love you love you love you love you love you love
@badend_doll
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stories as a home for something /// bad end enthusiast /// dolls are just a vector /// 🔞 new stories 1/5 PM, reruns 3/7 PM, all times Pacific
she/her
Joined June 2021
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Pinned Tweet
/// BAD END DOLL
/// STORY-HOMES EVERY (WEEK)DAY
/// ARCHIVE (SEARCHABLE/OFFSITE):
/// INDEX (TWITTER THREAD):
/// ASK THE AUTHOR:
/// SUPPORT MY WRITING:
/// microfiction index
/// tags aren't formal content warnings, but i do my best to note the most upsetting elements.
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passed a girl on the street today wearing nothing but an alarming number of bruises in even scarier colors, and an oversized t shirt reading
REJECT ALL FALSE IDOLS
REJECT THAT PRETENDER NAMED PENETRATION
SEX IS SOMETHING YOU DO WITH YOUR TEETH
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girl walks through metal detector with roughly a hundred padlocks sewn into her sleeves, various shapes and hefts all dangling and swinging in rough unison like a leather fringe.
obviously, that triggers an inspection.
"can you uh. please remove those, miss."
shakes her head.
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"can i um..."
"what is it, sweet?"
"can i be the doll today? i just, hate the part where i'm supposed to say something. it's always wrong. i say i want to hang out, but really... i just want to be here, while you have a good time. i want to be a part of your happiness."
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"sinner" as a gender neutral term of endearment
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"that's going to be a problem. is there a reason you're unable to?"
shakes the sleeves this time, using easily three times as much vigor to display the full rattling majesty of her trail.
she seems real pleased with herself, honestly. guess that's why.
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i thought you were simply a boring toy, but it seems i've been playing with you all wrong...
you're so fun when i keep you sleep deprived like this. like a cute puppy past 36 hours, a softer sort of mess than normal, half-verbal and all clingy.
much more fun to hurt this way.
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she seems pretty pleased with that, too. starting to see why this girl and her locks are so inseparable.
carl isn't getting it.
"well jeez, no need to act so fond of me. you bring enough to share with the class, at least?"
the most emphatic shake yet this time, full body.
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i see the normals have arrived
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of course, my supervisor picks the worst time to involve himself, butting in with the same careless sense of humor as always. think this made him come off as personable as a floor agent, but as the guy holding all the power in the room... i'll be honest, it kind of grates.
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"sure she even has any of the keys? maybe she lost em!!"
our guest narrows her eyes at the stranger, then yanks on a few to demonstrate the ease with which they click apart. before either of us get too excited, her hand moves back down the row in a flash, click-click-CLICK.
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being a pervert is crucial to making good art obviously but people underappreciate what a critical role "making stuff to bait your pervert friends" plays in this ecosystem imo
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wait, you guys aren't constantly performing passive worldbuilding in response to every little external stimuli? you don't leave a trail of unused settings behind you? huh, weird. [thinks about why this might be for one second] hm on second thought it's probably fine to not.
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@Astr0nia
sometimes a girl just has to carry around nearly twenty pounds of locks, for stimming
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sometimes i just really hope doll stuff has been a force in your lives for radical self acceptance instead of a vector for developing a novel hellish form of hyperdysphoria over impossibly perfect inhuman bodies.
the true meaning of "not a person" is very important.
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it's time for your first lesson in helplessness.
you've had such trouble in the subject before, haven't you? it's okay, it isn't easy for some. here. swallow this.
what was it? a sugar pill, honestly. greased it in something special, though. you should be feeling that now.
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puts u in the doll tube and turns on the hurricane
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a note, left pinned to the kitchen fridge --
"PLEASE stop buying the ketchup that comes in a glass bottle, i know it's fancier, but the dolls don't understand. something, or someONE gave them the impression that glass bottles are for beverages. it's distressing to watch."
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when i say i'm tired of writing for twitter and making everything fit into neat blocks of 280 charas is crushing my creative capabilities this is what i'm talking about
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you wanna be my dog, huh? really got your heart set on the thought, dontcha. no other life for this little puppy...
cute!!
i like dogs who do that labored raspy breathing all the time, pugs and bulldogs and stuff. let's get you fitted for your corset, huh?
