No, we don’t have any of the recalled Dr. Seuss books and why are you suddenly trying to buy them now that you found out they have racist imagery, you weirdos.
*Phone rings*
Me: Capitol Hill Books
Angry guy: Yeah, I don’t like what you’re doing w this stimulus bill.
Me: Sir, you’ve called a bookstore.
AG: This is Capitol Hill, isn’t it!!!
Me: Capitol Hill is a neighborhood.
AG: Well put me through to AOC!
Running a little behind because of the attempted coup in our neighborhood by a deranged fascist mob, but rest assured that we will get to your orders soon.
We are sad to share that Jim Toole, owner of Capitol Hill Books from 1995 - 2018, has passed away.
Jim, AKA The Admiral, was still an active employee of Capitol Hill Books & will be dearly missed. He was one of a kind.
Announcement: After 14 months of appointment only browsing, we will re-open to the general public on June 1st.
Thanks to everyone who helped us survive the past 14 months.
i like AOC quite a bit but new yorkers are absolutely insufferable about food. corner store breakfast sandwiches are fine! and you can find them everywhere!
Totally trust that no customer would lie about being vaccinated because we have learned no lessons from our years of experience dealing with the public.
No, it wasn’t just your imagination. The new
@cnn
commercial w
@jaketapper
you saw last night during the Final Four did feature a cameo of your local indie bookstore.
Us in 2016: Man, it’s so busy on weekends! Should we hire more ppl?
Us in 2021: Should we even try to sell books this weekend or will there be too many armed, virus-spreading fascists roaming the neighborhood?
@chayab77
True story: Limbaugh’s home town was the town next to mine and there was a small mural of him on the Mississippi River flood wall downtown. When I was a teenager we used to pee on it.
It’s fascinating that random ppl on twitter think we owe them a detailed explanation of how we arrived at our mask policy and think a small bookstore trying to protect staff is a “power grab.”
We’re still masking for now. If you’ve been to our store it should be clear why—pretty tight quarters and social distancing is sometimes impossible. Also, I’m immunocompromised, so try not to kill me, thanks.
In roughly 24hrs, we will re-open to the general public. We are both excited to sell you books and totally unprepared for the awkward social interactions that will inevitably ensue.
Customer: I’m looking for a book.
Us: Dope, we’ve got 50,000 of them.
Customer: Do you have Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen?
Us: No. I don’t think we carry that.
Customer: Why not?
Us: It didn’t make our top 50,000.
Warning: if you’re gonna be the dude who asks our booksellers w brown skin where they’re from and then act unsatisfied & keep pressing when they say Michigan, we cannot be responsible for what happens to you so my strong advice is to not be that dude.
If
#Nats
win the
#WorldSeries
tonight, will take 20% off all purchases tomorrow.
If they lose, we’ll only take 20% off copies of Bleak House by Dickens.
Some news!
Henceforth, these 4 full-time employees will no longer suffer under the yoke of management oppression (Aaron! and, ok, to a lesser extent me). We decided to make them co-owners of the bookstore. Capitol Hill Books now has 8 co-owners.
Some days we get depressed at the thought that we’ll never have time to read all the books in our store. Other days we’re just happy to have the extra insulation from the cold.
Limited time offer: If this gets 100k retweets by Friday, we’ll give everyone a 20% off their in-store purchase next weekend.
A cynical ploy? Perhaps. But frankly I don’t think you can do it anyway.
So much easier to read books quickly when you don’t have to stop to check Twitter every 15 minutes to make sure white supremacists aren’t invading the neighborhood.
I really cannot overstate how much easier it is to sell books when the store is open to the public. This is so easy compared to prior 14 months. We just unlock the door. That’s it. Almost feels like cheating.
Ppl think owning a used bookstore is all sex, drugs & rock n roll, but it’s mainly about telling customers the prices are all listed on the inside cover of the books over & over & over until you forget your own name.
Kinda miss the old days when we had like 2k followers and could say whatever without a bunch of ppl taking us too seriously so if you’re on the fence about unfollowing go ahead and pull the trigger.
Friday reminder: If you go home with somebody this weekend and they don’t have any books at their place do not sleep with them…🚩🚩🚩…unless they are really, really hot.
Sometimes I’m like “aw man, this shirt is too rumpled. I can’t wear this to work.” But then I remember I work at a used bookstore and this is what I’m supposed to look like.