It’s my 274th day of roller skating.

He doesn’t understand the electoral college

What do you want to know?.

Today, on my 38th birthday, I was carded at breakfast when I ordered a mimosa.

Still on my bs if ur wondering

Hello twitter can I please have a lot of money??.

He’s never had to sync his outlook calendar

Me, out loud, during any true crime documentary: “can you imagine someone wanting to murder ME?? A low risk homebody??”.

Catching up on Olympics gymnastics and how many times can I say to my boyfriend “omg look how cute her butt looks” before he leaves the room?.

Deep down I knew those leftover tacos I left out too long were sketchy, but I ate them anyways. Now I am suffering.

It’s been 5 days with Ham Sandwich. He’s shown his personality more each day. He’s playful, goofy and loves to lay right on top of whoever is on the couch. He has no idea how to get up the stairs. He’s immediately everyone’s best friend. I’m so thankful we found each other🥰

Fate. Richmond animal control picked this big guy up when he was left behind after an apartment was abandoned. They needed an adopter with breed experience, a house, and a fenced in yard so here I am :) Welcome home Ham Sandwich

I still cry about my dog dying every single day.

My dishwasher broke and why can I never just get ahead?.

I think a lot of people snooze on hot and sour soup.

3 years ago today I threw my wedding rings into the sea off the coast of Oregon. It was pointlessly dramatic and I still have a little lol about it every May 30th

I drank 3 PBRs in the garage last night and experienced the entire spectrum of human emotions. I’ve got to get my head better.

They have arrived .(guest starring unpickled vegetables)

I just instacarted so many pickles.

I got stoned and tried to watch the new Fallout show but it was too scary for me🥹.

I am $ struggling after 4 months of unemployment over the summer, a broken arm, and now tons of vet bills. I work FT as a project manager making a decent salary but I’m still underwater and think I need a second job for a while. I also don’t want to burn myself out. Any ideas?.

It’s 3am and I haven’t been able to sleep since surgery this morning. I am so uncomfortable. The swelling in my abdomen is insane, my incisions are bruising to shit. My belly looks ~4 mo pregnant. I’m on 800mg ibuprofen, 500 mg Tylenol, 7.5 mg of oxy. I shouldn’t feel anything🥺.