Ivan Pavlovic
@cigar_and_salt
Followers
985
Following
55K
Media
2K
Statuses
30K
If you have tattoos. I'm sorry to tell you, but:. I will automatically assume that . • you're a criminal .• that you like to do the drugs.• and also that you're a bad entreprenur.
244
9
314
This is a milestone celebration post. 800 followers. Wow, thanks. Celebration post end.
123
5
327
I lost 10 followers over the night. While sleeping. Lesson:. Sleeping is bad for entreprenurs. Don't sleep!.
130
12
281
I just took 9 cold showers in the last hour. Where's my passive income?.
131
18
288
If you are under 1 000 000 followers, introduce yourself in the comments. And: I will reply with something mean and hurtful.
296
12
274
I pee while showering. It's the only reasonable thing for entreprenurs to do. It saves. • time. The end.
179
13
280
Underrated life hack?. Showering!. I do it at least twice a month, sometimes even more.
135
6
259
Never forget where you come from. I just came from the toilet. 🙏.
103
15
233
Please do NOT comment under this post. I'm not in the mood for replying.
172
1
214
Question to my fellow entreprenurs:. How often do you pee in front of your clients to assert dominance?.
126
8
178
Can't tweet right now. I'm thinking about the Roman Empire.
96
8
158
A coffee and a cigarette is all the morning routine you need.
87
8
159
10 years ago, I smoked 10-15 cigarettes a day. I knew I had to do something about it. And I did: . Today, I smoke 20+ cigarettes every single day. 💪🏽.
91
2
151
If you're breathing air. I'm sorry, we can't be friends.
106
4
144
Me defending pineapple on Pizza against all the haters.
75
7
141
I just signed my first client on Twitter! . I'm overwhelmed! . The hardest part was faking his signature on the order.
44
2
139
If you have under 706 followers, I'm sorry. But you are and will stay a virgin.
104
1
139
Hello, I'm new to X. Can someone explain to me how this works?.
120
3
135
Good morning to everyone except people who are not as handsome and cool as me.
88
3
131
Time for a decision. What would you rather have:. 1 client paying you $3 a month?. or. 4 clients paying you $50 000 a month?. Be honest!.
102
4
129
Never trust an entreprenur who wears socks while he/she sleeps.
88
9
135
I can't remember what I wanted to say in this draft. Any ideas?
185
5
128
I'm going to bed and didn't even brush my teeth. I follow no rules. 💪🏽.
90
3
134
Show at least SOME effort by following me before you send me such a DM. 🙏
70
4
134
I'm not showing up today. See what I did there? . I still showed up. This tweet is not about showing up. I peed my pants a little bit.
59
3
120
Just me after replying to the 350 comments on a viral tweet.
32
5
114
People keep telling me that I look like Shakira (the singer who sings that ledoleleloleeeh song). 🤗. Is it true please be honest?
85
0
108
Scheduling tweets is for nerds. Proof: I never schedule tweets.
61
2
108
Losing followers since I'm posting my face daily. Thanks. I'll never stop. 🙏
45
0
109
Finally someone said it!. Also: my DMs are a source of endless joy. 🙏
63
2
109
This is scary. A German man - before and after engaging on X for hours. Please take your time to rest. Growth is not as important as your health. 🙏
42
4
105
Hey, this is Dan Koe. I lost my X password and Ivan let me use his account. Please send some money so I can retrieve it, tenks hihi. Proof: this is Dan Koe.
53
0
102
Not so good?!. My profile banner is a work of much love and little talent!. What could I possibly say to this?
70
0
95
There are people here on X that truly want to help you. That want you to succeed. I'm not one of them.
54
2
99
If you want to succeed as an entreprenur, this is what you need to do:. • be over 181.6 cm (5 feet 11.5 inches) tall, measuring morning height. If you're not, you will fail no matter what.
75
2
94
My discipline is Asian. My computer skills are Indian. My will to conquer the world. obviously German. My love for freedom (and junk food) is 100% American. And you call me full of racist clichés?!. Think again!.
