Meg Conley🕸
@_megconley
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✒️ I write Pocket Observatory.
Denver, CO
Joined November 2011
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An English professor emailed me. She’s teaching my Harper’s Bazaar piece. Wanted to know if she could record a Zoom interview to share with her classes. AND SHE OFFERED TO PAY FOR CHILDCARE DURING THE INTERVIEW. Could you imagine if everyone was so considerate. She’s my hero.
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Childcare for my 4yo costs over $20k a year. TRANSPARENCY ALERT: I made $30k last year. Childcare is not deductible. Freelancers like me can't have FSA accounts for childcare. Even working full-time, I am completely dependent on my husband's salary to keep working. Do you see?
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I can't tell if the person who staged this photo shoot has read too much Greek mythology or too little ⚡️🦢👸
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I want to know how many moms listened to Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow et al and invested in crypto. I want to know how many of them just watched their money disappear. I want to know how empowered they feel being "part of the conversation" now.
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I thought the replies to this would be like, “Oh! That’s not representative of us here in Sweden!” But instead it’s a bunch of people saying, “Yeah, that’s pretty normal.” Huh.
Not here to judge but I don’t understand this. How’re you going to eat without inviting your friend?
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UBI + universal childcare could get us all there. Hell, one or the other could get LOTS of us there. HELL. JUST LET ME DEDUCT CHILDCARE. That would at least make it so that once my taxes and childcare were done, I wasn't in the red, WITHOUT THE HELP OF MY HUSBAND'S JOB.
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Are you a woman who invested in crypto after hearing Witherspoon, Kunis, Paltrow or other celebrities say more women needed to get into the space? I'd like to talk to you for a story. My DMs are open. You can stay anonymous. (Please retweet)
I want to know how many moms listened to Reese Witherspoon, Gwyneth Paltrow et al and invested in crypto. I want to know how many of them just watched their money disappear. I want to know how empowered they feel being "part of the conversation" now.
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Guess how much a publication just offered me last week to write a 2500 word essay? $400. I said no. Um! Guess that's why writers need newsletters. I've gotten tips bigger than that. I love my readers. So much.
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Readers help me work. And so does my husband's job. It would be really, really nice if I only had to depend on the former. Not because my marriage is in trouble, but because economic empowerment should exist for all people - including moms like me.
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"Capitalism needs care work, but it can’t value it."
brb adding
@harpersbazaarus
to my little "where my writing has appeared" bit of my profile while I cry *childhood dreams coming true* tears into my second cup of coffee.
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Watching the Oath Keepers eagerly form stacks to breach the capitol while remembering how long police waited to form a stack to breech a classroom. America, you shattered state.
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He can't quit and be with the kids because $30k isn't going to cut it for our family of five. I'd have to make A LOT more money for our family to stop needing childcare. Plus, we both like working.
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Most period tracker apps share your data with third parties. That means your cycle, the symptoms you recorded, all of it. In a post-Roe world, this can be used as evidence against you and/or people who assist in getting you an abortion. Delete the apps.
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Talked about SCOTUS today with my mom. She said, "I was raised to think gay marriage was wrong, Roe should be overturned. But you get older + learn to unlearn what you were taught. I thought everyone was learning with me. But we're going backwards. Back past my raising, even."
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My husband has a great job with great pay. And so I can work now, by writing or in a bookshop. But like...what if I could just...work? No matter what? (And related, what if we saw raising children *as work*? GLORY.)
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When my husband was a kid, his mom dropped a gallon of milk in the grocery store parking lot. It hit the asphalt at just the right angle and burst. His mom started to cry. She couldn't afford to buy another gallon. They didn't have milk that week.
a thread 1/
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People advocating for matriarchy over patriarchy don't understand the problem is power, not gender. In a matriarchy, the vulnerable would be created (vulnerability is constructed) + exploited too. I don't know how we solve the problem of power, but girlbosses aren't the answer.
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They didn't fall, they were pushed.
It's estimated that 3.7 million children were kept out of poverty in December when the last child tax credit payment was made. In January, the first month without the deposits, 3.7 million children fell into poverty.
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I was there. Her speech was unhinged. AI in national defense, bitcoin, and man and woman are two sexes.
Ma’am this is a liberal arts graduation ceremony.
It wasn’t just students booing. Boos sounded out from the entire arena. Go Cowboys!
