benny polizzi
@benedictpolizzi
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comedian @fboyisland COLUMBUS June 13 PORTLAND June 26 ↓ 🎟️ tix
Joined November 2010
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coming to a comedy club / sun tan city near you☀️
🎟️
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guys naming random football players for no reason
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guys trying not to say the word “parlay” for 1 hour
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i’m gonna say what needs to be said:
basketball was better when it was like this
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did you have the same backpack from 3rd grade through senior year or do you have a lake house
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*goofy movie pizza has entered chat*
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CAN THEY FLUSH THE END ZONE PAINT TO THE WHITE LINE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
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guys who wear these to restaurants please don’t take my girl i’ll do whatever you want
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the law states your mom has to vacuum when the best part of the show is on
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nothing worse than biting into one of these and it being CUSTARD
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fav formation: SHOTGUN
Ben Polizzi
Marian University, Wide Receiver 2012-2014
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happy 4/20
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my dad taking back the whopper jr’s w/ mayo on them
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POV: it’s 2005 and your sister’s cool bf picks you up
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guys trying not to say the word “crypto” for 7 minutes
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another day of pretending i know what bomboclaat means
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how much was that taco? $4.20? DOH GOD
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4th of July but i’m on my … 5th 🍻 GEEZ
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BREAKING: New candidate is taking control of all parties
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you ever run a mile and just think damn that’s like 6 ritz crackers
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pass me the GINgerbread
-JOHNSON
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no one gets more offended than a guy who used to play baseball
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direct deposit: +$1400
me at the gas station: i’ll take the pistachios
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pass me the cranberry…👀… ᵃⁿᵈ ᵛᵒᵈᵏᵃ
DOH GOD
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you’re reading this with one leg on top of the other
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THIS GUYYYYYY!
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JOHNSON HERE
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