The Chaser
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Pinned Tweet
As Scott Morrison enters the private sector, he will need to learn how to talk like a 'business wanker', as opposed to his natural 'regular wanker' talk.
Luckily he can learn from the best by going to the Wankernomics 2.0: "As Per My Last Email" tour!
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Elon has blocked verified accounts from changing their names...
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Dunno what you're all worried about, it's not like there could be any downsides to verifying any old account
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‘Stop calling it Twitter’ says guy who deadnames his own child
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BREAKING: Rupert Murdoch has lost the Australian Federal Election
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Afraid you'll need to be a bit more specific if you're gonna ask us to delete the post making fun of TERFs
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Grace Tame to be given Australian of the Year for second year after perfectly summing up national mood
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Bored, lets see if we can get this picture of the PM to be the most liked tweet in Australia
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"Lattes won't solve climate change" says man who thinks milkshakes will solve sexual assault
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NSW to receive $700m disaster relief package after Victoria hit by earthquake
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“Social media should not fact check posts” says child molester Mark Zuckerberg
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Slowly inching out our biggest competitor in the fake news space
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"You can't make everything free" explains guy who gets free flights, car, accommodation, food, internet, phone...
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Women overjoyed at news that government decided not to shoot them
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The year started with a mouse plague and ended in a rat shortage
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Government that ruined everyone's life by locking down too late announce brilliant plan to open up too early
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"We have been silenced" says media organisation that owns 81 newspapers, 21 magazines, 45 TV stations, a cable monopoly, and 8 major news websites, after their YouTube is given a 7 day suspension
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As the UK's health minister gets stood down for cheating on his wife, Australian politicians express confusion why they didn't just promote him to deputy PM
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Federal government confused why politician would resign over corruption
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"Dan Andrews is a dictator" says political party sending anti-terror teams to arrest YouTubers
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Seeing as we're the only news site left we figure we might as well start unveiling corruption on a mass scale
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Scott Morrison declares public can "choose to stay home" if they're afraid of Covid, in latest sign he still hasn't grasped the concept of having to turn up to work
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Nation with no food thankful government spent crucial weeks focused on making it legal to fire gay people
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Government ensures low income earners don't have to choose between buying rapid test or groceries by ensuring nobody can buy either
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Minister who accepted anonymous million dollar donation never got around to setting up a Federal ICAC for some reason
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Australians watching Texas situation unfold very glad they don't have any leaders who would fly away on holiday during a natural disaster
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Guy who stepped down over a bottle of wine feeling pretty stupid right now
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Morrison explains Sydney needed Covid relief more than Melbourne because Melbourne doesn't vote for him
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As Barnaby Joyce has a rental income scandal, causes a Covid scare in parliament, goes on the record saying he doesn't give a shit about Melbourne, and gets fined by police all within a week of becoming deputy PM, colleagues begin to suspect they may have fucked up.
