Alan Ferrier
@alanferrier
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I live in Glasgow and my hobbies include arranging my CDs in alphabetical order, discovering new and exotic whiskies, sheep-spotting and flying my kite.
Glasgow, Scotland
Joined April 2010
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You're going to lose your shit when you find out about the British Empire.
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Who would have believed that the perfect Wikipedia photo caption could have been improved upon?
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“Surely *this* must mean the end for Boris Johnson.”
—Ancient British proverb
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If you're a bit strapped, pop down to the Members' Dining Room at the House of Commons for pressed chicken and caramelised onion with tarragon and chive jelly, pickled vegetables and thyme sourdough at £2.84.
Don't forget to vote against free schools meals while you're there.
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Personally, I think we should spend £16.5 billion on the NHS and clap for the military.
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It's
#NationalBirdDay
, so here's a baby blue heron, especially for anyone who wonders what happened to the dinosaurs.
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That £2.6m Downing Street briefing room refit?
A firm called Megahertz carried out the crucial work, installing computers, cameras, microphones and control desk.
Megahertz is owned by Okno-TV. Based in Moscow.
At the time, No10 said they had ‘absolutely’ no security concerns.
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The Tories cheered as they voted to freeze firefighters' pay.
Pardon my French, but they're a shower of fucking sociopaths.
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*MISSING PERSON APPEAL*
It only takes 3.2 seconds to RT this, and help locate Sue Gray, 63, of London, last seen on the 18th February 2022.
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Donald Tusk is a carpenter's son from Poland. He grew up with gun battles on his street, ran with anti-communist gangs, was imprisoned by the Soviets and helped win Poland’s autonomy.
He has precisely zero fucks to give about Brexiteer Tories accusing him of “lacking manners.”
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"Take it on the chin"
"Let it move through the population"
"I shook hands with everyone"
"It's very important that people should be going back to work"
"Eat out to help out"
"’Tis the season to be jolly careful"
"We truly did everything we could to minimise the loss of life"
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The European Court of Human Rights was created to protect the UK from people like Suella Braverman.
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A reminder that Jeremy Hunt, when Health Secretary, sold the state-owned NHS blood plasma supplier - Plasma Resources UK - to Bain Capital, a US company co-founded Mitt Romney, in a £230m deal.
Bain Capital then sold it on to the Chinese Creat Group. For £820m.
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We’ve all been on a night out with a mate who says “It’s shit here - let’s go somewhere else.” Then when you leave you realise he has no idea where to go and the place you left won’t let you back in.
The UK is standing in a kebab shop at 2am arguing about whose fault it is.
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If you clapped for the NHS last year, don't vote Tory tomorrow.
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An extraordinarily powerful protest as thousands line the seafront at San Sebastian in the Basque Country of Spain to denounce the ongoing massacre of Palestinian civilians by the Israeli state.
The sirens you can hear in the background are those of Guernica.
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Jim Davidson's trending for some reason, so here's an extract from Benny Hill’s diary: “Went to showbiz party. Met Jim Davidson, a fine comedian and a gentleman. Talked to all three of them.”
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The school that Boris Johnson visited on August 26th to explain how safe schools are has just been closed due to
#Covid19
.
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As Biden's inauguration approaches, let's remember the Scottish Sunday Herald's preview of Trump's, exactly four years ago.
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As an antidote to that poisonous Britain First weasel having a go at the lifeboats, I give you Bill Bryson.
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I hold absolutely no candle for Prince Charles, but I do find it rather coincidental that a week or so after he criticises the government's Rwanda policy the Murdoch rags print a story about him accepting €1M in dodgy cash. In 2015. How long have they been sitting on that one?
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For any non-Scots wondering, a Scottish person saying that they "detest" something is being really, really polite.
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"We shall build a tunnel between Scotland and Northern Ireland," says man who failed to build a bridge between London and London.
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Carrie Symonds and Boris Johnson have named their baby son Wilfred Lawrie Nicholas Johnson.
“Will Law Nick Johnson”? Paging Dr. Freud.
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Children's Minister Vicky Ford says on Good Morning Britain that she was responsible for policies like extending free school meals.
Which she did by voting against free school meals, obviously.
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So apparently Prince Charles is the new Duke of Edinburgh which is a relief because Edinburgh was essentially defenceless for a few hours there.
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Suggestion: when Johnson inevitably leaves 10 Downing Street for the last time we all go outside and bang saucepans.
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The view from the Financial Times. Yes, that Financial Times.
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I am genuinely astonished that there's anyone left in Scotland who still believes Westminster rule best serves our interests.