⚠️ word on the street is WY senator Cynthia Lummis was booed during her commencement speech at the University of Wyoming graduation by students 👀. She stated that there are only two genders and students erupted in chants to get off the stage, etc. 👀👀👀
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Something about being raised Mormon in Southern California in the 90s is : I thought I was raised in the Religious Right and had a firm grasp on what the Religious Right was. I was not and did not. Talked to lots of Mormons who came to this same realization over the past 5 yrs.1/
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Hi! Even if it WAS* illegal for a bishop to report child abuse, reporting child abuse is the only acceptable response to learning about child abuse! Hope this helps!
*it is not illegal, of course! Despite what the
@Ch_JesusChrist
lawyers might be trying to imply!
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Weren't you rich women rich enough? You're still rich now, even after this. What about the women who listened to you because you felt familiar and sure?
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The Mormon mom who found out her son was still in Patriot Front when he was arrested in Idaho, kicked him out of the house + said she's never going to stop talking about it so Patriot Front thinks her son is too big of a liability to keep as a member because she has a big mouth.
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Also, MUCH of that $30k was through one time tips - I cannot depend on this year even being that good! It might be better! It might be worse! AND we have three children. We've never been able to afford more than one in care.
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Everybody is rightfully dragging this.
Can I just add that “not to document your birth story” is particularly sinister. Modesty culture is so rapacious it makes a woman’s body a consumable commodity even as she labors in birth. A woman is never safe with a man like Brian.
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My 13 yo picked up Pride and Prejudice on her own the other day. I kept my cool! Then at breakfast this morning she said, “Jane just came down with a cold.” I flipped most of the scrambled eggs out of the pan when I started jumping up and down in excitement.
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I'll save how much a month we pay for our neurodiverse child to get the education and care SHE needs for another thread. Because guess what? IT'S MORE MONEY.
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@lyzl
I thought I was over charismatic leadership but I take it all back, I'll follow her anywhere
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@AnaMardoll
Oh thank you so much for reading! And yeah, that was skipped over in my class too. I was so grateful when
@GuardianJessica
asked me to adapt the original piece for the Guardian! Here’s the original with, I am afraid to say, even more horrifying facts.
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I am so furious with every white feminist who's spent the pandemic insisting liberation must be found in the market. The market isn't here to liberate anyone of anything but their future.
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I am the mother of a queer daughter. She's spoken of God with understanding I did not give her since she was a toddler. She knows God. God knows her. God knows her because God made her - as she is. And God wants her to love as she loves - fiercely and forever.
#GeneralConference
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Also I don’t know who needs to hear this (ahem JD Vance) but you can grow up in a house where 🥛 can’t always be replaced, become a dad that *can* write the check AND STILL REALIZE THAT LACK OF OPPORTUNITY IS NOT DUE TO *NOT* WORKING HARD ENOUGH. IT IS DUE TO SYSTEMIC INEQUALITY.
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I do not have a degree. Writing and retail work are my only marketable skills. Both fairly underpaid jobs. I wasn't able to work for a long time because we could not afford childcare.
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Kids having absolute panic attacks because of the fireworks being shot off in this neighborhood. They sound different than gunshots! But one kid said, “I’ve just gotten really afraid of the sounds of explosions because I listen for shots everywhere.” Happy birthday, America!
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I said everything reported in this article would happen if Roe was overturned. There’s no vindication in being right. My daughters are going to reap this bitter harvest.
In Wisconsin, a woman bled for more than 10 days from an incomplete miscarriage after emergency room staff would not remove the fetal tissue
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My dad died of septic shock caused by bacterial pneumonia developed during chemo. This last weekend, my daughter went into septic shock caused by bacterial pneumonia. And she’s okay now. But the horror of the repeating themes of mortality is kind of starting to wash over me.
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4 yo introducing herself to a kid at the park, “My name is Brontë! I’m named after 3 famous writers! Who are you named after?” And….
That’s quite the flex. I’ve only told her who she’s named after once. Def over a year ago. How long has she been introducing herself like this??
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Me: Hiiiii! How was school?
4 yo: Mistakes were made. I don't want to talk about it.
Me: Mistakes? Were made?
4yo: Two mistakes. That's all I want to say.
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My kid won first prize in her National History Day competition yesterday. Topic: the nuclear energy debate after Chernobyl. A judge asked her if it'll ever be safe to have nuclear energy. She said, "Well, like I said, it's safe now. It's people that make technology unsafe." Welp.
