alfie
@alfienxo
Followers
7K
Following
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Statuses
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literally is literally my favourite word because literally it is so useful.
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the first person to ever throw up was probably like ok what the fuck.
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those "when i first saw you i didn't like you" friendships be elite asf.
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reverse gatekeeping where i force everyone around me to get into a thing i like.
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the retirement age needs to be lowered to 28 because i've had enough.
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girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.
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in order to date me you need to defeat my 7 attempts to push you away.
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you ever want someone so bad you have to stay the hell away from them.
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i’m going to turn all this pain into something beautiful like a tweet or a close friends story.
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whoever unfollowed i hope you know your life is gonna be miserable af without me.
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