✨ Leah, but make it fandom ✨
@awkwardterrier
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Say it like the princess, or "layer" in Boston. She/her. Former joy to have in class. Current librarian, fic writer, book nerd, and general media overconsumer.
Probably my apartment
Joined December 2021
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Last Seen Profiles
"Last two times we said goodbye, I thought it was forever...Yet here we are. So who knows?" 😭😭
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Very sincerely: shut up, shut up, shut up, let Jamie Fraser raise his children 2kforever 😭😭😭😭
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Now that we've seen Fergus's reaction this season, it hits different to remember him staying for that extra beat and being the last one to walk away from Claire. As if he's memorizing her in that moment and internalizing it as yet another element of his failure
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After writing a bit today, I realized that another Jamie thing I like is that he doesn't really get weird when people cry around/on him - doesn't try to distract or cheer them up, just stays with them. Unfortunately noticeable to have a male MC deal well with emotional displays.
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Anyway, we love a stereotypically-gendered role reversal in a sex scene (or at least I do 🤷♀️). Good night!
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Dr. Fraser is v v lucky to have such an observant apprentice 😅
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Was trying to figure out what this face reminded me of...😂
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Not to see everything through A. Malcolm goggles, but the "tracing her fingers along his arm while asking him a difficult question" move brought it to mind too strongly not to mention it!
Gifs both from avasetocallmyown on tumblr 💜
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Impressed no matter how many times I rewatch by the careful visual details and callbacks included in 5x12, from the red dress to the orange to the rabbit to the laird's room wallpaper 🤌🤌🤌
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Deferring to those who have more expertise here: is there a Caitríona photoshoot that is artistically like this one? I don't mean literally featuring horses, but similar lighting, type of wardrobe, general mood, background - something that would look like a visual match to this
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There's absolutely a pragmatic read on the fact that the major decorating theme for their temporary home is lots of plants, but I'm taking the feelsier route and deciding it's because Bree chose to surround herself with them now that she's separated from her mother 🥺🥺
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Guess it's inevitable that a stable boy will become a stable grandda 🥹🥹
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Jamie: Sassenach 😍 mo ghràidh 😍 mo cridhe 😍Sorcha 😍 mo nighean donn 😍
Claire:
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Not universal, but I actually like the religious aspect of Jamie's character and when they include those moments in the show. (Not least bc him being a true believer means that when he says, "If I have to endure 200 years of purgatory" or "Deo gratias," he REALLY MEANS IT. 😭😭)
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Hey, so remember when I speculated that I might be comfortable starting to post my WIP by July? Turns out I was right! I'll be posting on alternating Sundays, the first one being tonight.
Muscle Memory, chapter 1:
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Looking back on S6, one of the things I really appreciate is that, sex scene or no, every single episode so beautifully displayed and maintained their *conversational* intimacy - joking or serious, discussing politics, family, their feelings for each other, pain past and present.
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Honestly in love with this, and how epic it is, and the flag placement, and Ian and Willie in the background, and the full gorgeous battle couple of it all, but also, big shoutout to everyone who worked to manifest kilt!Jamie once again 🙌🙌
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New fic alert! (I'd say "surprise!", but I've been talking about it for a while now 😂) Once again winning the world's longest title award, the first chapter of After the War Is Over (Will There Be Any Home Sweet Home?) aka the Great War Frasers is up now:
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Religious!Jamie is something that I have a particular affinity for, and the addition of the patron saint of horseman was just perfect in the most heartbreaking way
Jamie and Claire praying together for their granddaughter is such a beautiful moment - also the way she looks to him for guidance, his faith that the saint will look after Mandy 😭
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Jamie, despite having seen her accused of being a witch multiple times, literally relying on, "But anyone who spends five minutes with Claire knows how amazing she is 🥺👉👈"
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Trying out the
#Wednesday100
thing because I 💜 drabbles. Got this idea during my 6 AM wakeup, but it took until now to get it down and get the word count all worked out
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"Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color."
― Separation, W. S. Merwin
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Tbh, if you're not going to be touching 24/7 as you face your future together, what's the point?
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Rewatched a bunch of S1 episodes and now I have Thoughts™. First being:
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My random "all I can think about" moment of the day? Apparently the way he clenches his fist to keep himself from touching her back.
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Especially struck during this 4x10 rewatch by the look in Jamie's eyes during the struggle with Brianna: upset over what he has to do, but also almost overwhelmed by that parental understanding that your child can be hurt in ways that are out of your control 💔💔
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New fic from me - surprise, everyone! (Except for a couple of Sherlocks out there and my tumblr pals 😅) Enjoy this first chapter of All the Ways Home:
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Comforting each other from the first to the last, and I'm not okay about it 😭😭😭
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A trip to Lallybroch, and some revelations in the air! Chapter 4 of After the War Is Over is up now:
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Are we ready for this? Maybe not, but here we go! Chapter 10 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Always appreciate smiley, snuggly postcoital/morning after Claire 🥰🥰🥰
good morning to happy claire, the morning after her and jamie’s reunion
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Thoughts on why they costume Claire in so much white in 3x03? (Something about facades and the perfection she's trying to perform at this point in her life?)