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Couldn’t see my usual Dr today for my ADHD meds management appt. Saw a new one and got the “I know amphetamines make us feel good but they’re not good for us” talk. And like, do I need to give her the “I no longer feel so overwhelmed I feel like driving off freeways” talk or 1/
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13 yo has friends over. They watched Never Been Kissed. They hated it 🥰When Mr. Coulson was dancing with Josie and said, “I have something to tell you…” My daughter yelled, “It better be ‘you passed the SAT’ because that’s all you should be telling her!” The kids are all right!
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Mothers in Ukraine, I'd like to help the world witness you. If you'd like. Write a piece (paid) about Ukraine for my newsletter. Anything about your home, your country. A memory from your childhood kitchen. Anything. Email meg
@megconley
.com pls rt
@olgarithmic
@olgatokariuk
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At the ER with my 13 yo. Running lots of tests. She’s anxious about being here. Her heart rate went down a little when I turned on one of her favorite shows
#SomebodyFeedPhil
So
@PhilRosenthal
is now one of my favorite people.
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The Pride event Patriot Front wanted to terrorize was for families. There was a "Color Kindness Chalk Art Challenge" and bubble wands for kids. They wanted to make kids feel afraid. This is DIRECTLY related to our country's shrugged shoulders about children being shot at school.
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Hey moms! Invest in these buttery soft leggings! I mean crypto!
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Joyce McKinney+Keith May kidnapped Anderson, chained him and McKinney raped him, repeatedly. She stalked him for years. In 2019, she was living in her car when she killed a Holocaust survivor in a hit+run. What part of this is funny. The Mormon part?
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If you look at this stills below this video - a cop has a parent pinned to the ground. They were keeping parents from going in to save their babies when the cops refused to go in.
The police are beyond redemption. It is (beyond) time to find a new way to do things.
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Wait. I made $29,845 and some change last year. So...not $30k. LESS I LEAD YOU ASTRAY.
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Offering enrichment through exposure to our kids isn't a real opportunity if it's not accessible to every kid no matter their financial situation. The point in our conversation that is still piercing my heart? When my husband said,
"Only poor kids have to work to have fun." x/
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Teachers deserve to make a living wage. Restaurant managers and workers deserve to make a living wage. Unpaid care workers deserve to make a living wage. People without credentials? Living wage! Everyone deserves a *living* wage. Hope that clears everything up for everyone.
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Anyways, I am not asking for money here by sharing my tip page. You don't owe me $ for this thread! But sharing it to illustrate that readers understand childcare needs to be funded. Why can't the government?
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Like, the economy is made up, folks! We choose to devalue some work and value other work! Writers could make more money! More importantly, so could full-time unpaid caretakers. So could retail workers and on and on. We've chosen to make some work under/unpaid.
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I’m on 15 mg extended release and can consistently think and write and not want to die for the first time ever and I just wonder if treating a patient like an addict because they’re on a life-saving medication that also has potential side effects is THE WAY.
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I keep reading about the emasculation of men because they're expected to do/care about care work. I don't get it. My husband does more than half the care work and also tosses me around in bed like I like, ahem, and ummm maybe the men feeling emasculated by care work just suck?
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I edited my 12 year old's essay. She rejected three suggestions. The power. I could never. I'm always like "accept, accept, thank you for editing me, accept, accept, I love you, accept, accept, I am a mere dust mite and you are a star, accept, accept, accept..."
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A
@BYU
professor, Hank Smith, went into a virulent Deznat's mentions and called a gay BYU student an anti-Christ. Bellum once offered $ for evidence he could use to get this student expelled from BYU. Bellum has interesting friends sending support today, like
@DanEllsworthVA
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The main argument I am seeing against gun safety laws is "Yeah, these are reasonable laws but they will only prevent some mass shootings, so what's the point?" And like, preventing "some" mass murder events is...the point.
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And then…I look up to see Viola peeking around the corner, WATCHING EVERYTHING?! THAT I THINK THEY PLANNED TOGETHER?!? She ducks out of sight.
They’re both snuggling next to me while I work. I’m a sucker. 3/3
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I would love for
@Ch_JesusChrist
to explain to every mother how they justify using their $100 billion fund to invest in meme stocks and Tesla, but do not write the $800,000 check for esearch we know will cure a fatal childhood disease.
@designmom
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Kids in my 10 yo class started an "equality advocacy" club. They told her she can't be a leader b/c she can't type or read fast enough. I told her to ask what kind of equality they hope to build with ableist hierarchical power. She's been practicing saying "hierarchical" all day.
