Just filled up my car and it was $87 for Premium Plus. Did it suck? Yes.
Am I going to vote Republican in November because of it? No. Because gas prices will level out, but an authoritarian government is forever.
I don’t know about you, but as we appear to be on the brink of World War III, I’d rather have the guy with 50 years of U.S. government and foreign policy experience at the helm than the reality TV show guy who sells sneakers and wanted to nuke hurricanes.
Hey maga, did you hear Brandon is securing the border and he got Mexico to pay for it? True story. Because that’s what REAL presidents do.
They solve big problems, not create them. 💙🇺🇸
Hey MAGA, just a reminder that the E. Jean Carroll lawsuit was filed in 2019 before Joe Biden was president. This civil trial and verdict have absolutely nothing to do with the President, or the federal government. Dolts.
Is it weird that American democracy might ultimately fall because some reality TV show guy famous for saying “You’re fired” simply could not accept that he was fired?
Imagine living in Katie Porter’s district in Orange County and having her as your brilliant Congresswoman and then going “nah, we’ll go with the lobbyist who has FOUR felony indictments for this election.” 🤦🏻♀️
Can we just pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that Trump, a “president” of the United States, was being advised by the MyPillow guy and the CEO of Overstock?
Look. I don’t give a flying fack who Fani Willis slept with, or when she started sleeping with him. You know what she didn’t do? Conspire in a racketeering plot to overturn the votes of a Georgia state election.
Case closed. ⚖️
Look media, we get it.
Most Americans don’t want a rematch with two 80-year old candidates. Most Americans don’t want to relive 2020 again. Makes sense.
But you know what else? Most Americans don’t think a 4x indicted ex-president with 91 felony counts should be normalized as…
Rachel Maddow just flawlessly rattled off every major Biden accomplishment in 60 seconds.
That clip is a f’cking masterclass in messaging and every Dem should watch it, memorize it and repeat it to anyone “on the fence” who is willing to listen. 🔥
A letter for
@TheRock
There are lots of celebrities who have the wealth and massive platforms to drive change, but few who actually are willing to do the hard work to help those less fortunate, or make the planet a better place. You’re one of them.
The work you’ve done for…
Hi MAGA Republicans. Just wanted to share this info. 30% is not half the country. It’s not half of anything.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 🙋🏻♀️
As you inevitably stumble upon those horrific images of the Allen Texas shooting victims, remember there are Republican members of Congress that proudly wear this pin to glorify the gun that was used to kill them. Then, get ready to vote them the f’ck out in 2024. 🔥
Hey media, thanks for the update on Biden eating ice cream! I missed the part about how his opponent tried to overturn the 2020 election and is actually running again to destroy America. Will you be covering that?
If Liz Cheney loses tomorrow, that’s a reflection on the people of Wyoming and the sad, pathetic state of the Republican party. It is not a reflection on her. And it’s also a shame. 🇺🇸
I hope the five hack Supreme Court justices watch Jamie Raskin during today’s Jan 6 hearing, so they can see what it looks like when a REAL Constitutional expert defends and protects the Constitution.
Trump’s Secret Service agents were allegedly banging two female members of the Trump family. You think they’re not going to lie about him throwing a fit and attacking one of their own? Come on, man.
Dear conservative strategists trying to rebrand Pro Life to Pro Baby because you know how unpopular your position is on women’s reproductive rights:
We suggest you rebrand to Pro Birth.
You seem to care a lot about fetuses. You are sickly obsessed with forcing births.
But you…
Boom boom clap.
Boom boom clap.
Buddy, you're an old man, dumb man.
Pleading with your Truths looking guiltier every day.
You got paint on your face, big disgrace.
Jack Smith is gonna put you back in your place.
Hear it?
We will, we will mock you.
We will, we will mock you.
You want to make America great again? Here’s my 5 point plan.
1. Reverse Citizens United
2. Abolish the Electoral College
3. Defund the NRA
4. Defeat MAGA at the ballot box at every local, state and federal level
5. End Daylight Saving Time
I support this message. 🇺🇸
Here’s how I imagine things went down at SNL. All the female cast were eagerly awaiting to hear who was getting the coveted part of Katie Britt and then Colin Jost goes, “oh, my wife can do it.”
And that was that.
Hi House GOP,
Just a friendly reminder. We will never forgive you for what you are doing to Ukraine right now, and we will never forget.
See you in November. Pack your bags.
Love,
Real America
I can’t believe we have 8 more months of hearing about the presidential campaign for a man who tried to overturn an American election.
It’s absolutely mind blowing this is where we are as a nation.
Dear Boomers,
You lived through the civil rights movement.
You fought for women’s rights in the 70s.
You paid into social security your whole lives.
You vote more reliably than any age group.
Do not let the GOP take away everything your generation fought for.
Vote Blue. ✌️
My bestie was at that parade today. I’m angry and frustrated. I feel instead of raging against Jon Stewart and bickering about the president’s age, we should channel that outrage and energy into ensuring the Dems get a supermajority in Congress. Because despite us showing up in…
Look, if I was 81 years old, I’d probably confuse Britney Spears and Taylor Swift too. But at least he didn’t try to overturn the results of a free and fair election.