37
3
95
Wow. Ok. Sheesh. Oh gosh. 700 Followers. That's even more than 699!. 700 beautiful souls. 700 people I could harvest valuable organs from. Thankful. 🙏
56
1
99
A wealthy sheikh asked me to become his personal jester (and belly dancer). I'd have to move to Dubai, though. Ewww! . Should I accept?.
57
0
92
Pooping. Let's talk about it. Should entreprenurs really poop?. Or is it just a distraction from the grind and hustle you should be focusing on?.
63
3
97
I failed. I peed this morning. And missed the bowl. But. Giving up is no option. Sitting down to pee neither. Tomorrow, I'll do better. Hold me accountable! 🙏.
48
1
84
I did it, guys!. I got my first client!. Feels so unreal. How did I do it?. I waited outside his workplace (CEO of a six-figure business). When he left the building, I jumped on him and knocked him out. Now he's in my basement and he agreed to purchase my copywriting services.
53
1
88
An entreprenor should constantly be learning. Did you know that. Milk can be extracted from cows!. What can be extracted from you?. Value, worms, or maybe human milk. ?.
46
4
88
Scheduling tweets is for nerds and virgins. I'm sorry, but it's true.
51
0
79
It hurts when you realize that it's time to say goodbye to the leftover Pizza in your fridge.
50
1
83
This is unacceptable. Help me get rid of the number of Satan!. I as an entreprenur want to be associated with our Lord Jesus Christ only.
37
1
80
Become the most interesting person in the room!. How?. I don't know. The end.
41
1
84
Have fun with Twitter, neeerds!. I'm touching grass. Bye.
24
0
74
Real men should have short hair. Like a soldier, or Vin Diesel or such. Longer hair is for girls.
62
1
84
Copywriters on here be like:. Want to make your writing stronger?. Here's what you need to do:. • remove all the words that exist. The end.
37
4
81
Me waiting for the 1000 followers to feel like a complete human being. (symbolic picture)
50
0
83
On the road to 1 000 followers. It's time for a GIVEAWAY!. My 1 000th follower will get these cool airpods. (Bonus: They've been used by me! Delivery fees has to pay the winner.)
58
0
82
Being an entreprenor is not just about hard work and determination. It's also about babbling 24/7 about hard work and determination.
33
2
81
Men are much better entreprenurs than women. I'm sorry, but it's true. You know why?. • Men can wrestle lions (weak or dying lions).• Men have beards (important for respect).• Men have the power to create life (life=businesses).
54
2
79
I would never judge you. No matter who you are. (I didn't go to school for judges.).
36
3
82
You get 3 followers per day. I get followed by Elon Musk. The real one. We are not the same. Because I'm a completely different person.
47
0
76
Sundays are made for self-reflection. That's why I have to ask:. What's the reason you pee in your cat's litter box from time to time?.
37
1
76
I'm in a good mood. So here's a very good business idea - FOR FREE:. Step 1: Buy things that people need - for example chewing gum, car batteries, cute rabbit figurines. Step 2: Sell those things. Pro tip: Selling price must be higher than what you paid. Step 3: Get rich. 😎.
40
1
76
Guys, I'm in jail!. Reason: being too cool. Need a lawyer.
40
0
73
Tell me your most serious crime (and I'll not use that information to blackmail you in the near future).
59
0
75
If you're an entrepreneur between the age of 24-45, you are most probably this: . Aged between 24-45. Type "You agree" if you agree.
41
0
70
This is why I show up daily. This is what I'm here for. This is the reason why I keep going.
42
0
74
I have a really urgent question. How much acid do I need to dissolve an approximately 6ft tall FISH?.
47
2
77
@MarinSanna Sorry Sanna, we broke up two days ago. 💔. Please don't contact me here on Twitter. We need to move on. .
8
1
74
My content strategy is to entertain and make you laugh. Or to annoy you until you feel the burning desire to punch me in the face.