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So we need millstones delivered to LDS Church HQ in SLC, the offices of Kirton McConkie and two bishops in Arizona. (This is a partial list.) I can cover the cost of the millstones but might need help with shipping.
@KirtonMcConkie
@Ch_JesusChrist
How the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hides child sex abuse. My latest:
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A story about being conned by my own kids: At 7:25am, my 4 yo put her head down next to her breakfast plate and sighed, “I’m so tired and some days I wish I could just stay home from school and snuggle.” 1/3
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Can we skip the baggy jeans and just go straight to Katharine Hepburn trousers?
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An email from a Ukrainian mother looking to share her story in my newsletter. She and her 5 year old boy fled Kyiv a few days ago. He wants to know when he can go home to his best friend and his lego. She doesn't know what to say. So much of motherhood is not knowing what to say.
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I have more thoughts on work and American capitalism *generally* and
@harpersbazaarus
let me write about them earlier this year.
"Capitalism needs care work, but it can’t value it."
brb adding
@harpersbazaarus
to my little "where my writing has appeared" bit of my profile while I cry *childhood dreams coming true* tears into my second cup of coffee.
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Got another email today from somebody wanting to "gently warn" me that it's possible people are screenshooting what I write on Twitter and IG and sending it to LDS leadership to get me "in trouble". AND,,,,,,
1. I don't post anything publicly that I expect to keep private. 1/5
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Law enforcement says the kids all killed in the first few minutes of the killer entering the classroom. But some kids from inside that room lived. So he killed 19 kids immediately and then spent the next 40 minutes not killing kids? Or. Did the police delay cost lives? How many?
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@annehelen
Yeah, I mean...with the way they split their finances, not only does this make sense - it seems low???
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LDS apologists were horrified by authority figures standing in a school hallway in Uvalde. But claim when it comes to church and csa standing in church halls doing nothing is good sense, actually.
What is happening?
You always, always rush to stand between harm and a child.
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If your "pro-life" legislation makes it more likely women will die and does not include universal healthcare, universal childcare or family cash credits - I have some news for you about your "pro-life" legislation.
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Operation Underground Railroad is a QANON adjacent organization rife with racism, misogyny, fascism and every other bad thing. The fact that its Chief Legal Officer is testifying tomorrow in the confirmation is truly disturbing on so many levels.
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When Riley and I were taking two babies to church every Sunday, I'd always try to sit in the back row. I didn't want them to bother anyone. But Riley would push us to the front row, "Babies belong pretty much everywhere. People can deal with it." True in church. True in planes.
Man on plane traveling with a baby is handing out bags of candy to passengers sitting nearby. “We’re hoping for the best but want to apologize in advance.” 👶🏼🍬🍭
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Someone gave us a Morton's gift card when we got married. I was only 21. Still easily awed by "fancy" restaurants. Still, I saw it for what it was: the kind of place loved by people whose taste has been developed by narrow striving. Kavanaugh and Mortons can have each other.
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A police-adjacent friend is sure a cop killed one of the teachers on accident. I thought he was totally off base until I watched today's conference. I don't know if they killed a teacher. But they're hiding something more than their slowness.
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Morton's is owned by the same company that owns the Rainforest Cafe chain - "jungle-themed" restaurants with fog machines and animatronic animals. When you understand Morton's as a themed restaurant, it makes more sense. The theme is 'Lucille Bluth Dinner Party'.
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Like, let’s say it’s illegal to report the abuse! (It’s not!) Do what? You get sued! You get fined! You go to jail! Whatever! Just report the abuse. You throw your body between a child who is being hurt and the person hurting them.
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Last night, I set up mutual aid for formula on my Instagram and so many people have offered to help. It was the bit of hope I needed. There are really good people out there. Thank God.
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Some of the responses I am seeing to this are WILD. Some people really think children shouldn't exist. And that only high paying careers are worth a damn. Sorry I had kids and don't work in tech, I guess! This one is on *me* apparently.
Childcare for my 4yo costs over $20k a year. TRANSPARENCY ALERT: I made $30k last year. Childcare is not deductible. Freelancers like me can't have FSA accounts for childcare. Even working full-time, I am completely dependent on my husband's salary to keep working. Do you see?
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I don't know who needs to hear this but sitting down to watch
#TurningRed
will make today better.
