wid makeup and go work a day time fi months and me never know till one day one pop up a work fi look fi her and ask her a wah that. Every man a get up and a talk talk pon this and none a unu never yet afi fist it out wid man cause them put hands
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11. Sidenote, I have a 1 in maths, 2 in add math, A in Pre-Cal and A in Calculus and badman, me never do nuh maths suh hard inna me life yet, me brain a churn like cornmeal Inna pot a try check up all a the change and a get silver from the driver and a maths up everything
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I’m so flabbergasted rn, it’s 11:51 and somebody jus show up a me yard wid 2 goat
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Deep inna me sleep this morning me feel somebody a shake me, when me roll over nuh dah b ya come a whisper to me, "can carry me go school please?"
Suh me now afi roll out a me bed and draw on clothes jus cause me caa say no
I pray the day never comes where she outgrows me 😭😭
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13. Me look pon the man and say "madhead, from yu come pon the bus me tell yu say a Dolla fifty and yu really come gimi the dead bills, better yu come off a the bloodclaat bus enu badman cause a joke ting you deh pon"
Feel like me did too engrossed in character looking back
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Can tell seh Rvssian is a real Jamaican uptown yute cause the man couldn't lef out the Accord 😭😭
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Me, bare tings me gwaan wid
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15. Suh yea we reach duhaney park and let off couple people, tek up couple more, me get fi say "CROSSS ROAD HALF WAY TREE" couple time well and beat up the bus side fi let off and do road and me tell the shoolaz them "NO SCHOOLAZ" LOOOOL
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5. Suu the man drive off now and fly round terminus side then tek it pon the bypass. Ac still blazing but the door open. Suh him turn round a say "me general, lock dah door deh nuh"
From that moment I should have know, I was the Ducta now
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Just found out that people call spinnaz "buddy dumpling"
Just found out that people call buddy dumpling "spinnaz"
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Suh me know me too dark enu cause as the door open is a aye gyal weh di bomboclaa
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14. But the dawgist wicked and like dawg, wid him teif self bout him waa pay bills, me never get the fiflaa still but atleast me did present him wid a sizable amount a badness fi almost get it 😭😭😭
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Caa believe me mek Rvssian tell me straight jeans and fitted wid dah voice deh and me tek him serious
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Having to go outside and act like everything good when life a beat yu kill yu is really insane
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7. Bus stop and me collect the fare and a bredrin a come on and ask "weh dah bus ya a go mad head?"
Suh me say "cross road half way tree" him say ah and jump on. Suh me look pon and say in my most ducterly voice "Dolla fifty enu mad head" him say ah.
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6. Bus a drive steady still without the ducta, we reach bout village and somebody a come, surprisingly actually cause who takes a Dolla fifty bus fi come a village anyways, but yea them a come suh the driver "yow me general, collect dah fare deh"
Suh me say ah, my time to shine
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12. Oh btw, memba the madhead me pick up a village ? Man gimi bills dawg, man really gi me bills after me tell him a Dolla fifty, Suh me look pon the man and say "weh di fiflaaaa" man ago say "you did tell me say a Dolla fifty?"
But a weh the bloodclaat this pon me
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Pull the gate fi go out and this dog weh me nuh know from nowhere jus run in bare barking and start have a stand off with me for no reason
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16. Did end up pick up a next ducta still when we reach pon molynes road and me faithfully turn over the doctorly duties to him, however not before letting out another, "CROSS ROAD HALF WAY TREE" and a "COME IN NUU BABY, HALF WAY TREE" "MUMA YU NUH READY ? CROSS ROAD"
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Pon your mother. Some of you will never understand where women are coming from until it happens to someone you love and you see the pain in their eyes and you feel even more helpless than they do. That's all I will say.
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Gonna be honest, I read this as homophobic and not homophonic the first few times and proceeded to burst my brain to find the correlation before I finally realized it was homophonic
A homophonic mistake I see often.. When we say something doesn't "phase" us.
The word we mean to say is actually "faze".
The former means to carry out s/thing in stages (like phase out GSAT) while the latter means to disturb or bother someone, which makes much more sense.
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Everybody fi can cook still
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
WOMAN FI CAN COOK!!!
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If me did know a dat a gwaan me wuda go row di boat myself
$3000 USD/month really got them out of bed this morning huh.
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Social House ppl, pay me double what you paying her and I tweet about it everday till the next episode drop
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WEH YAA DO PON COCKY YUTE ?? BUN AWFFF
on some COCKY shit i can treat u better than anyone else has ever treated u idc 🙄
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9. LMAAAAOOOOOO, at this point me a dead inside wid laugh enu cause wtf bro, but the bus a gwaan same way, me still have me seat btw, me nuh gi weh that all now. When we reach ferry deh suh now the driver say collect the fare dem deh, business time now
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Texting me only when you want or need something is perfectly fine, it’s either I can or can’t do it or will or won’t do it. Nothing more to it than that. However do not try to play me and act like you care about how I’m doing and try finesse it, that piss me off differently.
