THIS DID NOT AGE WELL IM BACK

i don't need my iPhone to tell me when to go to sleep.. that's something i'm comfortable figuring out on my own

I could kill a gorilla 1 on 1

don’t have to pretend to like ryan winnen’s ugly ass boring ass meaningless ass art anymore

Thrilled to announce that I’ve decided to stop making drums sound like Tame Impala!

if youre an artist that gets overwhelmed/stressed by people showing support/ reaching out maybe dont be an artist

Don’t make me join a google meet link are you out of your damn mind

Man I’m 30 now don’t put me in a group chat unless we’re making money, getting beers, or making money WHILE getting beers

Ahhh I’m sorry if you’re too cool for Spotify wrapped day, I hope things get better soon

So glad I figured out that I’m not a mustache guy during a less significant chapter of my life. Imagine being 30 trying to figure that out

Tired of having to do things!!!!!!!!

Checking a recipe site on my phone is truly the most irritating experience

it’s a beautiful day for a vasectomy 🫶🏻

Shout out to the five or so people that like every tweet I post. You know who you are. Thank you. Check my will when I die for a $25 Starbucks gift card

I just hope someday I’m bagged up enough to use a word like “cash flow” in a conversation

Watching “better call Saul” and there’s a 5 minute clip of Mike just eating pistachios and drinking a PBR in the dark in his own home. He’s just like me fr

“im neurodivergent” that’s cool man you’re still being an asshole

Whenever an A&R asks me for music recs it’s like “know any small young artists who are already famous but i somehow haven’t heard of them & also have a completely unique sound that’s DIY but Mainstream & they’re Hot but Not Too Hot And They Sound Exaclty Like Kings Of Leon??????”

Big news! Mr “one cup of coffee today” is feeling like he should become mr “two cups of coffee today” :)

@bobbyknepper_ Vouch