No big deal, just my face on signs around the UK!!

We spend a lot of our lives being “sorted” by ideas of sex and gender. My essay is not a hot take or a manifesto. It is my experience that gender is a chaotic, multi-layered mess. And how embodiment still matters even when identity shifts. https://t.co/6LsFVUa3EY

4/ One of the ideas I explore is the “gender see saw”. In many queer relationships, when one person leans into softness or campness, the other quietly stiffens into “the man”. No one agrees to it. It just happens in the space between you.

9/ The essay does not offer a neat “how to fix your masculinity” guide. Instead, it sits with questions like: •How do we honour our genuine preferences without turning them into hierarchies of worth? • How do we notice our snap judgements without letting them drive the car?

12/ If any of this resonates, or irritates you in a way that feels interesting, I would love you to read the full essay and share it with someone who thinks about this stuff too. 🔗 Too Gay, Not Man Enough? Rethinking Masculinity as a Brown Intersex Man https://t.co/cizGxabXSv

11/ Masculinity, for me, is no longer a test to pass. It is a set of questions I am learning to ask with more care: Where did my ideas of “too much” or “not enough” come from? Whose safety were they protecting? Whose freedom did they limit?

1/ “Too gay.” “Not man enough.” I wrote a new essay about the quiet moments where those phrases still flicker through my mind, even though I know better. It is about masculinity, queerness, race, and the shame that lives under our politics. 🔗

Wrote an essay at 6am about why daddy culture needs to die. On ⁦@Grindr⁩ I’ve fielded countless messages from men twice my age. Respectful, entitled, complicated. Not all queer relationships need to be sexual. 👉 https://t.co/9sq5VFri5t https://t.co/0CCNuJcC6e

Wrote an essay at 6am about why daddy culture needs to die. On ⁦@Grindr⁩ I’ve fielded countless messages from men twice my age. Respectful, entitled, complicated. Not all queer relationships need to be sexual. 👉 https://t.co/9sq5VFri5t https://t.co/0CCNuJcC6e

The Complexity of Non-Binary Identities, a piece about the metaphors we reach for when language fails, the weight of visibility, and why my gender is more like a pizza than a pronoun. 🍕✨ Read here:

#Thread 🧵1/ I just published a new piece: The Complexity of Non‑Binary Identities. It’s 12 minutes of unpacking how we live in bodies that resist tidy categories, and how being asked to explain is often missing the point. https://t.co/ZZWR6EiU55

I am always interested in how history quietly shapes our expectations of the body, and how quickly we call something “normal” without asking whose standards we are using.

I wrote this for my parents but it’s applicable to anyone raising a child with differences. You’re not alone, and you deserve better. When Love Meets Silence: A Letter to My Parents about Growing Up in an “Ambiguous” Body. https://t.co/GJn0EKqxQW

Hi All! I used to speak a lot about being intersex here. Then I stopped. But I never stopped reflecting, questioning, or writing. I’ve moved my voice to Medium, and I’m exploring things I never could say in a single post. Here’s what you’ll find 🧵

Most people choose certainty. I’m choosing complexity. A thread on nuance, outrage, and why disagreement isn’t the enemy: Read “In the Age of Outrage, I’m Choosing Nuance”

Nuance is one of the most absent elements in today’s biggest debates. In our rush for simplicity or agreement, we often ignore the uncomfortable truth that life isn’t that neat. It’s through listening to others where we can find ourselves and improve our society.

Labels can guide, but they also confine. They serve a purpose in one context but if identity hardens around them, the line between clarity and separatism is blurry. As a way to find like-minded people? Great. As a full representation of who you are? Not so much.

We’ve siloed ourselves into fractured communities that function as gatekeepers, quick to dismiss those beyond their borders as inherently wrong. But there’s a crucial difference between maintaining peace, asserting boundaries, and living in alignment with your own truth.

A dominant narrative I grew up with is the belief that we should remove “toxic” people from our lives. But the term itself is slippery, often shaped more by personal bias than objective truth. Cutting out everyone you disagree with over time won’t make the world better.

I’d rather listen to a range of speakers/thinkers, to help me develop my own perspective than to rely on what I’m being sold/told. Unlearning is just as important as learning. It’s not about giving a platform for hate, it’s not even opposition research - for me it’s being human.

The answer for me is not being overly restrictive of where I get my information. Instead, it’s about broadening my worldview through actively listening to others. Yes, that includes people I may fundamentally disagree with. That doesn’t mean equal consideration necessarily.