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@calvinjburke
@Ch_JesusChrist
You know what I can’t get past in that statement? They say the dad rarely went to church. Okay. It sounds like the mom was there. Was the little girl there? On Sundays? Sitting in primary? Singing about forever families? And not being helped? Moral depravity, indeed.
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My 11 yo nephew texts my sister, “I’m sick. Pick me up?” She works from home. Took a break and went to get him. He walks into the school office smiling, uncertainly. “It was an April Fool’s joke?” She laughed, signed him out, said he gets to make that joke ~once. Kids are great.
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My parents bought that little green dirndl for me in a German shop in Big Bear, California when I was 18 months old. Yesterday, my four year old wore it while skipping through Great Sand Dunes National Park while singing The Hills Are Alive. Life is a mash up.
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Honestly though I would one hundred percent watch a movie with Cumberbatch as Leda, so like...if some screenplay writer wants to get on that...please do. Can't wait to see how they handle him brooding over eggs containing Helen and Clytemnestra.
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@prisonculture
yeah, the people I know who are most into true crime are also the most pro-cop. the genre feeds a pro-cop narrative in so many ways.
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We went to a Holy Thursday service tonight at a neighborhood church. Dinner served after - hummus, pita, veg. My youngest took a bite of the pita and with her mouth still full yelled, “OKAY WE CAN COME TO THIS CHURCH AND EAT THIS BREAD EVERY CHURCH DAY THIS IS GOOD BREAD.”
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Riley's Mormon ancestors rescued my Mormon ancestors from a 19th century pioneer disaster. I wrote about how that's affected my relationship with the Mormon church, prophets and authority. (And also about the time I was called a false prophet on Twitter)
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I’ve spent a lot of time in hospital rooms. Someday, I’ll try to capture the beauty of the care that happens in them. The sterility of the words sometimes spoken in them. Instead, here’s the bed I slept in last night. It was hard. And the view. It is beautiful.
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In 2019, I wrote about some of the sexual harassment I dealt with in high school. I was a quiet kid and I didn't get invited to parties. Still, I spent 4 years sinking into a bog of teen sexual aggression and adult negligence.
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For example, I thought the LDS church's official abortion stance - LDS women can choose abortion in cases of fatal fetal abnormalities, rape, incest or threat to the life of the mother was as conservative as it got. 2/
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Taking my kid to buy her a dress for her first after-school dance. She's going to look so cute and be so disappointed about the reality of middle school dances. As is the way.
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Going back in time to tell never-been-kissed, no-one-chats-w/me-about-my-obsessions 18 yo Meg that at 36 she’ll spend a casual Monday morning in ummmm amorous congress followed by a conversation about the collapse of the Bronze Age, both with the boy she’s loved since she was 12.
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Someone telling me I don't know anything about polygamy. Hush. One of my grandmothers ran away from the Carson polygamist family, was disowned + erased, died in childbirth in CA, followed by her husband, leaving orphans who were then SENT BACK TO UTAH, the place she'd fled.
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In a relig seminar, a scholar just said "Instagrammers contribute to theology." If you've been on Instagram, you know this is true. Or you're afraid it is. Everyday women have always been theologians and philosophers. Mostly around kitchen tables. But now they have a platform.🍞
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Hey
@Ch_JesusChrist
you can love your Russian members while also being clear about - and denouncing - what is happening in ringing terms. Say that you denounce Russia's invasion of Ukraine.
Do what is right, let the consequences follow. Battle for freedom in spirit and might.
We are heartbroken and deeply concerned by the armed conflict now raging. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has members in each of the affected areas and throughout the world. Our minds and hearts have been turned toward them and all our brothers and sisters.
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I love a teenage girl with alopecia and she’s subjected to many slap-worthy quips + questions. She refrains. Am I kinda glad she now lives in a world where a huge star heard one of those quips from a peer and did not refrain? Yeah, kinda! A little slap, as a treat. 🤷🏻♀️
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I have no idea what that tension will form within the church over the next little bit. (It's also part of a much longer battle in the church.)
But I do know even if the religious-rightward leaning Mormons win out, the Religious Right won't want Mormons beyond their usefulness. x
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Crying while I watched that January 6 footage. It's so much worse than I thought, and I thought so much. My 13 year old came over to hold my hand. She never does that. I keep telling her I am sorry.
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My husband is my 4 yo favorite parent by a wide margin. Yesterday she looked at him in adoration and said, "I love mom so much. But I love you so much I want to trap you!" It's like cute aggression? For her dad. The best.
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