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Local Australian who hasn't seen their family in two years glad the government prioritised flying in a white supremacist for Celebrity Big Brother
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Heartwarming: This 10 year old government suddenly discovered housing is unaffordable just 6 days before the election
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Scott Morrison's secret government appointments were not illegal, declares Governor General Scott Morrison
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Parents name new-born twins “Corruption” and “Climate Change” to stop Scott Morrison from tackling them before 2050
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Indigenous group apologise after accidentally blowing up Rio Tinto’s headquarters
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Decided to drop by St Mary's cathedral to pay our lack of respects
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The Navy have deployed Australia's most deadly ship to the Russian border, with the Ruby Princess expected to arrive within hours
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Nation braces for next natural disaster after Scott Morrison goes on vacation
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Flood stricken areas to change name to 'Harvey Norman' in hopes of getting some money from the government
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Liberal party 2016: "Same sex marriage will lead to people marrying inanimate objects"
Liberal party 2021: "I did not have sexual relations with that coffee table"
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We know you're all waiting for our take on Victoria's lockdown, but we're from NSW so it takes us an extra 3 weeks to respond to any Covid developments
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A lot of politicians have denounced the Uluru climbing ban, so we decided to pay a visit to a church in Canberra to see how the politicians like people climbing on their sacred places
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Traffic laws abolished in NSW as residents are encouraged to show personal responsibility instead
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Australia: We have the worst Prime Minister
Britain, whose Prime Minister has launched an investigation into himself to find out if he attended a party at his own house: Challenge accepted
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Terrified Manly Sea Eagles flee field after light rain produces nearby rainbow
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After running out of foreign governments to overthrow, America forced to topple own government for a change
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It's 1st of December, which means it's that time of the year when we all gather together to remember that time Scott Morrison fucked off to Hawaii while the country was on fire
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"Trans people are a threat to children's sport" claims man who decked child in non contact sport
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BREAKING: ScoMo moved from emergency exit row seat after refusing to assist in event of disaster
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NSW Health announces they will now just be counting the people who don't have Covid to save time
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"Dan Andrews is a dictator" claims newspaper that's spent the last decade defending Australia's concentration camps
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Nation on 3rd straight year of disasters starting to suspect scientists may be on to something
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"Insults are like water off a duck's back to me" says man who sued a guy over a mean tweet
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"There was no way to predict Delta would be this bad" says government that apparently banned Indian travel just for fun
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Harvey Norman's been having a bit of a rough week so we sent the Surprise Spruiker to help them out
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Morrison announces the government will not be providing any support for victims of Cyclone Seth, in order to avoid undercutting Harvey Norman's umbrella sales
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Bruce Lehrmann achieves goal of losing title of ‘alleged rapist’
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Australian government to extradite American pigeon over fears it was planning a coo
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If you fail at 50% of your university classes you will lose your government support but if you fail at every job you've ever worked the government will pay you to be Prime Minister
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Would be a real shame if we managed to get more followers than Elon Musk in just 1 day
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Scott Morrison is refusing to vacate his house, so we sent along a real estate agent to sort him out
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Pauline Hanson quits parliament after hearing it will be run by a minority
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"Albo has a glass jaw," says federal minister who sued a guy over a mean tweet
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As Sydney deploy mass army and police presence to the streets, residents just thank their lucky stars they're not suffering under the tyrannical reign of that Dictator Dan
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Country which made miscarriages a jailable offence pledges to save Australia from tyrannical government
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Morrison explains the government shouldn't use your tax dollars to pay for rapid tests when that money could be going to Rupert Murdoch
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Nation starting to suspect there might be a few reasons why Liberal Party so resistant to an ICAC
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"Nobody could have predicted this" declares NSW government for the third time
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“No one could have predicted this” says government warned about this in 1988, 1993, 1998, 2001, 2004, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019
#AustralianBushfire
#bushfireaustralia
#melbournesmoke
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Following backlash Scott Morrison reveals he is also part of the disability community - "I was born without a heart"
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Morrison horrified after learning personal responsibility applies to him too
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"I'm not going to take a vaccine that might damage my health" says tradie who had pie & ciggie for breakfast
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Liberal party press conference forced to relocate after realising they're within 500 metres of a school
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"Can't you see we're living in a dictatorship!" say protestors that want to overthrow democratically elected government and replace it with one of their choosing
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"How did this result happen and how did the debate get so toxic?" asks nation's media that kept uncritically repeating Dutton's racist lies
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Trump said he doesn't want people with co-morbidities counted as COVID deaths, so doctors have agreed if he passes away the cause of death will be listed as bone spurs.
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Country thankful government that could have been building quarantine venues and vaccine infrastructure decided to spent last week focused on making it legal to fire gay people
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It seems our jokes were so offensive that every news site in the country has felt the need to download them from our instagram and republish the whole list on their own websites for a profit
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Party that threatened to shoot all women wonders why women didn't vote for it
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Barnaby to be put on cashless debit card after turning up to work drunk while on government benefits
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