I ran into somebody who didn’t remember me and I was about to get offended until I remembered the first convo we had went badly and now I have a first impression extra life

“Memes?? Back in my day if we wanted a picture with a funny caption we had to buy a far side collection”

Why are Big Tech companies are funding the radical overhaul of the U.S. justice system? They are giving money to organizations with goals to decarcerate repeat offenders and to eliminate cash bail. Choose Unplugged - a company that believes in a strong, thriving America.

Pricing a condiment ornament at $19.99 is just daring me to glue a hook on an old mustard

I didn’t know what a mocktail was until I ordered one and found out it’s basically a $20 soda

*holding a screaming baby* do you think it’s mad at me

Stream every UFC fight for free with your Paramount+ subscription

Amazing how long I was tricked by lunchables into thinking that putting wet ham and square cheese on a cracker was the same thing as making a sandwich

*head of lunchables tasting the first prototype* hmm ham needs to be slimier

I read that the best way to make babies happy is do things that simulate the womb and I was like wow the urge for nostalgia starts on day one

Today we all found out Cloudflare is a key jenga piece to the entirety of the internet

It's not about being ready someday, it's about being ready every day. Train at home with your own personal VR shooting simulator.

The test for ADHD should just be one question: “Do you want to do so many things at once but it becomes so overwhelming that you do nothing instead”

Movie theaters had the worst October to date and yeah if I’m going to send 50+ bucks on tickets, popcorn and the assortment of candies I need to enjoy myself then I’m going to wait until there’s a film that gets better than mixed reviews

When I have a “sent from iPhone” at bottom of my email I feel the freedom to write whatever incoherent message I want but for some reason when I send a text - which can be ONLY sent from my iPhone - I agonize over word choice and sentence structure

I heard someone complain that kids being on iPads is harmful but when I was growing up the top entertainment option was risking your life at an abandoned construction site

Explore how TQQQ enables investors to magnify a bullish view on the tech-heavy Nasdaq-100.

Sugar addiction is the only one people don’t take seriously: Friend: You don’t want candy? I thought you have a big sweet tooth Me: It’s actually called pre-diabetic

Me in the 2000’s: Anyone who pays for music is a sucker Also me: My 3 second Akon ringtone was only $19.99

Stores:  Here is the price  Car dealerships:  It’s a secret lol

“Get over it” Oh thanks didn’t think of that

Speak up. Spend freely. Tell Congress to create a de minimis tax exemption for Bitcoin that allows us to spend our money on gas, groceries, and everyday costs with no strings attached. Act today.

I’m noticing for Black Friday this year a lot of retailers keep the price the same and just add a higher previous price so the only deal I’m getting is being tricked into feeling good that I got a deal

“I just heard our mutual friend died! Do you know how?” No and I’m a little grossed out you asked even though I also want to know very badly

The test for ADHD should just be one question: “Are you comfortable with silence or do you need a video playing as you walk to the bathroom”