Get your shit together mainstream media. Code red. 🚨
Does Kevin McCarthy understand he’s not Speaker of the House yet? Hell, he’s not even the presumptive speaker. Why’s he running around threatening “impeachments.” 😂
Pay attention to what Greg Abbott is doing bussing migrants to DC. People who came here with nothing and only want to make a better life for themselves. People willing to work in the fields of Texas, transported for a press stunt. Pay attention. That’s the future of GOP America.
Things Biden can do that Trump can’t:
1. Ride a bike
2. Have a great marriage based on love, not money and appearances
3. Own a pet
4. Love his sons
5. Take a joke at the White House Correspondents' dinner
6. Wish people a Merry Christmas without saying Rot in Hell. 🇺🇸
Four years ago, I was headed to the gym paranoid and clueless about how the Covid virus was transmitted. Then my gym shut down. Then my company started losing frontline employees to illness. Then people started dying in the hundreds every day.
And a gym being closed was the…
If Bill Clinton’s deposition about his sex life was made public as evidence of a “crime,” then you better be damn sure the American public has the right to watch the trial of the man who tried to defraud the U.S. government and end American democracy.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any pain. I only wanted one time to see you laughing.
I only want to see you laughing with a...
If pulling a fire alarm in Congress is grounds for expulsion for a security violation, cool.
While you’re at it, expel the Congresswoman who texted out the Speaker’s location during a violent insurrection.
I played the lottery yesterday and lost.
I wasn’t in the room when the numbers were selected, but the winning numbers were published for all who played.
I didn’t take my ticket in and insist that I won even though my ticket showed I didn’t.
I didn’t go to the local media and…
Gavin Newsom has it right. Call the GOP out on their hypocrisy. Lead the narrative. Play offense. Rally the team.
We need more of this from the right people — Newsom, Pete, AOC, Beto, Porter, McMorrow, Swalwell, Warren —and less of the other stuff.
This is your daily reminder that MAGA is less than 20% of the voting electorate.
MAGA is a minority movement.
If real patriots from all parties came together in 2024 to defend democracy, MAGA would be obsolete.
If you support Biden, but also aren’t afraid to say you like Pete Buttigieg or Katie Porter or Gretchen Whitmer or Gavin Newsom, we should be friends. 💙🇺🇸🙋🏻♀️
If you’re voting Republican because you’re concerned about gas prices, pause for a moment, take a look outside your polling location or ballot box, and ask yourself, “why are there men dressed in tactical gear with guns outside my polling location in America?” That’s your future.
Why is the press talking more about Trump’s impending announcement of a campaign run than his impending indictment for stealing Top Secret documents from the United States government?
To all the right wing nuts losing their minds over the sex video in the Senate hearing room, listen up.
That aide should 100% be fired. He has poor judgment. It is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior in any workplace. His bad decisions are not those of his boss.
There. See…
Remember when Trump was president and gas was cheap because there was a global pandemic and no one was driving and everyone was dying?
Those were the days.
-Republicans
On the note of Katie Porter, she’s not wrong on the tactics that were used to defeat her. It’s politics.
But as a once beloved smart Dem leader with a whiteboard, we know, and SHE should know using words like “Rigged” is a dangerous statement – and extremely disappointing.
Hey third party voters, here are some things to think about.
Without Jill Stein in 2016, there would be no Trump and the threat to democracy. Roe would still stand.
Without Ralph Nader in 2000, there would be no Iraq War. And we’d be 20 years ahead on fighting climate change.
I know everyone says don’t pay attention to polls, but putting poll demographics aside, the fact that Biden and Trump are consistently polling dead even should be an alarm bell.
One of these candidates has the best first-term record of any president in decades, and the other is…
Today some maga told me Joe Biden is “pretending” to be president and I had to explain that the only guy pretending to be anything is the one who goes on tour to state fairgrounds to perform his old hits from 2015, like a washed up 80s band.
People of Florida, please, please don’t leave your animals behind when you evacuate! Never leave your dogs chained or constrained outside. And if you don’t evacuate and see a stray animal in need, please be kind and take it in. They need help too. Stay safe. ❤️🐕🐈
#HurricaneIan
Leprosy. Measles. If there’s an eradicated disease that’s going to resurface, it’s sure to happen in Florida.
Thanks antivaxxer dipshits.
You’re really making America great again.
Amy Coney Barrett is the least experienced Supreme Court Justice in 30 years. And yet here she is, with a lifetime appointment, setting the lives of millions of women backward by 50 years.
It is said that on a dark cold night in Arizona, you can see a ghostly woman wandering along the Verde river, weeping and wailing in search of her missing votes. They call her “La Kariona” - which means sore loser in Spanish.
There are a dozen or so people who should be in charge of Dem messaging for the midterms. James Carville is one of them. But you know who shouldn’t be in charge? Whoever is doing it now.
Dear Gen Z, frustrated progressives and third party voters.
The choice in 2024 isn’t about Biden vs Trump. It’s not about Biden’s policies vs. your idealistic view of what America should be. It’s not about climate action, or lack thereof.
It’s about whether or not the America…
Hi CNN. Here are people who we never need to hear from again. Stop interviewing them.
1. John Bolton
2. Bill Barr
3. Ronna McDaniel
4. Mark Esper
5. Andrew Yang
6. Mia Love
7. And throw Jeffrey Toobin in for good measure.