cluedont
@cluedont
Followers
62K
Following
17K
Media
3K
Statuses
25K
I know it might sound like I'm over-exaggerating, but I'm currently at the same temperature required to make glass.
0
5
27
Nothing to see here apart from a woman eating a roast dinner out of a storage box.
8
1
61
I'm glad we didn't get the heatwave in Scotland. Who wants heat? And a wave? No thanks.
1
1
18
If a colleague asks how your holiday was it's actually illegal to not say that it feels like a lifetime ago already.
0
0
13
Apparently Rod Stewart has asked to have a box of spare throats on stage just in case. #Glastonbury.
2
0
7
Just watched a video of David Beckham tend his vegetable patch and subsequently discovered the exact point where scrolling becomes doom scrolling.
1
0
3
My brother let me borrow his car to go to a safari park and I sent him this photo.
1
1
33
I was going to look at some pictures of Jeff Bezos' wedding but decided to remove my own cornea with a hot spoon instead.
3
7
44
What has this place become. A verified cuntfest it seems.
1
0
14
RT @CFCDaily: @SkySportsNews No wonder he got caught lacking at the back post every other week. He was up all night on Duolingo.
0
1K
0
Actually Stevenage has 3,000 more inhabitants than Andorra so I take that back.
1
0
5
Beating Andorra 1-0 is basically the equivalent of getting a 1-0 win at Stevenage, if Stevenage was a country, and not a shit hole.
4
0
11
I bet even Jordan Henderson's like 'Really? Why?'.
1
0
9
Work tip: maintain an air of mystery and intrigue by editing all your teams messages just after you send them.
0
2
5