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I have moments during the day where I look at my girl in utter amazement and awe. Sometimes I really and truly can't believe God made someone this annoying
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Imagine me buy my shoes wid my money and a man ago look pon me and tell me say me wear it too much, lmaaaaooooo. Waa see me wear it again ???
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Next week Thursday, come out and support a great musician !!!
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I get so clingy and emotional when I'm attached to someone, I'll throw a whole fit for some attention
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In Jamaica we say, "But anu that guess wa gwaan"
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Me jus casually deh ya a tek in the traffic a go home when me see a taxi man tear off the whole a one likkle princess brand new civic when him a try cut cross. Believe you me say the dawgist start gwaan the most way when him see say the empress kinda timid
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Spin two time and walk go inside backway, duppy get dizzy, him nuh know weh me turn
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Kartel tell the yutes fi pull up them pants and go a school and not one pants move and not one yute go a school
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This will be an ongoing thread of me trying to fix this mess of a house, wish me luck guys...
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The dawg wid the Red Bull come hail me ina the party and we reason fi a time and ppl I DO NOT KNOW THAT NIGGA 😭😭😭
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Tbh mannish water is an occasion specific soup so it nuh count when ranking actual soups. Mannish water deven taste good a yu yard, yu afi drive it ova smaddy duppy
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I remember this one time me Aunty side man link and give me a handbag fi give her. Then him tell me fi tell her say in the handbag is two different lingerie, one fi she wear for him and the other one she can wear for my uncle and she nufi mix the two. What a considerate side man
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Me a walk inna Mega Mart parking lot and this lady a drive pass inna har Prado and a stare me down and a smile. Babes Prado nuh frighten me, do better than that. Pull up inna a Q8 and me cock up me batty same time
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My brother was kicking the ball in the house and broke the vase 🥴
I can promise you his mother gonna tear his ass when she gets home. I might tell her I bounced it over and broke it and save him but for now I wanna see him get his ass beat
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How yu waa the gyal gargle yu balls and yu nuh shave brogad ? Feel a stringy mango she a nyam ?
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More while me jus first har and do a mad fake swerve first cause memba say me deven waa deh ya suh my girl suh know wah you a do
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Everyday him come pon this fuck bout him look good, ago kick weh him foot and run
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4. Driver get ben now and jus rev out the bus and drive off lef the ducta
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Rather buy 5 tastee Patty fi gran than eat a Juici cardboard crust patty
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
On wednesdays you can get any 5 patties for $500 at Juici... You're welcome
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*Random girl post a bikini pic/video*
Fat Pussy Twitter: MY PUSSY CUDA NEVA FIT INNA THAT, ONE A THE JAW DEM WEIGHT 10KG, AS ME PUT IT ON MY PUSSY LIP A FLY OUT ‼️
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A our boy dat so him can do anything
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Many will not understand the supreme delicacy which I currently posses but I assure you, those who know, definitely know
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Having relationship arguments with people I wasn’t in a relationship with was the most ghetto shit I’ve ever done
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Male on male accountability is so very lacking. Hold your friends accountable bro
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@Boy__Junior
That's why me ago run same time badman, not even a wait, as me slide tackle him me a tek weh me self
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Can’t believe these niggas trying to clown me for wanting to praise the lord and ring in the new year in the house of God. Not gonna let them break my faith though, I’m proud of my God and won’t deny him infront of man
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A short story of my grandmother telling me she's the Goodest gyal of them all
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Correcting her grammar in the middle of a serious conversation or argument >>>
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Nobody on this app could ever get me that upset to post my accounts
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2. Suh me say ah mek me look. Circle the bus and peep inside, it have people, a decent assortment of people but not full. Suh me step inside, AC blazing and all. Back seat empty and the single seat beside the door. Suh me a make my way to the back when me say no, caa bada
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3. Suh me turn back and go sidung a the door. Likkle time pass and the driver start cuss the ducta fi come cause him ready, but ducta a look couple more people. Apparently them never did a get along from a taller time I guess.
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Me a dead ova you while you a dead ova somebody else is so crazy
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Kc yute: "run to"
Jean Paul: "lol, bare tings you gwaan wid enu"
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On behalf of all Saints Jago students, past, present and future, adminstrative staff, teachers, ancillary staff, well wishers and supporters, we would like to say that the ones who came to test from the College of Kingston are now deceased, , they have passed, away, DEM DEAD.
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lol pls look when the ppl dem a run unu card, doh be like me
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"Yes officer, I am sure there are more than 20 individuals gathered here at this particular time, please come and ensure the sound is locked off as it poses a danger to our health and safety"
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