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you know what i find comforting in a top? honesty. not like, basic boundary shit, the Real honesty. words to set your expectations by, y'know?
"i'm probably not going to be able to cum, just so you know. not that you should stop trying, it's cute!!"
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we're going to play a little game now, i like to call it "quiet girls get to go home" but there are a few more colorful words for what's about to happen.
the rules are super simple, don't worry about memorizing them.
if you don't scream, i'll let you go.
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do you love ageplay, or do you just miss when god, no matter how cruel, had a face and a name like "mother" and a mouth that you could appease before it devoured you? life's cold, and the teeth come from nowhere.
you miss sucking up to god and feeling safe, don't you?
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in my opinion, you have a problem with paranoia.
to remediate this, i'm prepared to offer you a choice! you won't get many more of these, pay attention.
you have five minutes to beg me to chip you somewhere too deep to remove safely, so i can locate you even if you escape me~
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"we've finally created it, a machine that does no harm."
"...why is it shaped like a girl?"
"every moment of every day, she's calculating exactly what the consequences of her words or actions are, according to a comprehensive model of objective good."
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you aren't like other girls, are you?
normally, when i squeeze like *this*, and their eyes go all distant without oxygen... there's this expression of fear. tensing everything from their cheekbones to their neckline, thrashing weakly for dear life.
you just beam worship, huh?
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a plushie is a friend you charge by dreaming, clutched tight enough that both drool and aimless fantasies seep through its soft surface.
treat it to enough of both, and you might find that the feelings entrusted to that treasured fluff parcel have hatched, and now thrive.
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"YOU'RE ABOUT TO BRING A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE 'STUFFED TOY' IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW."
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? ARE YOU GONNA FUCK ME IF I DON'T?? WHAT KIND OF A DOLLMAKER ~ARE~ YOU!!"
"THE KIND THAT'S GOING TO FUCK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP."
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"who's a good puppy? is it you? is it??"
the dour-looking doll, mag-lock animal ears perched atop her upset face, just turned her head to one side and grunted noncommittally.
"...no. it's not. i'm not a d-"
searing pain from the boxy collar, arcing behind her reticent eyes.
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once "doll" has been so thickly colonized as to be unrecognizable let's all just be bugs
-gleaming shell > porcelain
-synonymous with insignificant
-most people think are gross
-cute actually but in a less accessible way
-live together in snug spaces away from the hating world
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one hand to each other's faces, to stabilize her.
"you can be the doll today. for a little while, it's fine, whenever you need to. just... promise we'll have a talk later about this 'nothing good in me' business. i want to shine my light on everything you've shown me."
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"i just always say too much or too little and it's always just the thing that lets people see that there's nothing good inside me and i just want to. be. Here. i want to be soft against you. i want..."
sobs like waves, till the tide draws far.
"oh sweet, i know. i understand."
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"ur such a considerate listener" thanks!! i maxed out that whole branch of the neglected child skill tree and half of the adjacent lines, so it's sort of a survival skill meets life's passion kind of thing.
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anyone else have trouble getting dolls to sleep on the beds you've prepared for them?
yes, i tried the dumb little bespoke ones that look like pet beds, even though i find them more demeaning than cute.
all my girls prefer to spread a blanket across the floor.
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@yurirando
post kicks ass but it cracks me up reading the throngs of comments like "what book or play is this from???" like attempting wordpretty is a grave affair for the erudite ancients and not something everyone should try
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not me getting slightly turned on when the nurse turned to my wife and started going over "okay so legally she's no longer a responsible adult for the next 24 hours, you going to watch her closely?"
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truly not entirely sure what patreon is asking me to confirm as a writer
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puppygirl dog park (TF2 server)
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"hey, uh, babe? why's your crotch smell so sweet??"
"whuh"
"yeah no like, distinctly. why's your junk reek like some sort of old timey amish candy they ferment under a pile of wet straw?? is this some new bodywash???"
"um. i dunno!! i haven't showered in a day or two."
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you'll know a doll truly trusts you when they let their voice glitch out around you, a comfortable garbled stream of would-be phrases turning over in her head and chest like so much verbal gravel.
marcie's been in her Miss's lap for almost an hour, burbling the same three words.
