Wrote a thing about sports.

John Mayer writing packet, anyone? Pretty please? @JohnMayer #LaterWithJohnMayer #Later #JohnMayer #LateNight #WritingPacket.

Join millions who have switched to Grok.

I don’t vote because I feel like my demographic has done enough.

Zoomers, let me be the first to introduce you to the movie, “A Clockwork Orange.” Have at it.

I had to stop micro-dosing. Mike Rowe was getting pissed.

I’ve never been married, but sometimes I wear a wedding ring to make people think that I have the potential to be loved. #relationships.

In Japan, the art of eating sushi off a naked woman’s body is called Nyotaimori, which is perfect for women who like to skip showers. #InternationalWomensDay.

I want to have a sexual relationship with sushi, because I like it raw, fishy, and prepared by the delicate hands of an old Japanese man.

I’ve recently become a hopeless coffee addict. I don’t know how people do it. No one at Starbucks will let me blow them for a laté.

Does gender fluid imply the existence of gender gas?.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but you just give it to me.

I don’t think stupid people should be allowed to have children. We don’t let most dogs have kids, and some of them are pretty smart.

Has cancel culture heard about the Bible yet?.

RT @DaveCroatto: Dipshit conservatives: There are TWO genders! . Also Dipshit conservatives: THIS POTATO IS A MAN!!!!.

Joe Biden: “Only businesses with 20 or less employees can apply for PPP benefits.”. Businesses with 22 employees looking at their staff:

RT @TheDailyShow: Tucker Carlson is the new Jeopardy champ

RT @ThaiRivera: What do Ted Cruz and Rush Limbaugh have in common? . They’re both in warmer places now. 😁💅🏽🚬.

For Lent I am giving up.

Okay whose Jon Stewart packet was a screenplay about 8 former colleagues and criminal specialists carrying out an assassination plot against a former conservative radio talk show host. .

RT @andrewmillah: @POTUS I’ve been pretty apolitical the past 4 years, but it’s kinda nice to see that Mr. Rogers has become President.