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@angelicfemme444
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tw ed & bpd vent | vogue cigs & coffee 🕰 pro recovery ♡ bmi 11.3 (kinda moved to @lavendervogues ??)
she/her, 21, lesbian
Joined December 2022
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black coffee, 10k steps a day, pilates & power yoga, bmi 14s, 1k calories max
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"you're not anorexic if you binge, if you binge and restrict you have ednos"
have you ever spoken to a medical professional before??? 😭😭
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didn't realise how anorexic i look until my mum took a photo of my siblings and I at lunch today and oh my god 💀💀💀💀 its BAD
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anorexic autistics when the family plans don't work around their set eating schedules & times
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told my therapist about d3athsp0 today and she almost cried when i said that's my goal :/
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edtwt i have a confession 🫢 i haven't eaten under 700/800 calories in like... years
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just saw a bmi 10 anorexic working at maccies struggling to walk and immediately I'm like omg and my sister goes "yk you look like that right?" 😭😭😭
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adults of edtwt who were disordered as kids what's the stupidest thing u ever did bc i used to count my pasta cals so wrong I'd have a bowl of spaghetti w vegan bolognase and count it as 183 cals bc i didn't know the dry & cooked weights were different 💀💀
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MY THERAPIST GUESSED MY BMI AS 15 MAYBE I WILL OFF MYSELF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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HIT MY UGW LETS GOOOO!!! love being over 18 bc the doctor asked if i wanted help for my anorexia & i just said no 💀🫶
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look how far I'm bending over in this one guys omg i can't believe I'm lying about my bmi I'm actually bmi 17 🥰😚
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hot take most pro ana people aren't actually anorexic they're just on a diet and most anorexic ppl aren't pro ana bc who would rationally wish this hell of a disorder on anyone else
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this might sound insane but does anyone else find it kinda??? interesting how everyone else's bodies in your life stay the same, like idk how to explain it but I'll see friends from years ago who are the same weight ect and it's???? weird to me but kinda crazy like
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wtf do u do once u hit ur ugw like... u mean I've got to eat 1600+ cals a day to maintain??? r u joking???
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probably stupid question but how "safe" are the bmi 14s?? like i know the 13s are like danger zone but 14s?? (ed realistic answers pls i know being underweight in general isn't the safest)
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genuinely what bmi do u guys think she is bc she's so goals i actually would give anything to look like this
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people in my dms asking my intake r gna be really disappointed to find out its not 400 cals a day but over 1,200 😭😭😭
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ugly ass bcs but bmi 13! i think im finally starting to see a difference in my thighs?? especially in comparison to my pinned bc right??
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pls send me m3ansp0 n tell me I'm hug3 n f4t I need to be TR1GGEREDDD ASAP
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the way that i was in the bmi 13s here but i feel so much bigger now :(( i hate everything
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the way that i got more comments irl saying i was too thin at bmi 15 than the bmi 11s is kinda heartbreaking
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ignore the messy room & me dressed like a little boy but i can finally do this all the way up again eyyy
(an achievement for me bc i have the tiniest hands ever & my thighs r the biggest part of me lol)
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eds r insane cus i KNOW ive lost weight but i literally feel like i look somehow fatter
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do u guys ever have a low-key breakdown when u finish a packet of smth (like granola or chocolate) & realise how much skinnier you could be if you'd never bought/eaten it
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once again im asking for bmi guesses 😭😭 i keep seeing ppl on my tl at 13 who look sm smaller than me & body dysmorphia has been RAMPANT recently 😭😭😭
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"ana isn't a weight disorder" until you're in ed treatment, forced to have weekly weigh ins and see and discuss your weight constantly & considered "recovered" when you're weight restored 😭😭 like how tf am i supposed to heal like this
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everyone seems so interested in how i got to my current bmi like i have some interesting secrets and like,, there's nothing, my cal limit when im restricting barely dips below 900, i find it much easier to not binge & ive just been doing that since december !