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"c'mon, s'just weed."
the doll looks out of sorts at the other end of the offer, but i press the pipe into his palm insistently.
"not asking."
it's his first try, but i make sure he takes a huge hit and holds it, just to be sure he puts on a show for me.
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two gloved fingers under your tongue, one hooked in your cheek. there's no warmth to the gesture, just a check to ensure the saline wash didn't miss any spots.
wear and tear test next. every day's like this. full course, cleanup, repeat.
just the toy they use to test toys.
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this that one armored core boss that was giving people trouble?
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"is the equation sound? does the model produce results?"
"oh, absolutely not, but it keeps her locked up processing long enough for any given window of action to pass her by."
"what does she produce, then??"
"mostly cute sounds!! and dread. lots and lots of dread."
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/// microfiction index
/// tags aren't formal content warnings, but i do my best to note the most upsetting elements.
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my wife has a habit of pinning me down and giving me my own meds by pushing them through my lips and teeth with two fingers and fishing them under my tongue (it's a fun game!!) and last night i managed to pass out early so of course she woke me up with a headlock and two fingers.
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most of my dolls are shaved and fitted for longterm wigs, so it came as some surprise to him when i instead encouraged the growth of his natural hair.
i told him it was too pretty to waste, healthy and supple, it'll be prettier long.
didn't give him the real reason, of course.
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six handlers in the break room crowded over their lunches, and five are too shocked at what they just heard to carry on eating.
"...you WHAT?"
"pff, what, you guys don't disable most of those system warnings? all shields critical, ammo tracking, hull integrity."
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a doll choosing to marry a puppy girl is just asking to spend her days wailing I'M NOT SOME SORT OF SQUEAKY TOYYYYYY, I'M DELICATEEEE I'M EXPENSIVEEEE DON'T, BITE!! I'M ONE OF A KIND!!
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snuff is inherently feminine imo, like yeah death is our domain or whatever but also legitimately there's something about girls that makes some of us more prone to wanting to watch something die
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"please," she sniffles into your shirt, "please rape me, please don't hold back."
her fists are balled up so tight, you can feel the surface tension of her skin in their trembling. she's never been more serious in her life.
"i don't want to be the same person after."
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"doll stuff didn't die, all your favorite accounts just healed and got a life" really hits different from where i'm sitting lol, i think it's fine to just say an unorganized scene diffused naturally as social media itself fragmented...
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my doll's been crying for hours again, making little fists so tight that the joints in her arms start rattling and screaming panicked grief into the couch cushions.
there's no apparent source, no reasoning with these daily fits. she isn't unhappy, just... bubbles over.
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the doll gasps, wriggles, and writhes, clamping down on the front of her nightgown with both arms, but it's too late to eject the intruder by force -- only her words can save her now.
"T THIS IS AN UNAUTHORIZED EXPEDITION TO TUMMYTOWN!! YOU WILL BE TREATED AS A TRESPASSER!!"
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"yellow. i said yellow!!"
"mm, you sure you did? sounded like it, but given your current balance, i figured i ought to confirm first."
one tilt of his stupid face towards a whiteboard affixed to the bedroom wall is all i need as a reminder.
"you're out of freebies this month~"
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the first things she told you when she took you were, in turn, "i will love you" and "you will die here."
you were reassured that the first would come before the second, that killing is easy, and what matters comes before.
neither of those promises were kept, in the end.
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in the weird halo department
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good morning, cutie!! got some fun news for you today~
remember those measurements i took last week? mhm! your heavy overalls are ready!!
i'm sure you're picturing something like the big lead bib they make you wear at the dentists. i've got a much simpler solution in mind~
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here's a simple truth -- you find my trauma hot. there's a tiny part of my brain always telling me i'm less than you, and it makes you hard.
that's fine.
this is mine to give away. look me in the eyes when you hurt me, and see just how badly i think i deserve it.
1
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oh god, this suicide hotline uses dolls.
thought it might be one from first greeting. too fucking chipper. kind of tonedeaf, really. now it's asking me shit i don't even know how to respond to.
