It's none of your business how I died.

I am an iver emotional mess. My emotional are mainly anger and frustration yet I try to live my life as a stoic.

the optimistic nihilist who hopes for the best but thinks even if it goes shit nothing matters anyway.

With almost the despair and self loaving I've been feeling tonight, it's a wonder I haven't tipped myself.

You have a piece of me. I'll never be complete. I'll never be whole, but you didn't take it. I gave it to you.

I love going on long rage and intoxicant fueled walks. Screaming into the air and talking to myself all the way.

I walked into your room. You were wearing demin shorts and a t shirt tied into a crop top. Your hair freshly dyed purple. You'd never look so beautiful. I kiss you and immediately knew this is what my life had been missing.

To hold her face in my hands and gently kiss her. To tell her I love you and watch her smile.

I woman I loved is dead because in the time we weren't together she will have grown into a new person I won't know, but I would literally kill 100 red ninjas with my bare hands under the light of a full moon, to just be held by her for one more night

how do you fully move on and heal from someone you genuinely loved with everything in you

I could be wrong but I feel like I'm cursed to bury everyone I love and then die alone.

But I wanted more than you could give. I'm selfish like that I love unconditionally. And I want unconditional love in return.

I think, I feel and I really want to belive you gave me all of you that you could.

Oh shit. Mother fucker. God damn. I loved you so wholly. With a pure love that never wanted more than just you, but all of you.

But that first time is seered in my memory and will never leave me.

I can't remember how many times she said it after that, or how many times I said it in return.

I was laying flat on my back and she mounted me. Looked me straight in my eyes and told me she loved me.

I was rolling a joint on her bed and she walked into the room. Without a word she walked over to me and with one hand pushed me onto my back.

Oh shit. Time to get honest.

I'm flawed. Oh so fucking flawed but shit can't you love a man despite that?