jack james
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Customising my chicken and cheese burger on the touch screen at mcdonalds
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Trying to get a vodka red bull at splendour in the grass this year
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Unvaccinated people are finally allowed into retail stores in NSW tomorrow. My thoughts are with the Tree of Life christmas casuals
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Say what you want about Dominic Perrottet but at the end of the day he is NSW’s first openly gay premier and that’s absolutely something we should all celebrate
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11,200 cases in NSW today and people are still waking up and deciding to play a game of putt putt at holey moley newtown
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Having a wonderful afternoon celebrating the queen’s platinum jubilee in a public bathroom
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Dominic Perrottet front of mosh for Charli XCX in the domain
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If JB hifi sends me one more “it’s not too late to pick up a last minute gift for mum” email I’m going into their broadway store and scattering her ashes on a macbook pro
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Scott Morrison has appointed himself as next week’s guest judge on rupaul’s drag race down under
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John Barilaro to replace Beanie Feldstein in Broadway revival of ‘Funny Girl’
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If your BeReal isn’t a computer screen I’ll be making one assumption
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After today’s Oscar nominations Kitty Flanagan is only 4 awards away from achieving EGOT status
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I'm hosting the 2026 commonwealth games at mine I'll organise a punch but BYO any other drinks and message me dietary requirements/allergies etc so I can organise like a veg pasta or something similar for us to share
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Read national bulletins on the ABC this week thank you to my year 8 English teacher who got in touch on Facebook to tell me that I sound different
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@theprojecttv
if there’s time between interviews with disgraced restauranteurs tonight you could suggest that people stop sending death threats to Reuben/his management/casual staff who work at the box offices of venues he’s performing in
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Hmmm
The Senate wing of Parliament House has been evacuated with reports over the loudspeaker of smoke in part of the building. Fire truck outside and sirens through the area
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Why does serotonin have to be released by exercise? Why can’t it be released by me ordering double quarter pounder extra cheese extra bacon extra beef patty
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Today’s top story should honestly be my 80 year old great uncle knowing what a smart speaker is
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The official dates for Beyoncé’s RENAISSANCE World Tour are finally here
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Went to pick up a novel but the only one available was the novel coronavirus
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Was going to renew my mental healthcare plan today but Boost told me to Love Life and now I can’t even remember which mental illnesses I have
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6 years ago today I googled “pretty photo of lake” sent the photo to channel 10 and fraudulently appeared on national television
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Regardless of your political beliefs Jacinda Ardern will go down in history as one of New Zealand’s prime ministers
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Ruining christmas lunch by explaining polyamory to my 70 year old father
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I took this photo at Bondi about 20 minutes ago. I can’t take much more of this. STAY HOME SYDNEY.
#COVID19NSW
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Real estate agent doing routine inspection this morning said “I love the way you’ve decorated the place mate”
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Lost the war against my hiccups on the national youth broadcaster
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Shawn Mendes was no where to be found when Ultimo looked like this in 2019
Shawn Mendes announces new single ‘What The Hell Are We Dying For?’ out tonight.
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Finally achieved lifelong dream of buying an unnecessarily long couch so I can cosplay as a finalist in the big brother house
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Reading the news while I have an allergic reaction to this $3 sheet mask
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Lydia Schiavello in talks to replace Daniel Andrews as premier of Victoria
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7 days alone in my apartment with approximately 50 huntsman spiders and an empty can of bug spray
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Novak Djokovic episode of border security will be the best thing to happen to channel 7 since The Mole
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James Corden has been banned from Lowes Marrickville Metro after the store’s manager accused him of being “extremely nasty” to his staff on multiple occasions:
“[He was] the most abusive customer to enter our store since it opened 25 years ago.”
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I would put my name in the goblet of fire for attention and then fake gastro at the last minute to get out of the competition
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Today is two years since I lost my mum and I’d do anything to be watching survivor with her on the couch today
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Grimes seen reading Karl Marx following split with world's richest man Elon Musk
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Favourite genre of podcast is hot men talking about literally nothing
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Even though mum never got to hear me on the radio, this morning I got to chat about grief, rant about how amazing of a mum she was and play one of her all time fav songs! Big hug to anyone who's feeling extra shithouse today
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Getting to work 3 and a half hours early tomorrow and logging into ticketek on 40 different desks
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Selling my old formal dress message me if interested bought for $380 looking for offers around $240
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(flirtatiously) I ain’t spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland
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It’s time to ask them who has it worse when it comes to buying your first home
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James Bond fans can expect a relatively unknown male in his 30s to take over the 007 role.
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One of these men is going to be elected as the next premier of new south wales on saturday
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Sorry doc I only take medical advice from the guy from my high school who called me a fag for buying a pink fingerbun from the tuckshop and went on to become a prominent YouTube personal trainer
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“Oh great choice this one is my favourite” the lush employee says to me through gritted teeth on the seventh hour of her shift
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Repurposing the UV flashlight from my rapid test kit to search for traces of semen on everyone’s clothes
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Just cried walking through the aisles of chemist warehouse thinking about Muriel’s mum
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This is how the ABC parties
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@katyperry
recreated my met gala after party look for Halloween this year. Great job katy
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This NFT business is looking a lot like mighty beanz to me
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Why haven't any journalists asked Anthony Albanese if a man buys a horse for $60 and sells the horse for $70, buys the horse back for $80, and sells the horse again for $90, how much money did the man make or lose? Or did he break even?
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She deserves it
Australian bird of the year 2021: vote now for your favourite
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