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Your occasional reminder that last year Dominic Raab resigned in protest at a deal he himself negotiated then voted for the deal he said was worse than staying in the EU because it was better than staying in the EU.
He says he’s a “details man.”
We’re in deep trouble.
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"The Queen is being forced to decide which rank of military uniform the Duke of York can wear to his father's funeral after he demanded to go as an Admiral."
The UK is beyond bonkers.
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If the BBC had asked these questions about ten fucking years ago rather than having him on Have I Got News For You, Question Time and Marr every other week, maybe the UK wouldn’t be a complete and utter bin fire. Just a thought.
"Mr Farage, are you sure you don’t have to declare all that money? Almost half-a-million pounds from Mr Banks is an awful lot."
Today, Channel 4 News caught up with the Brexit Party leader. More at 7pm on Channel 4.
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2019: “We categorically promise that we will have the same or higher environmental standards than the EU.”
2021: “Do not swim at any of these beaches due to the raw sewage we've dumped.”
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Regent Street, London and Buchanan Street, Glasgow yesterday, 5th December 2020.
London image credit: Martyn Wheatley
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Today I learned that the £323 per day claimed by peers in the House of Lords is tax-free.
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“I’ve been all round the country listening” Theresa May tells
@Channel4News
.
She landed at Glasgow Airport at 3pm, visited Bridge of Weir, 12 mins from the airport, and flew out again at 6pm.
No press allowed, no record of what was said.
That's her "listening" to Scotland.
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Dear England,
We'll take 30 of your refugees if you take Douglas Ross.
Love,
Scotland.
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Time allocated at Westminster for tributes to Prince Philip: 7½ hours.
Time allocated at Westminster for scrutiny of final
#Brexit
deal: 5 hours.
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Truss visits Scotland for a day.
Sunak visits Scotland for a day.
Neither ask us what we want.
Both tell us what we're "allowed".
Like they see themselves as some kind of Viceroy.
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Underbelly is charging £16 for tickets to Edinburgh's Torchlit Procession and £12.50 for the Loony Dook.
Both used to be free.
Why should we pay Underbelly to take part in our own traditions?
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UK: “A million Union Jacks, lots of nuclear bombs and a new jet for Boris, please.”
Scotland: “Nah - you’re grand. We’ll give our NHS staff a decent pay rise instead.”
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Jim Davidson's trending again for some reason, so another opportunity to trot out the extract from Benny Hill’s diary in case you didn't see it last time: “Went to showbiz party. Met Jim Davidson, a fine comedian and a gentleman. Talked to all three of them.”
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Wee girl outside the British High Commission in Kingston is holding a placard which reads, “Kings and Queens, Princes and Princesses belong in fairy tales - not in Jamaica.”
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The thugs in Glasgow’s George Square are shouting "Fenian bastards" and singing "Rule Britannia" while attacking asylum seekers protesting their living conditions.
Your silence has been noted,
@RuthDavidsonMSP
,
@Jackson_Carlaw
,
@murdo_fraser
,
@AnnieWellsMSP
,
@ScotTories
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The view from the Netherlands - cartoon published in NRC Handelsblad evening newspaper:
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Conservative MP & former Culture Secretary Karen Bradley said: "It is utterly unacceptable and disgraceful that fans booed Prince William. All necessary action should be taken to pursue those responsible."
And then do what, exactly? Is it illegal to be a republican these days?
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"You do? Oh, that's wonderful! My name? It's Milo Yiannopoulos"
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"'Austerity' is the idea that the worldwide financial crash of 2008 was caused by Wolverhampton having too many libraries."
—Alexei Sayle
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Amazing news - it looks like
#NotreDame
's south rose window, at least, has survived largely intact. Kudos to the
#Paris
firefighters.
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UK Supreme Court: "The Scottish Parliament cannot legislate for a referendum."
UK Government: "We note & respect the unanimous ruling from the Supreme Court today."
UK Supreme Court: "Flights to Rwanda are illegal."
UK Government: "We don't like this law so we're changing it."
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This is a genuine question from the 2011 Eton College entry examination.
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Imagine, if you will, that Nicola Sturgeon and SNP staff had hosted multiple parties at Bute House during lockdown last Christmas. Imagine the newspaper front pages. Imagine Reporting Scotland. Imagine Newsnight. Imagine Scotland Today. Imagine Call Kaye.
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I don’t want Johnson to resign. I want him arrested, charged, tried, convicted and imprisoned.
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Woman who hasn't had a day off in 10 months attends funeral of colleague where she's stalked by fucking ghouls from the Sun.
#AlternativeHeadline
#DontBuyTheSun
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Ann Widdecombe: “No one has the right to cheap food."