"umm. excuse me? your um. your favorite holiday, then?"
"what."
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nobody seems to know how to nail the first date but it's really easy in my experience to just open the wikipedia list of known autocannibalism incidents on your phone, slide it across the table, and ask them who on the list they respect most/least.
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drool.
drool lots, continuously. until this wears off. in say, five or six hours.
i'll be so proud of you, you know. sharing your warmth with the world, neck and chest shining with the proof of your innocent joy.
i want to see you dripping more often, you know~
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normals traumadump too they just do it in the comments to a youtube video of their favorite video game song
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unhappy that i gotta say this at all but please do not do the "egg" thing on people but with doll stuff.
like, do not in general, but especially not with this framework, that's terrifying to me. either you are accelerating something that does not need it, or you're doing harm.
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i should emphasize more often that the dolls are fat, i think, twitter character limits sort of cut how much time i can spend on chara descriptions.
please kill the lithe androgynous porcelain beast in your head. you're a doll of your own design.
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you ever hear of the library of babel?
it's a collection of every possible permutation of english characters, monkey-typewriter style. vast majority's gibberish, but meaning is more than inevitable on this scale. every sonnet and suicide note, even those unwritten, all there.
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a smaller note, scrawled directly onto the fridge door beneath the last --
"DON'T LISTEN TO MISS!! SHE'S TRYING TO KEEP ALL THE RED DRINK FOR HERSELF AND IT'S NOT FAI--"
the felt-tipped marker trail spins out towards the gleaming handle before evaporating entirely.
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please be careful teaching your doll concepts wholesale!! dolls are conceptual creatures, they're capable of Extension in a way that would take your breath away.
made the mistake of teaching a doll what "parrying" is and now she keeps applying it to *everything*.
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FINAL REMINDER TO ALL DOLLS: BOARD GAME NIGHT IS *NOT* A POTLUCK.
NO CONSIDERATION WILL BE SHOWN TO REPEAT OFFENDERS. POP A SINGLE PIECE IN THAT MOUTH, AND I'LL SHRINK YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU TAKE ITS PLACE.
SEE HOW YOU LIKE SOMEONE SUCKING ON YOUR HEAD BETWEEN MOVES.
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@TRANSGUNOWNER
every owner of an account on That Forum should be legally disbarred from using computers for the rest of their lives at minimum and if that's not happening then everything's gotta go
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"...hey um, your doll seems sick!"
"thank you!! i built her myself, she's my own design."
"n, no, i mean like, you should take her to the vet. is that... ink and wax she's throwing up?"
"ohhh, you mean her little leaks? those are part of the design!! don't they look striking?"
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your neighbor doesn't make his cat wear a collar. the little thing is good enough to walk along the wall around his yard, no further.
your owner likes to tease you about this while tugging on the length of leather around your neck -- a dumb animal can be trusted more than you.
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you failed. you're trapped. you're in the bad end, and not even your own.
that's right, that's all you are. someone else's bad end. a poisoned vine you failed to prune, now wound tight in the workings of the lives of countless others.
nothing to be done but defy fate, then.
2
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there's a locked bot that's been following me since nearly day one, a 150 following 5 follower affair named "don't mind me!!"
of course i minded. too many details invited curiosity. what sort of automated account follows a low three digits? why are some permitted entry??
2
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what if instead of writing tonight i just fiddle with dwarf fortress to rename dwarves to dolls and change all the physical features that can be generated
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imagine how far i could make it on this wretched site if i simply compromised on my principles and started writing about how good and wondrous it is to lose all agency in life and become property.
i would be so good at it you guys. unreal shit. hypno twitter would puke.
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something feels... off as your alarm rouses you from your slumber. you showered last night, ready down to the finest detail for this job interview. why does your skin feel so... tacky? lightly stretched, slightly sore...
phone says you're catching the first alarm, phe-
wait.
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a person? oh really. are you sure about that? a person is defined by their decisions, and yours have been very poor indeed.
wouldn't you prefer to be valued for your body, instead? all you ever have to be is pretty and afraid, i know there isn't much more to you than that.
