Alyssa Sabo
@alyssa_sabo
Followers
4,455
Following
937
Media
1,932
Statuses
7,854
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
NuNew 3rd Showcase
• 373606 Tweets
Cohen
• 114019 Tweets
$GME
• 89563 Tweets
#LovelyRunnerEp11
• 77426 Tweets
#キュウゴー
• 53012 Tweets
MY LOVE IS LIKE
• 44436 Tweets
GameStop
• 39150 Tweets
#CBÖğretmeneMülakatıKaldır
• 36604 Tweets
TREASURE COMEBACK
• 33124 Tweets
Aziz Yıldırım
• 28685 Tweets
LINEの新機能
• 27718 Tweets
Roaring Kitty
• 24524 Tweets
Hot Sale
• 21003 Tweets
Square Enix
• 20912 Tweets
Childish Gambino
• 19938 Tweets
Ravens
• 17538 Tweets
GET WELL SOON GYUVIN
• 16667 Tweets
Deco
• 15403 Tweets
$AMC
• 15336 Tweets
ACEITA ANITTA
• 14135 Tweets
Atiku
• 12885 Tweets
McDavid
• 12331 Tweets
Stevie Wonder
• 12015 Tweets
Qちゃん
• 10234 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Worship leader who makes everything a huge lesson from God
24
104
930
Why do alcoholics who want to quit drinking have to believe in God
254
151
3K
Christian male comic makes his comeback video after a failed cancellation.
48
138
1K
Me and my friend giving each other dating advice even tho we are both toxic and severely mentally ill
5
54
1K
I had anxiety and so I got a dog and my dog has more anxiety than me which has made me have more anxiety bc I am worried abt my dog. Pretty cool :)
17
16
1K
I have never felt more powerful in my life next to the love of my life Angelina.
7
11
1K
Hey Im a Christian male comedian and you know who is so dumb? Women who love fall. I’m gonna make parody videos of their dumb pumpkin heads and get paid lots of money doing this and heck might as well DM these loser women who are my fans pics of my dong!!!
9
32
795
Merry Christmas from my great uncle Al who had a lot of money but lived with his sister and her husband in a tiny bedroom, never married, and ate grilled cheese sandwiches every day for lunch.
20
20
679
This guy told me we matched in 2020 and I was like wait really? And then he said this :
8
3
572
A lot of ppl are asking me if this a true story. How in the hell would I make this crap up??
9
49
417
When ur aunt passes away and you inherit her raunchy outfits and even though she had huge naturals u still somehow fit into the clothes bc whatever was going on in sisterhood of the traveling pants was real.
6
2
378
It’s 2004. Ur parents r threatening divorce. Ur sister is only 2 yrs older than u (feels like 20) She doesn’t want to play Barbies anymore so u jump on the trampoline alone after school. The one thing that brings u solace? Blasting Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson on ur MP3 player
4
13
324
Pastor’s wife uses this story about her pastor husband telling her to trim her nose hairs to teach everyone about the Bible and God. This is why I think it should be illegal for Christians to post on social media.
14
8
317
I remember in my very Christian college this one girl spoke at a Bible study about being addicted to porn and everyone was like “omg😭🙏” and I later found out she was talking about watching rom coms.
14
7
315
The only guy who has ever ghosted me? Jesus Christ…but it was only for 3 days. :)
6
15
299
Journal entry from when I was working as a Christian camp counselor in 2010. Pretty normal stuff🙂
23
4
278
Guy I dated not in the industry: you should try commercials
My mom and Dad: you should try being on Netflix
My agent: you should try new headshots
God: I love you, Alyssa
Everyone: God isn’t real
Me: *gets bangs*
2
11
259
Thing I miss most abt dating Christian guys ? Them saying God told them to dump me. Honestly that shiz rocked.
10
7
251
In 2011, I thought being hungry for food in the morning was a major sin.
11
1
223
Growing up Christian means in your twenties some guy on a date explains to you that dinosaurs were real.
8
3
205
Celebrating my 11 year liver transplant anniversary today. Without that beautiful gift of organ donation, I would have never been able to join Twitter. RT if ur glad I’m alive.
3
31
202
Gotta be honest. I’m sick of the non-stop reminder that I’m in that category of high risk folks. When we aren’t in a global pandemic, I at least have some days where I’m not constantly reminded of my compromised immune system. Plz wear a mask so I can worry abt my other fears.
