Boog
@bewgtweets
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“Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter”
Swamp
Joined May 2016
You ask me for the time and notice my watch is actually a live shrimp hugging my wrist, he whispers “12:30” but he’s guesstimating as shrimps usually do
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A solar powered light that gives off light that is strong enough *bong noises* to recharge itself
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I would have been so good at hunting that I’d have extra time to help gather. I would’ve been laughing with your girl in the blackberry brambles.
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Settle an argument: is The Nightmare before Christmas a Christmas movie or Halloween movie?
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Me: [annoyed that I have to repeat myself over the loud music] I said I feel like powerful honey. My dancing, my movements, they’re like powerful honey.
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The microwave should be called a defrigerator and I will die on this hill.
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Wife: are you ok? Me: *realizing Disney named the movie Frozen just to bury all of the Google searches about Walt being cryogenically frozen* haha yeah just think about winter.
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I known a guy that would say coke milk.
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Wife: are you ok? Me: *realizing Disney named the movie Frozen just to bury all of the Google searches about Walt being cryogenically frozen* haha yeah just think about winter.
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It’s called marking your territory
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The word dictator comes from the Latin words penis potato. Thank you.
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A newborn baby would imply there are also old, possibly even ancient born babies.
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If a flat taco is a Mexican pizza then a folded slice of pizza is an Italian taco. Do not try and tell me different.
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Are the kings gone yet? I want to protest other things that don’t exist here. Like unicorns. Fuck a one horned magical horse. Not in my country.
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So does Superman have an additional pair of underwear under his outer pair?
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Me: nice slutty sibling costume. My sister: I’m not wearing a costume.
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Her: are you ok? Me: *wondering why bread gets called toast after you put it into a toaster but anything else’s name stays the same. * I’m fine.
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To this day I still find myself occasionally thinking about how George Lucas named a chubby x-wing pilot Jek Porkins and how when Porkins was hit his squad leader told him to “bail out” in space.
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