But if you're feeling a bit strapped, pop down to the Members' Dining Room at the House of Commons for pressed chicken and caramelised onion with tarragon and chive jelly, pickled vegetables and thyme sourdough at £2.84.
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BREAKING: Douglas Ross admitted to hospital with whiplash caused by excessive and extreme U-turns.
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TM: "There's a child eating a free school meal!"
RD: "Leave it to me, boss..."
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Never, ever forget the role of the BBC (and Kuenssberg in particular) in boosting the profile and bloated ego of the charlatan and fraud that did so much harm.
The BBC - the so-called "public service" broadcaster - utterly failed us.
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The BBC in the past 24 hours:
- David Attenborough: cancelled
- Gary Lineker: cancelled
- Fiona Bruce: "He only broke her nose once"
Public service broadcasting, eh?
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Farage claims on
#ITVLeadersDebate
that he never promised £350m a week for the NHS.
To be fair there's no evidence that he said it, apart from the video of him saying it.
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#NotreDame
had three beautiful rose windows. The south window was constructed around 1260 and restored in the 18th century.
It survived countless wars, revolution and has now probably been lost - after almost 1000 years. A tragedy for Paris, France, Europe and the world.
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Robin Cook's gravestone in Grange Cemetery, Edinburgh.
The inscription states: "I may not have succeeded in halting the war, but I did secure the right of Parliament to decide on war."
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Roses are red,
Your passport is blue.
Now stand over there,
In that very long queue.
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Looks like the Tories are going to miss out on the 65 seat target required to block a second independence referendum.
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Well, colour me surprised. The police inspector who shopped Diane Abbott for drinking on a train faced disciplinary action for comparing gay equality to Nazi Germany, online rants about “left-wing idiots” and migrants who have “turned London into a foreign city.”
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His name may have been Wang Wei-Lin. None of us knows what he looks like, but
#OTD
29 years ago he was the bravest person in the world. This is the uncropped version of Jeff Widener's famous photo of Tiananmen Square, Beijing, 1989.
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We tried to tell you that Johnson would be shit.
Love,
Scotland.
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Every word of this, from economist, writer and journalist David McWilliams, via the
@IrishTimes
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Spitting Image will be returning to our screens in the autumn after a hiatus of 24 years. Hoping they have a puppet of Rees-Mogg as a haunted pencil.
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I also detest the Tories and everything they stand for.
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The Salmond / Sturgeon issues have precisely zero bearing on the question of whether Scotland should be an independent country or not.
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For someone who's dead-set against socialism, wee Darren Grimes seems to love being publicly-owned.
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New background for your Zoom calls this week. You're welcome.
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He's now lost his wife, his girlfriend and his job. If he has a truck and a dog this could turn out to be the best Country & Western song ever.
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Via the
@FT
: "Scotland — which has its own state-owned water company — massively outperformed its neighbours with water standards similar to much of Scandinavia."
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"The UK is facing the collapse of the supply chain in the next two to three weeks."
This warning is from the Road Haulage Association, whose chief executive was interviewed by the BBC this week.
The BBC has not published the interview nor the warning.
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Scottish Tory Twitter Watch (update).
Zero tweets from:
Jackson Carlaw for 38 hrs
Ruth Davidson: 40 hrs
Murdo Fraser: 41 hrs
Annie Wells: 36 hrs
Adam Tomkins: 83 hrs
Jamie Greene: 34 hours
David Duguid: 33 hours
@ScotTories
: 40 hrs
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You see that flag being lowered? That’s your EU citizenship being taken from you, against your will, by a British government implementing the result of an advisory referendum mired in illegality and dark money. It’s time, Scotland.
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Happy 207th birthday to Charles Dickens who, 180 years ago, used the word "gammon" to describe a large, self-satisfied, middle aged man who professes an extreme patriotism in large part to disguise his essential selfishness and corruption.
(Nicholas Nickleby, Chapter 16)
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Loving the rumours that in Parisian diplomatic circles Johnson is being referred to as “le cochon de poivre”.
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Yer actual Daily Mail claiming that Edinburgh and Glasgow are "no-go" areas for white people.
Must remember that the next time I visit Edinburgh's Mosque Kitchen for one of their excellent curries, alongside the hundreds of other white people who do the same weekly.
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When did UK politicians parading around wearing uniforms emblazoned with their rank become a thing?
I'm sure we've seen this sort of thing before. It didn't end well.
Just waiting for Jacob Rees-Mogg in his "Witchfinder General" outfit now.
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Gordon Brown, 2014: "Why break up something that serves Scotland so well - and also serves the UK well?"
Gordon Brown, 2022: "People will go hungry and cold. I'm seeing poverty in my home town that I never expected to see again in my lifetime."
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