Alex Thee Scallion
@alexthescallion
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if Jessica Walter (RIP) and Ke$ha had a baby. mtg, gardening, pokemon, photography, poetry, & dogs. he/him 🏳️🌈
Boston, MA
Joined October 2017
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Pinned Tweet
–– i shouldn’t be allowed on grindr
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–– how, as a gay man in my 30s, do I make new friends without having to play dodgeball or kickball?
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–– be the nudity you want to see in the locker room.
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-- just shoveled my parents' driveway because I'm what, a good son
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–– should I stream my fitness boxing workouts?
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-- OK maybe this haircut is not so bad when I style it
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-- the worst part of wearing a mask is that no one gets to see my moustache
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-- if straight men insist on wearing 5 inch shorts than i am left with no choice but to wear 3 inch shorts
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-- why does my parent's house have hotel lighting tho?
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-- gay body dysmorphia is great, you can feel scrawny and fat at the same time
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-- i love making excuses to take a pilgrimage back to the south end 😍
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-- swim jocks are apparently a thing now and i am here for it
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-- idk what these muscles are called but they're making some points
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-- thank you target women's section for my new favorite sweatshirt
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-- my b*lls are too big for my new swimsuit ☹️
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-- decided to roller blade 1.5 miles to the gym to work out. i am mentally unwell.
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-- april 2020. this pandemic has aged me terribly.
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-- I mean I don't blame her tho
-- gym is empty and some Lady takes the bench right next to me and I can only surmise she was drawn to my singlet.
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–– now seated for … DEMON SLAYER
(? I think? Ryan??)
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-- are straight guys wearing shorter shorts these days or is everyone gay now?
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-- i'm not crying i just got sunscreen in my eyes
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-- When I came out at age 16 I distinctly remember being told, "you can't be a lawyer, there aren't any gay lawyers."
Well today I made partner at my law firm.
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