Associate Deans Profile
Associate Deans

@ass_deans

Followers
111K
Following
69K
Media
40
Statuses
11K

Making fun of middle management in colleges and universities. Because you can never have too many associate deans conspiring to be THE dean.

Inside an Ivory Tower
Joined June 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@ass_deans
Associate Deans
6 days
Yes, it is true, I am leaving the university. I will heading a new (as yet unnamed) accreditor for real American universities.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
6 days
So you finished your first book and want to know if you need an agent? That’s cute. I know your publisher. You’ll be lucky to get enough royalties to reload your Starbucks app.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
9 days
The college has expressed its opinion, we expect our faculty to share it.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
10 days
It’s easy to spot the full professors, they write very little but never stop talking and offering advice to their junior colleagues. The advice was never very good, but is less helpful with each passing year.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
11 days
Sorry for laughing, I didn’t realize you were trying to make a serious point. You have to admit, it is funny coming from you.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
12 days
How is your summer vacation going? Must be nice to have three months off every year!!!.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
12 days
We know. In order to fire you as a tenured prof we had to make sure your department didn’t exist anymore. Seemed worth it.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
12 days
It is not that we are firing you, your job just doesn’t exist anymore.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
13 days
We aren’t fixing something that isn’t broken, we are getting ahead of it becomes a problem.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
14 days
You don’t have to lack self awareness to be an associate dean but it definitely helps!.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
18 days
I know you think you are helping but please stop telling our new faculty that they need to figure out their side hustle because they can’t live on what the college pays them.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
19 days
On the issue of whether we should have a king in this country, the college is maintaining its policy of staying neutral on political issues. But just in case…. “Long Live the King”.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
19 days
Development said they texted Gavin Newsom for money, but he didn’t respond.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
19 days
Academic freedom is not unlimited. Your academic freedom ends where the board of regents begins.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
21 days
Good news, we have a new AI tool to review all class materials for anti-Trump bias.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
21 days
Wait, the guy we fired was in the faculty senate? How could we have known?.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
22 days
Sorry, that’s a you problem, not a me problem.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
28 days
And just like that, faculty are heading back to Twitter….
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
28 days
Our two biggest donors are in a very public spate. Our strategy is to see if we can get them in a competitive bidding war over the naming rights for our new business college building. So no taking sides… yet!.
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@ass_deans
Associate Deans
28 days
It’s so sad. I remember an America where billionaires conspired together against the working class and poor.
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