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Introducing Grok Imagine.

Come see me and 16 of my closet musical friends blow the lid off The Royal Room next Thursday, June 26. Tickets available now at

Come to the Royal Room next week to hear Critical Mass celebrate Women's History Month by playing music by only female composers!.Critical Mass Big Band: Celebration of Women Composers.

It was just too much for the old girl and, while they were trying to get into their various positions, she split right up the middle!" The old woman fainted.

But what really finished her off was when I loaned her to four young roughnecks who wanted her for a good time. I warned 'em that she weren't no good, but they decided to have a go with her anyways. You know that those damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time?.

She was always taking on water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright.

Joe replied, "Oh, not really. The fact is: I'm glad to be rid of her. She was getting old and rotten. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like dead fish.

Joe and John were twin brothers. John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a little old lady met Joe on the street and mistook him for John. "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible.".

A man spent Saturday afternoon in his lawn chair, drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. His nosy female neighbor was outraged and shouted over at him, "You should be hung!" He sipped his beer and calmly replied, "I am. That's why she mows the lawn!".

Then the old man looks around nervously, making sure no one is listening. "But, you fuck one sheep. ".

Then the old man points out the other window. "Laddie, look out to sea. Do you see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me brow. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me MacGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo.".

Then the old man pointed to the bar. "Laddie, look here at this bar. Do you see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor. I worked on it for weeks. But do they call me MacGreggor-the-Woodworker? Nooo.".

An old Scotsman was talking to a young man in a pub. "Laddie, look out at that field. Do you see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I worked for months, but do they call me MacGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.".

How can a woman tell if she's ugly? She sits at the bar and knows the price of every drink!.

"Yep. No matter how hard we tried, none of us could open that damned jar!".

She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out—still nothing. Finally, we called the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too—and still nothing." The doctor was shocked. "Your neighbor?".

"Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand—but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand—still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand—nothing. She tried with her left hand—nothing.

The doctor handed his 75-year-old patient a jar and ordered him to bring back a sample so he could do a sperm count. The next day, the old man returned to the doctor with an empty jar. "What's this?" the doctor asked.

"We need to talk," thought the caveman.