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don’t chew with ur mouth open / @brainnotgood
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Pinned Tweet
“ur so quiet” thanks my brain is broken and i have no thoughts
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normalize shutting the fuck up when u don’t know what ur talking about
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“high school sweethearts?” u mean u took each other’s virginity and stupidly went to the same college together so now u feel stuck and ur so terrified of change that you’ll never break up even though the love has been gone for years
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no i don’t struggle with depression it actually comes very easy to me
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a girl in this coffee shop is just scrolling her phone laughing out loud nonstop. i can’t even imagine being that happy. all i know is pain
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ur not “heartbroken” ur sad bc u let yourself get attached to someone who uses snapchat as their only form of communication and they haven’t replied in 6 hours
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me on the way to the first day of class trying to think of 3 fun facts about myself
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22, switched majors 5 times, can’t drink without blacking out, went to wendy’s for a 4 for 4 and my card got declined. what have you done 😎
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sorry i didn’t text u back i just had the overwhelming feeling that nobody actually likes me and u were only talking to me bc u felt bad so i didn’t want to burden u with my existence
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caffeine doesn’t do it anymore i need someone to text me “we need to talk”
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she’s not gonna text u back she got a weighted blanket for christmas which doesn’t talk and doesn’t try to have sex with her 10 minutes into watching a movie
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twitter is crazy because i can tweet “i hope ***** ****” and everyone knows exactly what it says
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girls on tinder will say “your parents will love me but your neighbors won’t” like what are you gonna do? start mowing at 7am on a saturday??
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imagine being horny enough to go sit in the woods with a guy at 5am in 20° weather and watch him try to shoot an animal
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all of my tattoos have a very deep meaning they mean i was manic for a few days and got a tattoo
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girls be like “ugh i hate him so much he’s horrible at communicating and isn’t nice and can’t even manage to do the bare minimum but yeah we’re hanging out tonight when he gets back from the bar”
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the bar is so low nowadays my girlfriend thanked me for “being nice” to her. so if ur single at this point ur probably just ugly
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me to literally anyone: your feelings are valid you should talk about them even if something seems dumb/pointless to you i’m sure the other person will understand
me to me: don’t talk about your feelings idiot no one cares
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girls are like “yeah he ruined my life and self-esteem and made me feel like everything was my fault the whole time we were together but blocking him is kinda rude i feel bad”
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ur checking their snap score while they aren’t texting u back and i’m sending them 200 snapchats in an hour so you’ll fight about it and break up
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ur sending them a 3 paragraph goodnight text about how much they mean to u and they’re comparing hand sizes with someone they just met at a party 45 minutes ago. do better
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imagine being a girl and having to keep an extra pair of underwear in ur car just in case some dude revs his truck up at the stop light
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call me old-fashioned, but dating in our generation sucks. i miss the days when girls weren’t talking to 10 guys at once, but instead were forced into arranged marriages at 14 years old and would be publicly killed by their own family if they refused
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marrying ur partner from sophomore year of high school is great and all but it’s also like saying chicken nuggets are ur favorite food even though chicken nuggets are the only thing you’ve ever ate
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ur in her DMs i’m in her instagram archive we are not the same. i am in unimaginable pain i miss her so much
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i always kiss my girl goodnight after hanging out w the homies
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everyone making it such a big deal that coronavirus is controlling their life for a couple weeks when they let their ex control everything they did for two years
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just ready to find the person i can sleep with facing away from each other with our butts touching every night for the rest of my life
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if ur crying over a dude you’ve been snapchatting for two months but he still won’t give you his number u kinda deserve it
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people have one baby and revolve their whole life around it. you’ve known that thing for like a month grow up
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not all men are the same i would emotionally manipulate u so much better than ur ex
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i once dated a sorority girl and every conversation went exactly like this
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if i’ve ever been blackout drunk in front of you just know it was a joke i was kidding
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becoming older than 12 years old was the biggest mistake of my life
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just wanna join a sorority so i can have 30 ppl comment on my insta posts telling me i’m hot
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ur mcm just texted his boys “what’s the move tonight?” they’re going to brad’s apartment to drink seltzers before going out to a bar & buying shots for girls that are completely uninterested. after failing to get a girl at the bar he’s gonna text u “u up?” at 1:30am. ur gonna go
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imagine it’s ur first night living with ur boyfriend after 3 years of dating. u sit down on the couch after a long day of moving and unpacking everything and he turns on pawn stars
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my therapist went on maternity leave so i am legally allowed to be chaotic for the next 12 weeks. excited for this opportunity
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idk who needs to hear this but the situations you’ve manifested in ur head over the past 4 months about ur crush aren’t reality so they definitely don’t like u back bc ur too scared to do anything besides post an instagram story and hope they reply to it