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I have decided that I need to stop making myself nuts about this and just put it out there! Roots and Wings, the absolutely oddball companion oneshot to After the War Is Over, is up now:
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"Ye dinna see any marked changes, do ye, Sassenach?" 🥹🥹
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I know that in 4x06 when Claire says, "Thank God you had measles as a child," it's probably a reference to Jamie mentioning it or telling her the story, but I like the idea that at some point along the way she made him sit down and give her a full personal medical history 😂
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Can fic not merely be two characters you love being together in a feelsy way? Chapter 3 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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I kinda love that they didn't use the exact same picture - there's such a personal touch to the idea that Claire and Brianna prefer different shots from the same day - but also "she was such a tiny thing" is the most hilarious response to seeing this ENORMOUS BABY 🤷♀️
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In which you can read between the lines to find out about my opinions of 1920s wedding fashions...and also there's a wee wedding! 😁 The epilogue of After the War Is Over is up now:
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As if there wasn't enough pain in this ep: thinking about how Jamie lists William as one of the losses because he wasn't able to raise him, but also there's probably a very real possibility in his mind that his son could die in battle before they ever meet/speak again 🙃🙃🙃🙃
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Hope everyone who leaves comments on old/er fics knows that I'm thinking very nice things about them and want them to live an amazing life 🥰🥰🥰
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It's a rainy Sunday evening here, which kinda makes it the perfect time to cuddle up and check on how the Frasers are doing - but I say that can apply whatever the weather/time of day is where you are!
...Anyway, chapter 5 of All the Ways Home is up now!:
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"I reckon one of us should ken what they're doing" is obvs v sexy and good, but it's so top tier that Jamie "I loved ye when ye wept in my arms that first night at Leoch" Fraser sees how unsettled Claire is at the idea of getting married and so only mentions wounds and friendship
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Back from celebrating the new year, and here's some new material for you all! Chapter 2 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Uncle + nephew falling in love moments 🤌🤌🤌
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Sooooo stupidly married 🥰🥰🥰
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If you're looking for Fraser family feels, you've come to the right place! (Well, at least I think so...) Chapter 4 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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This feels in certain ways like it refers to so much more than this moment, but to the peace and togetherness that they should have had throughout their life, even if they're grateful for the time they've gotten and the home they made now 🥺🥺
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Reminders that I've promised a happy ending, you've historically sorta liked me, and I generally prefer remaining unmurdered. 🫣 Chapter 15 of Muscle Memory is up now:
(Thanks per usual to Danielle/
@smashingteacups
for helping me while I made her cry😘)
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Though she be but little, I'm actually preeeetty excited to share this one with you all... Chapter 4 of Muscle Memory is up now:
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Devastating: Local man remains hot even while disgusting 😔
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Y'all ever think of the first time Bree hears her father call her mother "Sassenach" and just...🥺
(And it doesn't register because she sees her mom and doesn't know the backstory, but in another world it wouldn't register because she'd have grown up hearing that affection.)
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There's something meaningful to me about Jamie in 4x09 saying that Bree has come *back* to him - a reminder that even though Claire left while Bree was barely more than a presence, nothing he could see or touch, he was still connected with her 🥺🥺
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Very few things that would get me up and traveling at this point in the day, much less to New York, but I guess that's the power of fandom 😁😁 Hope to get to see some of you soon!
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Wow, if I had a nickel for every time Jamie went to pee and was surprised by one of his kids, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?
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Chapter 11 of Here's All the Melting Thrill is online:
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Tonight's S1 commentary discovery (and I feel like a fool for not noticing - doesn't even look like his usual wardrobe!!): Jamie wears his father's coat for Quarter Day.
I've always been so touched by the way Jamie admires Brian, but to literally wrap himself in his mantle...😭
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The way they watch each other into sleep? Obsessed with it 😍 😍😍
They went to sleep holding hands and nothing will convince me otherwise.
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Ready your fiddles and get out your dancing shoes! This week's wee chapter of After the War is over is up now:
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Doing the most tiny and delicate fix-it fic for this week's
#Wednesday100
, because I absolutely adore this scene but am also always like, "No, don't TOUCH her! Think of where your hands have been!!" 😅😅
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Y'all, if you're ever unsure about leaving a comment on AO3, if you ever worry that you won't be able to express yourself well enough or think that it won't matter, just know that I've literally spent the past 36 hours periodically crying over a nice review someone left me 🥹
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Finished the first pass of the Muscle Memory epilogue tonight (between this and Here's All the Melting Thrill, seems like "absurdly late on Saturday night/Sunday morning" is my fic finishing time 😅). Can't believe I now officially have drafts for every chapter of this fic 😭😭
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It's time for some emotional talk as a new POV enters the chat! Chapter 11 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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The weapons might change, but the man doesn't
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I love their baby selves, but there's something so beautiful to me about the fact that they've been able to grow to a place together where they can admit to failings, to a lack of control - especially in light of their conversation last week
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Along with everything else, that was 20 years without the one person who could understand that particular pain and loss, and carry it alongside them 😢😢😢
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Time to fix that angst which I hath wrought! Chapter 5 of After the War Is Over is up now:
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Anyway, going to bed for real for real, but also the attachment that Claire, who never really grew up with a home and who lost the chance to have one with Jamie sooner and who never settled in the one Frank gave her, has to this place they made together?
