Chris Brenek
@brenek_c
Followers
2K
Following
35K
Media
143
Statuses
7K
Yeah, I wish somehow I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.
San Angelo, TX
Joined August 2019
A local woman is under scrutiny for divorcing her husband just for being crosseyed. When asked to comment, the woman said, “Well, he was always seeing someone on the side…”.
1
0
4
A man was recently arrested for driving down Route 27 on an elephant. The charge…trunk driving….
0
0
4
A man has been arrested at the local swimming pool for peeing in the deep end. When asked to comment, local officials said, “He could have at least got in first…”.
0
0
2
A local man has retired from his job of 48 years of fastening pieces of metal together. When asked to describe his career, the worker said, “It was riveting…”.
0
0
1
There is currently a nationwide obsession with glass coffins. When asked if this trend will continue, a local mortician said, “It remains to be seen…”.
0
0
1
The state’s oldest bus driver died peacefully in his sleep yesterday. The same could not be said for the passengers on board….
0
0
0
A local mechanic recently set a record by installing 22 mifflers in one hour. When asked to comment, the mechanic said the event was “exhausting…”.
0
0
2
Walmart has recalled frozen shrimp because it may be radioactive. This has not affected customers who continue to give it glowing reviews….
0
0
1
The local arena”s Zamboni driver has not been seen since the conclusion of hockey aeason. A spokesman for the hockey team stated, “Don’t worry…he’ll resurface…”.
0
0
1
A chicken recently laid the smallest egg on record. When asked to comment, a local chef said, “That’ll be hard to beat…”.
0
0
0
A group of local scientists have invented the world’s strongest suction cup. No one is quite sure how they paid it off….
0
0
6
In local news, a husband recently handed his wife a glue stick when she asked for Chap Stick. At last report, she still was not speaking to him….
0
0
5
A local author has written a book on reverse psychiatry. In a recent interview, he said, “Don’t buy it.”.
0
0
3
A recent study reports that Americans are using more foreign language, like Hors d'oeuvre… and that’s just for starters….
0
0
3
In tragic news, the grief counselor at the local high school has died. Luckily, he was so good at his job that no one cared….
0
0
2
A petition for divorce was filed by a local couple because the wife stated the husband is too involved with sports. When asked how long they were married, the husband said, “seven seasons.”.
0
0
0
The iconic rock band AC/DC will not be performing at the electricians convention. The delegates wanted something more current….
0
0
0
A retro camera class at the local university is closing. The reason: The students weren’t able to focus….
0
0
0