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@brainwxrms

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don’t chew with ur mouth open / @brainnotgood

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Joined September 2011
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
“ur so quiet” thanks my brain is broken and i have no thoughts
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
normalize shutting the fuck up when u don’t know what ur talking about
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
what part of “hiiii” do u not get??? i am in Iove with u
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@brainwxrms
logan
3 years
ur not “vibing” u are in severe psychological distress
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
what part of “hiiii” do u not get??? i am in love with u
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
a juul but instead of nicotine it’s serotonin
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
“high school sweethearts?” u mean u took each other’s virginity and stupidly went to the same college together so now u feel stuck and ur so terrified of change that you’ll never break up even though the love has been gone for years
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
no i don’t struggle with depression it actually comes very easy to me
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur not an “extrovert” ur annoying
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
if i say “i’ll let u know” just enjoy ur night
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
a girl in this coffee shop is just scrolling her phone laughing out loud nonstop. i can’t even imagine being that happy. all i know is pain
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur not “heartbroken” ur sad bc u let yourself get attached to someone who uses snapchat as their only form of communication and they haven’t replied in 6 hours
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
me on the way to the first day of class trying to think of 3 fun facts about myself
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
maybe if i express my feelings to the virus it will leave
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
wwyd if i put my cursor over ur cursor in the google doc
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
22, switched majors 5 times, can’t drink without blacking out, went to wendy’s for a 4 for 4 and my card got declined. what have you done 😎
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
sorry i didn’t text u back i just had the overwhelming feeling that nobody actually likes me and u were only talking to me bc u felt bad so i didn’t want to burden u with my existence
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
caffeine doesn’t do it anymore i need someone to text me “we need to talk”
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
she’s not gonna text u back she got a weighted blanket for christmas which doesn’t talk and doesn’t try to have sex with her 10 minutes into watching a movie
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
twitter is crazy because i can tweet “i hope ***** ****” and everyone knows exactly what it says
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
girls on tinder will say “your parents will love me but your neighbors won’t” like what are you gonna do? start mowing at 7am on a saturday??
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
imagine being horny enough to go sit in the woods with a guy at 5am in 20° weather and watch him try to shoot an animal
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
all of my tattoos have a very deep meaning they mean i was manic for a few days and got a tattoo
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
pee after sex or they make u take the SAT again or something
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
cheating is one thing but u gave him OUR chlamydia ??
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
girls be like “ugh i hate him so much he’s horrible at communicating and isn’t nice and can’t even manage to do the bare minimum but yeah we’re hanging out tonight when he gets back from the bar”
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
the bar is so low nowadays my girlfriend thanked me for “being nice” to her. so if ur single at this point ur probably just ugly
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
me to literally anyone: your feelings are valid you should talk about them even if something seems dumb/pointless to you i’m sure the other person will understand me to me: don’t talk about your feelings idiot no one cares
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
girls are like “yeah he ruined my life and self-esteem and made me feel like everything was my fault the whole time we were together but blocking him is kinda rude i feel bad”
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur checking their snap score while they aren’t texting u back and i’m sending them 200 snapchats in an hour so you’ll fight about it and break up
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur sending them a 3 paragraph goodnight text about how much they mean to u and they’re comparing hand sizes with someone they just met at a party 45 minutes ago. do better
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
imagine being a girl and having to keep an extra pair of underwear in ur car just in case some dude revs his truck up at the stop light
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
call me old-fashioned, but dating in our generation sucks. i miss the days when girls weren’t talking to 10 guys at once, but instead were forced into arranged marriages at 14 years old and would be publicly killed by their own family if they refused
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
the existence of TJ maxx implies the existence of TJ ruby
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
marrying ur partner from sophomore year of high school is great and all but it’s also like saying chicken nuggets are ur favorite food even though chicken nuggets are the only thing you’ve ever ate
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur in her DMs i’m in her instagram archive we are not the same. i am in unimaginable pain i miss her so much
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i always kiss my girl goodnight after hanging out w the homies
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
everyone making it such a big deal that coronavirus is controlling their life for a couple weeks when they let their ex control everything they did for two years
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
four loko and seven claws ago
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
just ready to find the person i can sleep with facing away from each other with our butts touching every night for the rest of my life
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
if ur crying over a dude you’ve been snapchatting for two months but he still won’t give you his number u kinda deserve it
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
people have one baby and revolve their whole life around it. you’ve known that thing for like a month grow up
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
not all men are the same i would emotionally manipulate u so much better than ur ex
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i once dated a sorority girl and every conversation went exactly like this
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
men be like “yeah my love language is manipulation”
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
Tweet media one
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
if i’ve ever been blackout drunk in front of you just know it was a joke i was kidding
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
becoming older than 12 years old was the biggest mistake of my life
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
just wanna join a sorority so i can have 30 ppl comment on my insta posts telling me i’m hot
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
ur mcm just texted his boys “what’s the move tonight?” they’re going to brad’s apartment to drink seltzers before going out to a bar & buying shots for girls that are completely uninterested. after failing to get a girl at the bar he’s gonna text u “u up?” at 1:30am. ur gonna go
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
sperm in a used condom that’s just life in a nut shell
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
