>coworker asks to borrow my lighter
>daily occurrence but idc i hand her a random one without looking
>she gets quiet
>says “oh. i’m sorry”
>look at her
>realize i just handed her this
no one gives a shit but me but here’s my warrior cats self insert Wingdapple . she’s a medicine cat for Thunderclan but also a skilled fighter. i have a terminal illness this is my last post goodbye
i’ve never shown my vintage clown collection so feast your eyes. highlights are a 1960s coin bank, a 1988 precious moments, a 1970s bookend, early 90s parade of dolls collectible, and a music box from the late 80s :-)
fit went so hard today 40 different women asked for my phone number the swag was coming off of me in sonic waves causing a minor seismic event along the east coast
Are you in a polycule. — this is actually the funniest message i’ve ever received i am dying to know where you could’ve possibly drawn this conclusion from
smallwish and dovetail are the perfect eiwawa warrior cat names i’m shaking the gears are turning. should i write enstars warrior cat au fanfiction im so autistic about this it hurts me physically
sorry for always tweeting about poop i know i’m 24 and an adult but poop is truly the goldilocks of humor.
pee = funny but not funny enough
diarrhea = hilarious but can be too much 80% of the time
poop & farts = just right.
had a dream the other night that i made a hinge account? and my bio was “looking for a girl who’ll puke on me” and i got so many death threats/ doxxed. woke up with insane heartburn
do u do coke with waiftard — yes with warren too... and every single time we collectively get diaorhea and shit in the same toilet bowl while holding hands
he graduated servea cum laude with a major in cuntology from the university of evil dykington he ate and shit a new strain of slay into the mother toilet
fuck it wataei warrior cats. eichi is a sickly former kittypet and meets wawa who convinces him to stay in the clans with him. don’t ask me what their warrior names would be
let it be known to all that rinne zach waiftard farted audibly and bodaciously in the grocery store and then immediately ran away and hid down an aisle
You seem like you would have a lot of dandruff — yeah sometimes when my friends and i get bored we scrape off a nice big pile cut some lines and go to town w a dollar bill
anyways. before my account got jailed i was Trying to make a point that not liking mdkh is the stupidest fucking reason to hate DF. not everything is about shipping brah. if you don’t like a ship you can ignore it i promise no one is forcing you to look at content for it