gaz
@burnagedaydream
Followers
2,082
Following
287
Media
2,767
Statuses
56,955
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Merchan
• 334492 Tweets
Zócalo
• 117857 Tweets
超・獣神祭
• 70155 Tweets
Conference League
• 56311 Tweets
Bernabéu
• 53643 Tweets
PITANDA NO PODDELAS
• 37764 Tweets
Ley Bases
• 33127 Tweets
gremio
• 32533 Tweets
#OlympiacosFC
• 31992 Tweets
Mother Teresa
• 28972 Tweets
ナイトウェア
• 26668 Tweets
Eruviel
• 26382 Tweets
$DAVIDO
• 25697 Tweets
あなたの悪夢
• 25412 Tweets
#ナイトメアの悪夢で遊ばナイト
• 22550 Tweets
Italiano
• 18431 Tweets
Mendilibar
• 17861 Tweets
El Kaabi
• 15891 Tweets
Jerry Seinfeld
• 13213 Tweets
Shannon Bream
• 10812 Tweets
We regret to inform you that this man will now be cleaning Bayern Munich’s windows from next season.
61
5K
39K
Your mum’s taxi has arrived
Foundry truck for moving hot slag/molten metal
53
106
799
42
589
13K
Singing words of wisdom. Let it be.
Last time I was at Craven Cottage, Nicky Weaver waved to me.
11
1
58
55
827
11K
This is in Whitechapel. How long has to pass until you can open up Harold Chipman’s in Hyde?
85
258
5K
“Is he bald”
“Yes”
* clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack*
31
571
4K
only 90 appearances! Has anyone achieved more of a Barclays legacy per game
=2195. Jimmy BULLARD
Midfielder - 23.10.78 - ENG
Prem Debut:
14/08/2005 (WIGAN ATHLETIC vs. Chelsea, L 1-0)
Prem Clubs:
West Ham United (99-01), Wigan Athletic (05-06), Fulham (06-09), Hull City (09-10)
Prem Apps: 90
Prem Goals: 15
5
2
279
13
36
4K
24
69
3K
Any club chairman with a management vacancy
2
53
3K
taking my mum to a Michael McIntyre show
Klopp asked to comment on the game:
"For you it is funny. For me it is just expensive."
98
3K
24K
1
133
2K
I just manage a football team mate the real managers of the month are those who are only just about managing every month
Ange Postecoglou has been named the PL Manager of the Month again — also for September ⚪️✨
#THFC
Back-to-back awards.
1K
5K
88K
5
45
2K
We’ll cause the biggest fuss you’ve ever known about wearing a poppy on the kit, we’ll also cancel every game from PL to U7s at 2 day’s notice because a rich person died. Not sure about showing solidarity to gay people that would mean the centre forward getting booked.
4
395
2K
Hope Andy Robertson takes this time out to reflect on what a wanker he is
19
126
2K
I’m in the “he actually is brilliant” camp but what a shite career.
🚨 Neymar undergoing medical as we speak ahead of completing proposed transfer to Al Hilal. 31yo Brazil international forward making permanent move from Paris Saint-Germain on 2yr contract, no option to extend. W/
@AdamCrafton_
@TheAthleticFC
#AlHilal
#PSG
827
3K
20K
8
35
2K
Big fan of how Everton’s protest banners properly go for everyone. They’re like STEVEN BURROWS - TIME TO GO and he’s like the deputy head of the IT department or something.
10
129
1K
Play the FA Cup final from 11:59:47 PM on New Year’s Eve and begin the new year with Gundogan scoring.
7
162
1K
My dad has incurable cancer and I’ve not been able to see him for six weeks. My 6 year old son diligently counts every time he washes his hands and keeps two metres apart from anyone he sees on our daily excursions. Allison’s mates can’t sit in their fucking gardens.
Two friends have told me they are unilaterally leaving lockdown today. They are furious with the Government.
5K
336
2K
14
129
1K
Still can’t imagine anything better than Raheem taking a knee during GSTQ.
11
207
954
Me (crying): You can’t keep ranking racial groups by their cultural output!
Mick Hucknall (pointing at an aborigine): Eighth.
7
116
890
Watched that Aguero goal 10,000 times and still get choked up. Terrified that one day he’ll miss it.
16
34
834
Just had one of those terrible moments of clarity where you realise that all of this football fandom is complete nonsense isn’t it. What on earth are we all doing.
42
100
726
Messi signing for City, and Stockport out of local lockdown measures. There’s someone in a kappa coat holding a lamp with one wish left.
12
112
742
Charli and all of her friends go into a state school for the first time in their lives
0
29
741
It’s not a Man City team of the decade unless you bring De Jong on after an hour and push Yaya forward.