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Thinking about how the classic Ave Maria arrangement Claire sings was written by Schubert in 1825, so the people of the Ridge are probably like, "Wow, a healer with a great singing voice AND she can also spontaneously compose beautiful music, truly what can't Claire Fraser do?"
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Took a quick break from cooking my latkes to put up some fic for you all! Chapter 8 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Patrons doing me a HUGE solid today by largely not calling so I could listen through and do the major round of edits on the 29 hefty pages of this Muscle Memory chapter 🤗
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Anyway, just spent too much of the afternoon thinking about "I know that look on your face, Jamie Fraser. You're in love" in context of the fact that Claire never got to see that look on his face at Faith or Brianna's births (though she did get this), how's your day going? 🥲🥲
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I think what really extra gets me is that he knows now exactly what that can mean and what he might have to endure to keep Claire safe, and yet he's only more vehement and determined to keep to his vow 😭😭😭
Jamie's devotion to Claire hasn't wavered in all their years of marriage together and apart - it's the fact that he speaks of this vow with the exact same conviction as he did when he first made it that has me SOBBING over yet another incredible
#Outlander
parallel.
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Editing Muscle Memory 17 is all fun and games until you hit this note and actually have to act upon it 🥴
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Journeyed for many hours today but I am back home and ready to share some more familial encounters with you all! Chapter 6 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Good night to Da Jamie, and all the Fraser bairns. Hopefully everyone can be less traumatized tomorrow!
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This is supposed to be "Mo nighean donn?" 😭😭😭 @ Starz, absolutely begging to please get someone who understands the context to do your subtitles. I would literally do it for free, this is so stupid 😩
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Jamie's in 1x01 for ~20 minutes, he has a dislocated shoulder, fights some redcoats, gets shot, rides a horse all night, and still manages to spend approx 90% of the time Looking™ at Claire. Love him for that, and love that for him. 🥹 🥹 🥹
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I'm determined to do fluff for Wednesday, but I couldn't resist mangling the updated Kübler-Ross for a quick post-7x02 Jamie POV drabble series
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Got stuck in TERRIBLE traffic on the way home. Bright side: I'm not the driver, so I used it as an opportunity for Muscle Memory editing 😁😁
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My fictional riding school is ready for opening, and also there's some resolution to find for these Frasers! Chapter 13 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Started thinking about the irritation of having pregnancy cravings for things that don't currently exist so we're back to the Laird's Room for this
#Wednesday100
!
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As promised, chapter 2 of Muscle Memory is now up:
Big thanks to Danielle/
@smashingteacups
for wrangling my absurd and stupid tenses in this one, and for being so supportive. 🥰 Hope y'all enjoy!!
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For those enjoying NYC and for those of us at home, chapter 8 of Muscle Memory is up now!:
(Thanks, of course, to Danielle/
@smashingteacups
for managing to make time for this one despite much busyness! 🤗)
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Suddenly thinking for some reason about how one of my brothers is always the one to take family selfies because he's Particularly Tall 🫠😅
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New year, new baking thread! Shabbat shalom from me and my chocolate chip peanut butter bread 😘 (The YouTube video version with applesauce,
@LadyJaneLJ
!)
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Inspired by a little tale of stuffed animal repair on the TL for this week's
#Wednesday100
😊😊
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Pouring one out for Jamie Fraser because Claire was singing all proper and polite like she was in church but it was at a funeral so doing indecent things was off the table 😔😔
Caitríona Balfe as Claire Fraser singing Ave Maria. That's it. That's the tweet.
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The thought of Bree (briefly!) lost in the supermarket/mall, being asked what her mom's name is and J/C overhearing her insisting that it's Sassenach because that's what Da always calls her is very much a winner for me 😅😅😅
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Something to close out the Thanksgiving weekend for those of y'all who are celebrating, or just to enjoy for those of you who are not! Chapter 7 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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Thanks to everyone who participated in my long search for a dress for my cousin's wedding 😅 You can't see it, but the final choice features what my mother refers to as "the back drama," so suffice to say I'm bringing it tonight!
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Not as long as last week, not as long as next week, but I think you're going to like it anyway! 😊 Chapter 12 of Muscle Memory is up now:
(And a big thanks to Danielle/
@smashingteacups
for diving in once again with help, encouragement, and emojis 😂)
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You've been waiting, and here she is: the woman, the myth, the legend! Chapter 12 of All the Ways Home is up now:
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