3
13
179
If I started a podcast that was a super deep dive on the psychology of the characters of Hey Arnold, would anyone listen?
18
6
173
Evangelical men will have sex one time outside of marriage and then say they’re addicted to porn and get an accountability partner and say they can’t kiss you or date you because of that but then marry a short blonde girl a week later.
12
6
171
Hey sorry for being anxious the other day, when I was 8 years old I was told by trusted adults that I deserved to go to hell simply for existing so that’s probably why I was weird.
3
11
166
in college this girl shared with us in Bible study that she was masturbating and everyone was like uhmmmmmm u need help and we can’t relate😶. I was just like damn she better get it figured out. Thinking back she was a real one and if ur reading this now queen HMU
3
3
159
Posted this montage of me absolutely killing it on every game show and lost followers??? Guess people just can’t handle a winner. Smh.
8
1
153
McDonald's has kale now. I mean I guess Old McDonald did have a farm. Idk guys. The world is a mess right now.
3
31
134
An improv coach who wore skinny jeans and ballet flats made me cry one time bc she yelled at me and said “talking to a frog was insane and u need to get real.” I’m sorry if I can’t talk to a frog then what is the friggen point of improv ????
9
1
140
Absolutely shocked to hear the news that this Christian pastor cheated on his wife.
11
9
130
One of my hinge matches agreed to go on a virtual date with me this FRIDAY on my Instagram live. I think I’m going to regret this forever. Details to come soon unless I change my mind.
7
1
130
Wow. it truly didn’t even occur to me that he didn’t say sorry one time in the video. I’m at a loss, folks.
1
1
130
I adopted a dog because no one will text me back!!!! Jk but I truly have never been more in love with a creature before sry to report I’m a dog woman now.
9
1
127
I am shaking😭😭😭I found an old journal that contains letters I wrote to my college boyfriend who I wanted to marry so bad. This is me talking abt what it’ll be like when we’re married:
24
2
123
Today is my liver transplant anniversary. I’ve been living life with my new liver for 9 years. My immunocompromised a$$ can’t believe we’re actually in a pandemic and the one little thing ppl can do to help ppl like me (wear a mask) is such a controversial topic!!! come on guys
1
7
122
Mission trips are so funny and not a good use of funds. It’s just a bunch of dumb horny teens going to a foreign country and painting a random wall that another group of Christian teens probably painted the month before.
3
2
123
Seems like nothing I tweet will get folks to Pokémon go to Walgreens or CVS to get vaccinated so instead I’ll just post this video of me relearning how to walk after my transplant. Get vaccinated so I can live long enough to see my life story made into a movie you freaks!!!!!
1
5
123
Now that UCB is back I am reminded of a time when I didn’t get Maude and at the time I told the guy I was seeing about it and i started to cry in Ralph’s and he said your stress is too much and then we broke up.
4
2
117
I won big money and prizes on the price is right but something I don’t often talk about is how an intern working that day of filming asked for my number and we made out a few days after I won big and he had nipple rings and I was worried he only liked me for my money and prizes
6
2
116
I once staged a protest in middle school choir bc I felt the altos weren’t getting enough credit for their part in carol of the bells. We made a sign that said “ding dong ding dong we don’t wanna sing this song.” I wish I could say this was a joke but it’s not :)
4
1
110
Is it brave✅or lame that I am driving two hours to do stand up to get paid in a hamburger and fries at the bar I’m performing at?
9
0
109
The moment when the pastor starts talking about his smoking hot wife
5
4
105
Stop worrying about getting retweets and start worrying about going on retreats with your church
3
3
101
This one goes out to Covid and everyone not wearing a mask and everyone partying like everything is fine.
2
10
101
My first acting experience was a play called “it’s not too late” where i played a girl who stood up for her faith and got shot. CLASSIC. One of my line’s was “you read the manual for a VHS player? Well that’s what the Bible is like for me..my manual…for life.” Have a great day!
8
1
104
I went on a date with a guy and then a few days later wound up in the hospital and he came to my hospital room one night and we made out haha and then he ghosted me I couldn’t believe it.
4
0
98
Replace Ellen with the little kid on tik tok who is grateful for the snacks his mom gives him.
5
4
102
15 Blessings in 2005. This is extremely insane. Had I kept on this path I would have been speaking at the RNC last night. & now I’m a proud socialist :)
15
0
99
Peggy Pence (Mike Pence’s teen daughter) is up early and spilling some major news!!