7
37
634
I like the idea that we’re “practically back to normal now anyway” when your phone could ping at any moment and tell you to stay indoors for a fortnight because you stood behind some lad in Greggs who squirted some lemon juice onto an LFT to get out of a maths test.
3
91
648
4 minutes added on. Player booked for time wasting in added time. Blows up at 94:03. So they’ve officially given up on that haven’t they.
11
36
597
Manage Wolves
0
14
537
The reason why coronavirus discourse is absolutely melting minds is that it demands that you have to start balancing legitimate interests; where we’ve gotten used to balancing reasonable interests vs absolutely terrible interests and a lot of people can’t make that transition.
8
76
513
Patrick Bamford and Trent Alexander-Arnold’s parents didn’t pay £10,000 a term for this.
4
29
510
You’d all end up in a food warehouse singing along to an acoustic guitar.
5
79
488
Get your Bournemouth player name by picking from one of the ten most common first names and putting it with one of the most common surnames
10
155
494
Thought the atmosphere was really good yesterday but turns out there weren’t a load of plastics stood watching a bus pull up two hours before so what do I know
10
14
506
They should do this like a gender reveal. Pop a balloon and either Amstel or Carabao comes out of it.
1
59
474
Farewell Steven Gerrard. Thank you for turning the teams around after winning the toss that time so I got to see those three goals in five minutes at my end of the ground.
7
48
469
He did exactly this to Fernandinho in the CL QF (before going off injured himself trying to hurt Delph). It’s ridiculously dangerous.
11
48
445
Manusplaining = when you're pleased your team did something but a United fan turns up saying it's not as good as something they once did.
12
241
430
First World Cup final where I’m older than all he players and - to rub it in - one of the countries.
4
68
444
Feel like i’m living in an alternate universe where City’s opponents didn’t have an £80m goalkeeper and a £100m centre forward at weekend. Plus all the rest.
9
38
440
If Southampton get something on Tuesday I will personally allow Matt Le Tissier to make any decision with regards to what medical treatment my family or I have for ever.
3
8
441
@jpcancelo27
They already have? This is a very odd take but you obviously have some axe to grind so crack on.
0
0
376
Pep just isn’t going to see the value in the loan system until he has an incompetent son coaching in the lower leagues to prop up and demand that everyone gets sent back when he gets sacked.
9
23
365
Big shock this. PSG looked bang in form after that 7-0 drubbing of F.C. Ratatouille at weekend.
0
72
367
One run for the defender and another one for you. Can tell this lad has had some proper coaching.
A property developer turned drug dealer who made £320k from crime sprinted away from questions after leaving Cardiff Crown Court.
He was ordered to pay back £52k after the court heard his ill-gotten gains had largely been spent on a lavish lifestyle.
314
399
3K
6
19
358
Get a statue up.
215
674
13K
2
14
337
They’re all hospitality tickets and he’s spent £35 on a membership to get this far on the ticketing site the sad wanker.
Buy now, buy now, buy now!
World's Most Valuable Club my arse!
170
77
824
7
17
332
Europa League anthem should just be the Champions League one played out of tune.
9
117
304
Right. Get Alfie Haaland’s mutant son in a light blue shirt immediately.
4
7
320
If Pep carries on like this for another 15 years he’s going to end up with a European Cup record like Ferguson’s.
4
97
306
Don Revie spinning round in his grave could probably provide enough energy to power the whole of West Yorkshire at the moment
1
9
316
Plan B was a funny one wasn’t it. Streets-sequels slice of life spoken word type thing. Then an absolutely enormous blue eyed soul record. Then nothing.
16
10
309
MESSI, XAVI, INIESTA, HENRY, LEWANDOWSKI, ROBBEN, AGUERO, DE BRUYNE, SILVA: “Pep’s a genius. One of the absolute greatest”.
YOU, EGG ON YOUR SHIRT, SHOELACES UNTIED: “wHy DoES hE NoT wIN aBsOluTeLy EveRYthInG THeN hE neEDs tO Go AnD mAnaGe GrimSbY tO ProVe HiMsElf”.
4
31
292
MAN WHO CAN ONLY SEE THE WORLD THROUGH THE PRISM OF A SUPPOSED MEDIA AGENDA AGAINST HIS FOOTBALL CLUB, WATCHING AN ARMED INVASION UNFOLD IN ANOTHER COUNTRY:
“getting a lot of anti-City media agenda vibes from this”
4
28
298
Just gave my name in Starbucks as “the modern game has left Mourinho behind” and Daniel Harris parachuted in through the window to point out that Pep inherited Silva, Aguero and De Bruyne.