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collective petition to stop edtwt discourse around eating 1.2k or more cals bc some of us are fighting for our lives on more cals than that 🙄🙏 you're gna take my ana diagnosis away because i ate 1.4k??? stfu like actually
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breaking my silence a lot of lw anorexic (im talking bmi 11-13) HAVE to eat more than 1k to go about daily tasks 🙄🙄
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ok edtwt what's the worst/grossest thing ur ed made you do? (pls help me feel better abt myself lol 💀💀💀)
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this shits so real 😭 i would literally be studying at oxbridge if i wasn't mentally ill
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god ik this is edtwt and being skinny is the goal but this isn't meant in a good way 😭 it hit me how unwell i look, i have the body of a child at 21 im less than half the size of my thin (but healthy) siblings, i don't look good this isn't a goal or an ideal
didn't realise how anorexic i look until my mum took a photo of my siblings and I at lunch today and oh my god 💀💀💀💀 its BAD
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it's time for study girl autum where i romanticise my sadness and forget to eat and prioritise my schooling & live off coffee
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CAL ESTIMATE PLS GUYS (sundried tomato, hummus n avo salad)
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can't be the only person who finds "goals" comments so tr1ggering 😭😭😭 i want to be "stay safe you look close to d3ath" not goals 😭😭
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being lectured by my clinic about how "dangerous" my bmi is is so fucking funny bc they literally think I'm bmi 14 still 😭😭😭
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hot take when you reach your ugw the thought of eating more and not losing will bring you so much anxiety and guilt you'll want to keep losing, you'll never feel skinny enough and maintenance cals will seem like far too much, because anorexia is a mh disorder and not a silly diet
maybe that will be an unpopular opinion but i’m honestly so excited about upping my intake after i will reach my goal weight and eating my maintenance calories (at least constantly eating 1000-1200 calories) like i’m getting so motivated only thinking about it 🥹
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me wondering why i keep losing as if i don't over estimate the cals in everything 💀💀 yes this 300 calorie strawberry 🥰
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so have we all just been collectively overeating orrr 🤭🤭🤭
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new years resolutions:
- get sexier and more insane
- smoke more cigarettes
- speedrun to bmi 12s
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born to have wide "birthing hips" forced to be an anorexic lesbian
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no bc i remember being in the bmi 15s and eating like 500-600 cals a day and feeling FINE if i did that now i swear i would crash so fast
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if i had these cheekbones with my bmi 13s body I'd be unstoppable
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proof i don't bend over in my bcs here's a video lol (i kept going on my heals bc i couldn't tell if my feet were in the vid from the angle of my phone lol)
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there's definitely a difference right?? or am I losing it
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at risk of organ failure & my heart stopping and i still can't bring myself to get better:( srsly hope i die i can't do this
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my entire life is just passing the time until i can allow myself to eat next
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would someone care to explain to me how i still feel so physically weak and hungry after eating 1.2k cals 😭😭
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this is gna sound insane but i can't gain on under 1,200 cals right??? 😭😭
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who tf gets their period in the bmi 12s is this a medical miracle orrr???
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this is as close i can get to trying to stand with my knees together lol
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binged on probably 2k+ worth of shite but i don't even care, call me a fake anorexic but i was so much happier & in my opinion prettier at bmi high 14s/low15s i don't even recognise myself in the mirror anymore i look so skeletal
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need to stop buying an xs when im rly not an xs but im still convinced a xxs will be too small for me 💀 anyways new pjs are 2x the size of me pls ignore how bloated i am even tho I've literally only had soup today idk what's wrong with my body
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does the chia seed water thing work bc im not abt to waist 70 odd cals on a tbsp of chia seeds if it's not gna do anything 😭😭
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can't get over how small i feel today omg bmi 13 cured my body dysmorphia fr
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rly wish this stupid cal discourse didn't impact me as much as it does bc i still feel so invalid for having to eat 1.2k to barely survive as if im not in the bmi 11s now 😭😭
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