Speaking things into existence is real - it simply involves telling someone with power exactly what you want.

Christmas rule #223: Regifting is totally fine as long as you acknowledge that it is a regift.

Listened to the lyrics of Don Henley's "The End of the Innocence" today and - at this age, in this moment in history - it just hit different. #InMyFeels

Yukon Cornelius is my ideal man.

If I send this to you, just know I’m doing what’s best for me.

This Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade feels like a millennial fever dream.

Instead of putting up a tree this year, I might just do a holiday @Glade plug-in.

This music video was so brilliantly executed.

I think I'm going to change my handle soon. Send me your best suggestions.

Reality show I'd watch: All the coaches fired this year in a Buffalo Wild Wings, mic'd up and watching games live.

"Only 23 more years of this," I tell myself midway through another hour-long evening commute.

Hate when I blow a kiss and the recipient doesn’t catch it . unwhimsical bitch

That Clement slide was giving Dottie Hinson. #WorldSeries

And now, it's officially hygge season.

3-4-5 TOMMY EDMAN MAKES AN UNREAL PLAY! #WORLDSERIES

I need to go to bed, but this game is just sksksksks. #WorldSeries

I guess I'm a @SFGiants fan now.

If you ever need a team to lose, just let me know who they are, and I will root for them. #WorksLikeACharm