5
30
279
Needs to score 137 before March 2019 or the title goes to Alan Shearer.
And very proud to have become the top non-EU goalscorer in the PL. My thanks go to the club and teammates for making it possible!
208
2K
9K
4
112
279
Wee guys - let’s get behind the team
Shaggers - sack the manager and the board
2
48
261
It’s easy to underestimate how much of an impact City, the spenders of the 18th biggest transfer fee of all time, have had on the finances across all of football.
6
43
281
Replies and quotes to this are already ramping up towards it from all the usual suspects and before lunch we’re going to the consensus of “fly tipping is actually class, a genuine part of working class culture” as it does with all of this stuff.
Labour will punish fly-tippers by making them clean up the mess they made.
2K
286
2K
21
24
285
You absolutely have to be kidding me.
5
22
282
“Grow your revenues”
~ScouseCommie
Big fan of the Villa and Saudi Toon fans in the quotes here saying it’s being brought in to stop them from competing, ignoring:
(a) You can spend more if you’re not in UEFA comps
(b) You can spend more if you grow your revenues
(c) This is based on you already having spent £200m
4
0
19
1
28
282
Every time you play Burnley and ask why they were booing Sterling all game you get all these walking slabs of carbohydrate in woolly hats on here insisting that it’s because he appealed for a throw in in the third minute or something.
4
41
256
No way is that lad Spanish. Sergy O’Gomez more like.
Excl: Sergio Gómez to Manchester City, here we go! Verbal agreement reached with Anderlecht. Fee will be more than €10m, closer to €15m - to be signed soon. 🚨🔵
#MCFC
Sergio has good chances to be part of City team - otherwise, he will be loaned out to La Liga side Girona.
1K
5K
62K
6
10
258
Hell is a Shakhtar Donetsk vs City match which never ends. It’s 18,427 goals to nil and rising. Raheem Sterling is crying after another hat trick. Foden on the bench.
4
19
254
“Marc Cucurella” was a social experiment to see if football fans could begin demanding that their club spends £50m on a player we made up two months ago. Thank you for your participation.
3
17
239
Should have kept his arms by his side like Rodri in the same fixture 2 years ago.
7
16
242
Marcus Rashford’s fed more hungry Mancunians than any sheikh during this crisis and I really hope that gets remembered when we’re all in the same stadium again.
23
29
226
Can’t wait until all these casual football fans clear off with their daft ideas and we can all crack on with the conspiracies which are targeted at our specific clubs.
0
18
224
That’s that then. Manchester City win with one big trophy and one small one. There should be an honourable mention to Chelsea. Everyone else: absolutely nothing. See you next year again for The Football.
4
49
209
Acting like the domestic cups were beneath you on the basis of a couple of good seasons looks a bit like hubris now doesn’t it.
0
18
218
Distinctly remember people who thought it was a good idea to cancel games around the queen’s death that we could “sort it all out later”. It’s now later. Our games with Spurs and Arsenal haven’t gone back in yet either after two months.
Manchester United failing to win their UEL group presents a bit of an issue for the Premier League, as there is now no natural space in the calendar to rearrange their games against Crystal Palace and Leeds United.
Every single weekend and midweek is already accounted for.
#MUFC
373
752
5K
3
27
220
Listening to nerds complaining about being asked to do some exercise 20 years later
1
27
210
Ian Rush at the cinema with a ghost
1
23
201
Australian United fan using images from: game against a championship side, 5 seconds into a game, the away end during the actual line ups and rather perfectly: the away end during the derby.
3
7
215
Mbappe there scores at the end the PSG fans are at, runs away from them towards a camera and does his emote thing, then another bit of choreography, then does a little wave at the fans as he’s walking back to his own half. It’s very odd isn’t it.
6
7
214
Nobody will be able to give you a reason why this is happening besides some vague nonsense. We’re also all on work tomorrow but we can’t possibly enjoy ourselves as planned the day after.
2
22
202
@SamLee
HOW IT ENDED: Ruben Dias is playing left wing in the champions league quarter final.
4
0
198
Literally the least important game we’ve played all season four days before the most important and we’ve gone and done this.
4
31
194
Just ridiculous that in Bernardo a genuine £100m player has been available for about half price for the last few years and nobody has gone for him
8
4
198
Spoke to someone once who did security at City and they reckoned that Take That was worse than any football match they’ve ever done.
having now seen robbie williams live 3 times i can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that the most antisocial (compliment) demographic in british society is 45-60 year old white women. pints of wine, streaming everything on facebook live, barefoot by 11PM. fully ungovernable.
7
28
902
8
2
194
I know it’s bollocks but if we beat Villa we should hand Gerrard a big charity cheque with it on
4
8
185