โ๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ โ๏ธ |
@c0ll4rr
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โญ*โขฬฉฬฉอโฑโขโขโขโขโฉโขโขโขโขฬฉฬฉอโฐโข*โญ 19 เฟ they/she
5'4" || โข || ed vent
Joined December 2019
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tw bodycheck !!
saying goodbye to this bod aa idk how to feel
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this is so crazy, such hard work. W for him.
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when they have to use a childs cuff to take your blood pressure ๐
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tw bodycheck edtwt
mom just took this pic of me and iโm kinda liking my legs
also guys what bmi do i look like ?? ๐ตโ๐ซ๐ตโ๐ซ
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u guys consider this skinny? b so f honest
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am i crazy or barb1e ferre1ra has lost weight?
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decided iโm going to try little by little to recover, my ed has taken away so much things from me. i want to experience life & have friends and do normal teen stuff, i really want to stop worrying and doing things that are just going to make me miserable in the long run
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ห๏ฝกโ morning
+ sucking in vs not lol
body check edtwt
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tw bodycheck
i love that little bone in my shoulder :,))
edtwt
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bmi 9 rn and they want to get me to bmi 14โฆi want to cry so bad
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-bodycheck
life falling apart but thigh gap ๐
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call me worst anorexic but some of the meals here in hospital are good ๐ซฃ๐ซฃ would yโall like to see some of them ??
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the cals on olive oil donโt even make sense
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seriously thinking about recovering this time wtf i canโt keep living like this, iโm throwing my whole life away and for what
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nothing feels better than following your planned meals and ending up perfectly restricting at the end of the day โก
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when i first got here i seriously had zero strength on my legs and body overall, standing and walking were so hard for me. itโs been like 2 days but the energy iโm gaining from food is insane omg, it actually feels really nice :)
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just straight up collapsed in the side walk and my whole fam saw me, it scared me so much my legs literally stopped working wtf </33
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@Desiree7ed
sending u all my support, pls ik itโs hard and you canโt truly see rn in how much danger u are, but ask for help :)) your bod needs it rn and if you want to finish ur semesters and not get left behind itโs the best choice. ik u can do this !! uโll feel so much better TRUST <3
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my mom is so disgusted and uncomfortable with my body it hurts, she makes me more insecure i just want to hide in hoodies and sweats now
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at the hospital again, just got told iโm getting admitted
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little vs haul ๊ฐแโกเป๊ฑ
so excited to try these
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realized i never showed my birthday cake on here & it was the prettiest thing ever.
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tw // body check
.๏ฝกโ
*โโ*โ*๏ฝก*โ*โโ*โ
๏ฝก.
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omg what the fuck i remember seeing desiree7ed from time to time. so sad how anorex!a really won here, this goes to show how real this illness can get & how wrong itโs to romanticize it :/ rip angel <3
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restricting on your birthday bc the grind never stops ye ye
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very scared to be ip but i honestly know it was needed already, i donโt want to feel weak anymore and as bad as it soundsโฆ i can always go back to my ed outside of here.
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def too late i can feel my body shutting down + iโm so scared of telling my fam iโm faking recov rn
seriously thinking about recovering this time wtf i canโt keep living like this, iโm throwing my whole life away and for what
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some meals iโve ate in recovery :)) ๐ซฃ (ongoing thread)
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i got put on antidepressants and itโs making recovery so easy !! the disordered thoughts are almost completely gone, it feels so much diff
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new lw & having mix emotions,, i feel like death tbh
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seeing my classmates relationship w food being totally free and normal really makes me think of how dumb i used to think
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my pumpkin this halloween turned out extremely cute!
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why is my sister getting skinnier while iโm supposed to be gaining weightโฆ she just sent me some pics of her and i can see her ribs and shoulder bones aaa so mf triggering :// idk if i should tell her bc i feel like sheโs not responsible for my triggers and this is on me
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collarbones looked pretty cute today (เนโขแดโขเน)
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i just got back home to my room being raided by my mom, she took my scale, vapes, food i was hiding, empty alc bottlesโฆ how does she expect me to trust her now?? i have no fucking privacy
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guys i just got a kitten !! sheโs the cutest โก
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who wouldโve thought i wanted to look extremely malnourished not too long ago now this is my goal
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not saying iโm relapsing rn but i can def use myself as bonespo if i do in the future
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little side note: yeah i was basically forced into ip recov but i wasnโt planning on actually committing to it when i get sent home, the difference now is my mindset
decided iโm going to try little by little to recover, my ed has taken away so much things from me. i want to experience life & have friends and do normal teen stuff, i really want to stop worrying and doing things that are just going to make me miserable in the long run
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my body was so nice before ed, body dismorphia is a bitch. i regret it all a thousand percent
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they want you to recover by eating dog food?? yum
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THIS WORKS WONDERS, YESTERDAY I TOOK 1 OF THESE AND IVE SHITTED 3 TIMES ALREADY TODAY! HIGHLY RECOMMEND
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no bcs remembering how i would go nuts for the littlest amount of cals, how it could easily ruin my day & now iโm consuming triple that amount without going in a spiral. recovery is hella worth it.
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edโs really make you the best liar, my family thinks iโm actually trying to recover :/
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made tofu stuffed bell pepper that doesnโt taste like anorexia and only 90cals!!
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just had pasta and it was DRENCHED in olive oil + it tasted horrible
istg i feel the fat forming in me
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being physically weak is def on the top 5 worst feelings list
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now that iโm a healthy weight my parents donโt care no more, i was going to make myself dinner & my stepdad went โdonโt come here now after i just finished cleaning the kitchenโ and i was like โok then i wonโt eat idcโ and i left & he was like โok then donโtโ so nonchalant.
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u can literally eat whatever the fuck u want, the key is moderation & portion control
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having to take breaks on steps bc you feel like youโll pass out yay! love being underweight
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getting the ng tube in a bit ffs i never get a break
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this just resurfaced, iโm crushed. rip little angel </3
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i cried sm to the doc yesterday to see if i could avoid the tube and have 1 more chance of not fucking up w the meal plan but nope since i apparently lost weight </3
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youโre telling me food freedom exists? i can have whatever i want for breakfast and not choose the one that tastes like ass just bc itโs the lowest cal opt
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my mom always does the most, now iโm not allowed to go to the supermarket + she took the scale out of her bathroom mf howโs that gon help
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merry late xmas my loves! pretty girls choose recovery <3
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scrolling thru edtwt in public at high brightness ๐คช๐คช
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shopping in a bit!! kinda like my legs in these lol โก โก
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am i edtwt skinny or irl skinny? (first one is normal & 2nd is sucking in) ๐ค
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going to start making food logs from now on since iโm always taking pics of my meals,,
12/28/21
เผ
544cals
เผ
-243 net
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knowing what u do itโs not worth it, but somehow not being able to stop ugh
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ladies & gentsโฆ my stepdadโs lunch. heโs definitely on edtwt
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my hairโs falling out much more rn than when i was starvingโฆ it donโt make sense
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