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𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭 Profile
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭

@clappymonkey

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Shouty angry IT security drunk. Stage IV bowel cancer which is crappy. May be imminently fucked. Also I've written a book and am working on more.

Directly above the earths core
Joined February 2010
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Also if I don't reply to you at the moment, it doesn't mean I don't care, it means I'm fucked up and more than a bit poorly
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
They did and x-ray and an ultrasound both of which showed nothing. I assume the next plan is CT scan. Who knows at this point though
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
In other news before I started puking and going yellow, I was 13.5 stone. I'm currently 10.9 stone. So that's fun
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Well it took ten hours but I have a bed. It's from 1977 and I am two foot too big for it but hey ho
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
I get the distinct impression I won't be leaving the hospital today
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Fuck knows what's up with me now then...
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
In other news my platelet count is now 425... Le shrug
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Okay *urgent* blood tests are ensuing. I've gone yellow like a Simpson
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Off for chemo. I can barely walk. This could be an experience
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
I'm getting very scared. I'm losing hair. I'm losing weight. I can't eat. The hernia seems to be growing. I think I'll be bringing all this up tomorrow when I'm getting chemo
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Just ate. Just threw up (even with anti sickness pills). Shit
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
See... This is why I'm iffy... Apparently said book is in 48 libraries, which means it's only sold 2 copies to private buyers. I'm calling horseshit on this...
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
To be continued post chemo
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
As you can perhaps tell, I'm fucking raging
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
I want a *full* breakdown of units sold to which market in which format, as from what I can tell there are no foreign sales or ebooks.
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
So I got my first royalty cheque today from book one. Apparently I only sold fifty copies despite it selling out multiple times on Amazon. I'll be kicking off about that next week as frankly I've made more from 2000 word articles....
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
Spent all day in agony. Put on my ileostomy support. Instantly feel better. Yes folks, as well as cancer, and ascites, I also have a hernia... Fun times
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
My hair now is apparently made of smoke...
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@clappymonkey
𝔐𝔦𝔨𝔢 💣 𝔎𝔢𝔪𝔭
7 years
I am losing clumps of hair at the moment, which is a slight concern as I really don't think I can pull off the bald, monastic look
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