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dearest,
stop. eating. charcoal. it is for my art. if you ask ahead with a carbon craving, i can prepare your little fireplace briquette snacks, but for the love of all that gleams, keep those paws off of my supplies.
ever your final stroke in moonlight,
M
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i never mean to lose twenty minutes to a mouthful of warm doll collarbone, it just happens every time. they're tricky little creatures, they'll figure out how to goad you into it.
there's just this look they give you, to start. a little scared, but hungry, reverent.
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your Miss never gets tired of showing off her collection, and you're the crown jewel. not for the rarity of your materials, not the craftsmanship either.
matter of fact, quite the opposite.
she runs her hand across your torso's imperfect join seam, and the whole room thrills.
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@TRANSGUNOWNER
every time i remember someone was there to film the arrest for their youtube c hannel i want a flood to take everything
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"MEEE EEE MEE EME EE IT'S MEE I'M GOOD I'M THE GOOO OOD PUPPY PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE, IT'S ME IT'S MEEE"
she begged so sweet, i let her off lightly.
only cooked a moderate lisp into her, didn't take her words away entirely.
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all down your throat, right? it's not so much tight as it is... relaxed. you can still pull things together and force yourself to swallow, but it's an act of coordination, not a reflex.
it's going to get harder. trust me, you won't choke. there's just one thing you have to do.
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trimmed my bangs recently so why not, author portrait time (no making fun of my wife's messy desk or my weakass smile)
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when first contact was made, the world held its entire breath, fixing in our minds a very specific idea of what it would mean to face something completely foreign to the human form.
we braced ourselves for their distaste, a certain revulsion at our strange bodies or minds.
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writing little4middle couples is self-care
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"i think i invented a new spell." is the cause for some alarm on the best of days, doubly so when spoken by a doll with a mouthful of cornflakes.
it's bad enough when an ordinary human child stumbles into a breach in reality like this. the last time a doll invented a spell...
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the right kind of trauma makes you really fun for tabletop zero sessions and significantly less exciting to be around the rest of the time
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you made your dolly as a sort of social support, a girl who's always by your side so you never have to interact with others on any sort of back foot. a bit manipulative, maybe, but you needed the relief to continue normal life.
the mindreading module might have been a bit much.
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kay looks so cute when i tell him to get ready for me to put his makeup on. wide-eyed to the edge of frenzy, composed enough to keep his smile from slipping.
i've made a real mess of this boy already, and i'm not done yet.
he brings me my belt, of course. always well trained.
1
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the little thing gina brought in still doesn't seem comfortable around the house yet, still fresh enough a visitor to get away with silently watching us prepare breakfast together.
"hey Miss? why's your knife so tiny??"
i pause partway through mincing a pepper.
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chastity was a cute look for you, but i've got a different idea about how you should behave from now on.
not humiliating enough just keeping you locked.
you know what would be embarrassing? if you had a habit of absentmindedly touching yourself, no matter where or when.
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can't believe i actually have to say this, but i won't hesitate now that we're here
nazi dolls fuck off. get out.
1
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"Miiiiiiiiiss!!"
oh god. what now. little fia is insatiable. you've adopted dolls who were clingy before, and ones which craved punishment, but the personals ad you nabbed her from failed to prepare you for the reality of
"can you set me on double fire?? Please Please Please."
1
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when i first met my current doll, she was living out of a potato chip bag, peering carefully at the world from beneath her rustly, biodegradable home.
i asked her if she wanted to come home with me, and all she had to say was "does it have rooms?"
2
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six weeks ago, i asked my doll to start reminding me to go to bed on time. she looked a little sad, but agreed readily.
sorry, little doll. it's a little too easy staying up with you by my side.
easier than i thought, apparently. caught her changing all the clocks in the house.
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entertaining the possibility that there is no "doll twitter" and i'm just patient zero in twitter's new next level heavenbanning protocol, complete immersion in a community generated by your interests
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there are a few holes in your story. stuff doesn't line up.
you say you're afraid of other people. if you want to be specific, you say you fear rejection, or closeness, or any number or other excuses with the right shape.
wrong way, i say. your fear's a symptom, not a syndrome.
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reminder that "doll" as a construct is not for use as a spiritual cipher with which you can encrypt all the parts of your soul you don't want to look at directly
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