Child Humor Profile
Child Humor

@childhumor

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A dose of humor for the exhausted parent

Austin, TX
Joined August 2010
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
A lot of growing up takes place between "It fell" and "I dropped it."
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Child rearing myth #1: Labour ends when the baby is born
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone to do it, or forbid your children from doing it
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Poverty is hereditary - you get it from your children
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Children are the most expensive form of entertainment
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
It's funny that those things your kids did that got on your nerves seem so cute when your grandchildren do them
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Lesson Learned... http://t.co/nRyWkPTp
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep.
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
The persons hardest to convince that they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime.
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
Kid Haircut Drama... http://t.co/SxPmb9ee
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
When I was a boy, my father was so ignorant. But when was 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years.
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn the operation of the DVD, yet are unable to understand the vacuum cleaner
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
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@childhumor
Child Humor
14 years
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
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