3
8
96
After I had my liver transplant my college BF and I split up and he told everyone I changed and he didn’t recognize me with my new liver and it was like yes my man I was dying before and I got the liver and my body and vital organs straight up began working.🤦♀️
3
0
96
Finally figured out the key to happiness. Staying off social media. But plz make sure to smash that like button.
1
3
99
Dear
@steveo
plz play my dad in a movie about me, a wannabe prankster trying to make it in a man’s world to make you (a legend prankster) proud.
4
0
98
I went to a very Christian college and my sister went to a state school about 10 mins away and I used to go visit her and I remember one time I noticed her roommate was doing hookah in their dorm and I started crying and freaking out hahahahahahah
4
0
95
Went to school with this kid who in 3rd grade knew he wanted to be a meteorologist and then he grew up to actually be a meteorologist and it actually pisses me off
2
5
92
I am very heartbroken 💔 I never knew Bob Saget personally but his portrayal of Danny Tanner brought me a lot of comfort as a little girl and well into adulthood. When he held Michelle…he held me.
3
2
95
I’ve seen every 90’s movie and this is every female antagonist.
1
10
92
It took me 15 years but I finally broke the dress code that Jerry Falwell set in place for me.
2
0
90
Tomorrow is my 10 year anniversary of when i was in a coma and got my liver transplant. The further out I get, the less I am able to use this an en excuse for my poor behavior. Normalize letting me use my transplant as an excuse for everything. I.e. Im late bc I had a transplant
2
1
94
How am I supposed to be “funny” today when my hair is this hot and sultry ???
2
0
91
My husband puts up with my weirdness and that is why today I’m wishing him an awesome sauce anniversary. Thanks for sticking around even though I’m such an awkward turtle 🐢🤪 being married at age 21 was the most amaze balls thing I have ever done.
2
2
93
Well paul Newman is trending …time to make it about me. My late, estranged, and “quirky” Aunt Jeanie had one line in the movie Slapshot and she said initially she was supposed to be the love interest but Paul Newman’s wife was jealous and so she was demoted to “waiter” 😂
6
0
92
My friends will really be crying over a man who broke their heart and this is the man:
1
4
92
My grandma does not text me back but she looks at my Instagram story. Kind of like all the guys I’ve ever dated.
1
7
85
Got dumped by a guy who wore trucker hats and now I’ve become a guy who wears trucker hats.
6
1
90
Someone reported my tweet and twitter messaged me offering me mental health help. I’m logging off this app forever.
6
0
88
Tik tok took this video down bc they said it violates our community’s standards ….so now it will live here. Lmk why u think it was banned.
19
3
88
I’m sorry but I literally in 2010 was trying to bone the Lord.
9
0
85
The pills I take for the rest of my life bc of my liver transplant make my immune system bad which is why I’m counting on you to get the vaccine. I got the vax but I have no clue if it works! So if I get covid and die bc of one of u unvaccinated freaks I’m going to be very sad!
2
4
87
What is a story that lets me know you live in the worst city in the world (LA)
Here’s mine:
Had a roommate who did reiki on people in our apartment and I regularly had to leave the apartment for her to do this because my “comedic vibrations were too intense”
9
2
86
Hey girlie. Just wanted to drop on here and say that person who you think is mad at you?
They are ❤️
4
4
87
My favorite day :) :) :) rent is due where I get to give a lot of money to my landlord bc he rly needs it during a global pandemic so he can continue to absolutely thrive :)
6
4
86
The ppl in charge of protecting Sudafed at Walgreens should be in charge of security at the capitol
1
7
85
I worked at the Beverly Hills hotel (rich ppl city) for like 2 weeks in 2014. there was 1 hilarious old waiter who knew EVERYONE. One time I spilled a drink on some1 and he was like you just spilled a martini on the voice of Winnie the Pooh. Good luck sleeping tonight, u idiot!!!
2
1
84
I was engaged at age 21. My fiancé wanted our reception entrance song to be “good life” by one republic and I wanted “tik tok” by ke$ha and I’m not saying that’s why it ended but that was a big moment for me and tbh it still is.
5
0
84
QAnon Teen has a message for everyone :) side note: I have a friend who rly says this stuff and it’s terrifying :)
6
3
83