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nursing majors be like damn i have a complaint about my major due friday
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red flags are so attractive. red is actually my favorite color
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i love seeing young couples getting married so early bc u know they’ll get to experience a wedding and a divorce before 30 years old which is such valuable life experience
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they’re not “bad at communicating” they just don’t want to talk to u but ur gonna ignore all the red flags now bc ur already in love with idea of them even though they’ve showed little to no interest in being with u
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spotify’s wrapped but it’s just all the embarrassing drunk messages u sent to people this year
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ur going home with the dude who tells u to wash ur face with dial hand soap when u stay the night while i have a 5 step drunk elephant routine just sitting here and no one to share it with
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sorry i ghosted u i just felt like u were gonna ghost me so i did it first
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he doesn’t “respect” u he just won’t have sex with u bc his dick is small and he needs to trap u with feelings first so u won’t leave him after
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if ur man is lasting longer than 15 mins u better ask him what he’s thinking about bc it’s not u
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need a girl that has 200+ posts on her finsta so i know she’s unstable from the start
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is anyone else scared of getting better? like i’ve been depressed for so long i’m nervous about getting better bc i wouldn’t know how to act if i actually had motivation to live life
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will there ever be an age where i stop asking for snapchats? like am i gonna be 33 in my studio apartment sending forehead snaps with no words? will it ever end??
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ur not “pre med” ur 20 years old retaking bio 101 bc u got a C the first time
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how do i explain to my mom that i wasn’t hung on my ex of 4 years for the last 6 months but instead someone that barely paid attention to me for 2 weeks and then ghosted me
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ur texting them “i’m so thankful for you i couldn’t imagine life without you” and they just put their phone on do not disturb and are making plans with their high school ex for the second night in a row
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dudes be like “sorry i ghosted u 3 months ago for no reason but now i’m lonely and i know u have a soft spot for me so anyway can u send nudes”
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i didn’t even snapchat u when i was drunk u literally mean nothing to me
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i realized i was depressed in 8th grade when i was microwaving my pizza rolls and everyone else was putting theirs in the oven
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condoms are literally pointless i was using one and still got a broken heart
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girls scared to let me cheat off of their biology homework but let their boyfriend cheat on them for 3 years
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can i put “being used for attention until they decided to get back together with their ex” on my resume
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just heard this dude yell at his gf that’s she’s a “fucking bitch” in the parking lot of my apartment god i miss the toxicity of an unhealthy relationship so much
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i’ve had a job for like 2 days when do i get all $401,000 from my 401k
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she tweeted about being lonely and wanting a bf but we’ve been talking for three weeks
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my roommate tried telling me i’m schizophrenic but jokes on him i don’t even have a roommate lmao
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my gf went to miami for spring break and now she said she’s stuck there for 2 more weeks and her phone is gonna die soon. i can’t believe this coronavirus stuff
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do they have all the qualities ur looking for in a person or are u just ignoring all the red flags bc they’re the only person who will give u the slightest bit of attention
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daylight savings means i get to be sad for an extra hour lol this is so much fun
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typing and then deleting a msg on snapchat so they get the notification that ur typing is the modern day equivalent of standing outside someone’s window and throwing little rock’s at it and i think that’s beautiful
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sorry i didn’t text u back for 23 days but now i feel like it’s been too long and having to explain myself gives me anxiety so pls reach out or we will probably never speak again
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idk who needs to hear this but they don’t “suck at texting” they just don’t want to talk to u
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i’ve never received a nude but i already know the appropriate response is “wow super cool 👍🏼”
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imagine not being insecure about every single thing that u do and not constantly thinking everyone is judging u LMAOOOOO
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it’s really cool that u knew exactly what u wanted to do when u got to college and graduated in 4 years and have a nice job but i’m a fifth year and i’ve switched majors 3 times since the semester started 2 weeks ago so personally i think ur missing out
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sorry i was tweeting and not texting u back it’s just that tweeting is fun and texting u is not
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i didn’t ghost u it’s just my frontal lobe isn’t fully developed yet i literally forgot we were dating
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u don’t have a “resting bitch face” u just haven’t felt happiness in 12 years
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ur crush is having sex with someone else while ur scrolling through ur twitter drafts trying to figure out which tweet will give u enough validation for the next 20 minutes
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just scrolling down the insta timeline liking pics with no regard for human life now that the following tab is gone
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dating me is so easy all i need is constant reassurance, attention, validation, and more than one word text responses. also don’t end a text with a period or u hate me
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