personally i will be blaming all my terrible behavior on the moon and she can blame hers on me

i need to fuck a man with a stupid little mustache or a tall blonde woman who doesn’t care about me at all

i refuse to be competitive!!! i will simply quit

alert there is a bear in a vest in the dive bar wait nvm he is wearing an extremely skin colored sweater under the vest that is making him look very hairy false alarm everyone sorry

in the club. straight up "getting jiggy wit it". and by "it", haha, well. let's just say. Willard Carroll Smith II

she's just like me fr

i never gave an update but a lil dry humping did, in fact, ruin the friendship

just caught a flare of jealousy so hot that it might consume me

ohhhhhhhhhhhh duh

hmu if you want me to open your beer with my lighter or or poke at the fire for mysterious reasons

i was so good at being everyone’s boyfriend last night

im doing fine emotionally but also i mean i downloaded a match 3 game just to feel something

lesbians get more horrific, get more horny, get more bloody and scary and terror filled and perverted. Thank you!

y’all ever played flipcock

success

i really wish aim away messages were still a thing

dive bar update: the new paint in the bathroom (hideous) is perfect peeling consistency

i need one last little sunburn on the tops of my thighs before the chill sets in

princess treatment is when i get beheaded (head so good i fucking die)

anyway can i