imagine it’s ur first night living with ur boyfriend after 3 years of dating. u sit down on the couch after a long day of moving and unpacking everything and he turns on pawn stars
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
my therapist went on maternity leave so i am legally allowed to be chaotic for the next 12 weeks. excited for this opportunity
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
idk who needs to hear this but the situations you’ve manifested in ur head over the past 4 months about ur crush aren’t reality so they definitely don’t like u back bc ur too scared to do anything besides post an instagram story and hope they reply to it
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
nursing majors be like damn i have a complaint about my major due friday
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
stop using condoms let’s save the planet it’s the rawing 20s
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
mentally i am here
Tweet media one
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
red flags are so attractive. red is actually my favorite color
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
i love seeing young couples getting married so early bc u know they’ll get to experience a wedding and a divorce before 30 years old which is such valuable life experience
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
they’re not “bad at communicating” they just don’t want to talk to u but ur gonna ignore all the red flags now bc ur already in love with idea of them even though they’ve showed little to no interest in being with u
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
spotify’s wrapped but it’s just all the embarrassing drunk messages u sent to people this year
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur going home with the dude who tells u to wash ur face with dial hand soap when u stay the night while i have a 5 step drunk elephant routine just sitting here and no one to share it with
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
sorry i ghosted u i just felt like u were gonna ghost me so i did it first
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
he doesn’t “respect” u he just won’t have sex with u bc his dick is small and he needs to trap u with feelings first so u won’t leave him after
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
if ur man is lasting longer than 15 mins u better ask him what he’s thinking about bc it’s not u
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
need a girl that has 200+ posts on her finsta so i know she’s unstable from the start
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
is anyone else scared of getting better? like i’ve been depressed for so long i’m nervous about getting better bc i wouldn’t know how to act if i actually had motivation to live life
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
will there ever be an age where i stop asking for snapchats? like am i gonna be 33 in my studio apartment sending forehead snaps with no words? will it ever end??
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
u don’t belong to the streets u belong in a therapists office
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
ur not “pre med” ur 20 years old retaking bio 101 bc u got a C the first time
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
how do i explain to my mom that i wasn’t hung on my ex of 4 years for the last 6 months but instead someone that barely paid attention to me for 2 weeks and then ghosted me
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur texting them “i’m so thankful for you i couldn’t imagine life without you” and they just put their phone on do not disturb and are making plans with their high school ex for the second night in a row
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
dudes be like “sorry i ghosted u 3 months ago for no reason but now i’m lonely and i know u have a soft spot for me so anyway can u send nudes”
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i didn’t even snapchat u when i was drunk u literally mean nothing to me
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
i realized i was depressed in 8th grade when i was microwaving my pizza rolls and everyone else was putting theirs in the oven
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
condoms are literally pointless i was using one and still got a broken heart
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
girls scared to let me cheat off of their biology homework but let their boyfriend cheat on them for 3 years
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
can i put “being used for attention until they decided to get back together with their ex” on my resume
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
just heard this dude yell at his gf that’s she’s a “fucking bitch” in the parking lot of my apartment god i miss the toxicity of an unhealthy relationship so much
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
he’s not emotionally unavailable he just thinks ur ugly
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i’ve had a job for like 2 days when do i get all $401,000 from my 401k
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
she tweeted about being lonely and wanting a bf but we’ve been talking for three weeks
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
my roommate tried telling me i’m schizophrenic but jokes on him i don’t even have a roommate lmao
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
my gf went to miami for spring break and now she said she’s stuck there for 2 more weeks and her phone is gonna die soon. i can’t believe this coronavirus stuff
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
do they have all the qualities ur looking for in a person or are u just ignoring all the red flags bc they’re the only person who will give u the slightest bit of attention
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
daylight savings means i get to be sad for an extra hour lol this is so much fun
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
typing and then deleting a msg on snapchat so they get the notification that ur typing is the modern day equivalent of standing outside someone’s window and throwing little rock’s at it and i think that’s beautiful
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
sorry i didn’t text u back for 23 days but now i feel like it’s been too long and having to explain myself gives me anxiety so pls reach out or we will probably never speak again
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
idk who needs to hear this but they don’t “suck at texting” they just don’t want to talk to u
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i’ve never received a nude but i already know the appropriate response is “wow super cool 👍🏼”
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
imagine not being insecure about every single thing that u do and not constantly thinking everyone is judging u LMAOOOOO
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
it’s really cool that u knew exactly what u wanted to do when u got to college and graduated in 4 years and have a nice job but i’m a fifth year and i’ve switched majors 3 times since the semester started 2 weeks ago so personally i think ur missing out
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
sorry i was tweeting and not texting u back it’s just that tweeting is fun and texting u is not
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
i didn’t ghost u it’s just my frontal lobe isn’t fully developed yet i literally forgot we were dating
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
u don’t have a “resting bitch face” u just haven’t felt happiness in 12 years
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
ur crush is having sex with someone else while ur scrolling through ur twitter drafts trying to figure out which tweet will give u enough validation for the next 20 minutes
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
my crush said “goodnight” instead of “night”
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@brainwxrms
logan
5 years
just scrolling down the insta timeline liking pics with no regard for human life now that the following tab is gone
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
dating me is so easy all i need is constant reassurance, attention, validation, and more than one word text responses. also don’t end a text with a period or u hate me
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@brainwxrms
logan
4 years
“ur so quiet” thanks when i talk no one listens
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