41
1
70
I have been wearing the same underpants for almost a week now. And you're hesitant to repurpose your content?!.
58
0
72
Like it or not, but. There are three basic truths to life:. • tea is for girls.• coffee is for men.• peeing your pants a little bit is ok, you're still an adult.
39
3
73
It costs $0 to steal packages from other people's doorways and make money reselling them on eBay. What's your excuse for staying poor?! 💪🏽.
44
4
70
I failed. I went into monk mode (for 2 hours). But then I grabbed my phone again. Still, I've learnt some valuable lessons:. • you can breathe air.• cold showers make my peepee shrink.• constantly speaking about grinding does not generate passive income. Humbled! 🙏
48
0
68
What would have been your Middle Ages job or occupation?. Mine: . Content creator! Or IT technician.
53
0
71
I made my first Dollar online and took a pic. A magical moment. Except: It's FAKE. Did you notice?. I'm holding Euros in my hand, not Dollars.
48
0
69
If you were looking for value and stumbled upon my account. Turn around and run. Run!.
34
0
72
Is this going to change my life?!. The man himself, Elon Musk, ordered one copywriting from me!. You see: Consistency is key, guys!. Proof:
36
2
73
Woke up to 1000 followers today! 🥲. This is insane! Thank you all so much! 💝. (I'm just manifesting.).
23
2
65
You know what's worse than crippling hunger, mental illnesses and even war?. Low testosterone!. Because low T kills the entreprenur inside of you!.
33
3
72
I'm here for two things: to shitpost and provide value. And I'm all out of value.
34
1
70
If I make it to 1100 followers, I will donate my socks to a sockless person. Holding myself accountable. 🙏.
42
0
70
It's Monday. You know what that means. A new week to turn your life around. A new week to chase after your dreams. And to achieve your goals!. So: how many motivational quotes are you planning to read this week?.
44
1
69
I drink my coffee. I smoke my cigarette. I cough and wake up the whole neighborhood. Life is good.
28
2
68
People on here often talk about their "why". My why: Making some money for a leg lengthening surgery. With 181.6 cm I am basically a manlet. Going to be 185 cm by the end of 2023. No excuses. 🙏.
43
3
72
I would never send you one of those lame "follow for follow" DMs. When I message you, it's about. • asking you for money or.• making fun of your NFT collection or.• talking about the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh (how funny the name is). Heads up!.
34
0
67
This was me 500 Million years ago. Pathetic, right?. • Low T.• Circle of weird prehistoric shellfish friends.• No drive, hiding in water. Today, I'm still not perfect, but I'm sure getting better. • High T.• Circle of ambitious friends (even accepting Serbs).• Legs. 🙏
39
0
66
On my self-improvement journey, I've decided I want to become more racist. Any advice how?.
70
2
64
I never post milestones. Never. Really. But right now, I have to. Because this is a sacred number in my culture. 888 followers.
28
1
65
This might surprise you:. The average entreprenur has 10 fingers and 10 toes. What's your excuse? 💪🏽.
46
0
68
I would never do business with tattooed people. They're full of prejudice and only care about the Satan.
62
2
67
Self-proclaimed Alpha males on Twitter are babbling about high-value women and how to find one. In reality, they wouldn't even know how to keep an inflatable rubber doll.
40
1
65
I know many of you have been waiting for a newsletter of mine. And finally, I can say:. I don't care, please find some other newsletters. I'm too lazy for that.
32
0
66
I was planning to take the day off, today. Thing is. you can't take a day off from being EPIC. Get it?. I kind of said I can't take the day off from being myself. Because I am epic. Got it?.
34
0
63
I just want to say one last thing before I go to bed:. Indian Twittersphere is the best!. Namasteyo 🙏.
27
1
61
Good morning! ☕. Some people hate Mondays. They look forward to the weekends. I'm different. I hate all the days equally. And yet, every morning I stand on my balcony and sing from the top of my lungs:. Aaaaaaah sivenjaaaa bababibidapaa!
15
3
60