Ja Loka
@_fels1
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If you don't have bread, eat cake|| @iamfels1
Joined January 2017
If you're 30 and still unmarried in this generation, you have successfully evaded your first divorce, statistically.
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How did Noah inform the people who were living in Asia, Europe, America, and Africa about the floods?.
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Bro to bro: Take your financial life very seriously. Be overly frugal, mean if need be, and limit your wants. The world is very cruel to poor men.
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"If your parents count on you, don't play the same game with those who count on their parents.". -The End-.
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Habib,
After finding out the kid isn’t yours what next?.
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Reminder: These demos made you have phone numbers of your members of parliament. Those who will need to take TALA, BRANCH, TIMIZA, OKASH loans in future and need guarantors, sitawafunza Kila kitu.
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Twitter is POWERFUL. Very powerful. It should be mandatory for ALL adults above the age of 18 to be on Twitter. Anybody found using Facebook or Instagram should be frogmarched to CBD and then forgiven. #RejectFinanceBill2024.
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A bro to bro: Use your weekend to create a life that you want instead of wasting it to escape the life that you don't want.
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Nigerians are planning nationwide protests due to bad governance. Ugandans are planning to go storm and occupy parliament in 2 weeks' time. Ghanians are forcing their president to go talk to them on X Spaces. See what Kenyans have caused across Africa!.
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You have a serious problem if you don't find anything wrong with a village having 1 hospital, 2 schools, zero factory, and 60 churches.
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With President Ruto declining to sign the Finance Bill 2024, is there still need to go for protests tomorrow?.
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Safaricom home fiber not working. Safaricom mobile data not working. Buying Airtel data/airtime via mpesa not working. Kumamaye I have had to walk for 30 minutes to access the nearest shop to buy a scratch card. Thank you Airtel data! We move!.
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Wasichana wote walikuwa kwa hit list ya Ababu Namwamba huko Paris shaved for nothing. With this stress, hata bendera haitapepea.
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Weak men get abused, shy men get ignored, nice men get used, patient men get exploited, soft men get pushed around, and ruthless men get respected. The choice is yours.
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There is no point discouraging graduates. Let people go to school, study, get degrees and celebrate their wins. It's better to have papers and no job instead of having none. Destiny can only he delayed, but can never be denied.
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Protesters in Eldoret have gained access to Timba XO club, owned by Oscar Sudi, vandalized everything and drank all the alcohol. This is ugly.
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I never thought I'd live to see a day when protests in Eldoret, Nyeri, Nanyuki and Embu turn violent with looting and destruction of property while Kisumu and Kibera are peacefully protesting.
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Protesters in Nyeri forcefully gained access to Chieni Supermarket owned by Kieni MP Njoroge Wainaina and borrowed a lot of items without permission. This is ugly!.
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The Senate is about to amend the conflict of interest bill so that state officials can do business with the government and at the same time shield themselves and their families from taxpayers' accountability. The worst bit is that the bill has been proposed by Ledama Ole Kina.
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A man is conned over Ksh. 3 million by a fraudster but you're choosing to contribute money for the conman instead of the actual victim. Make it make sense.
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President Ruto said that there were no abductions. Opiyo Wandayi was seated right there, nodding in full agreement. And you people still think Oguda was abducted? 😂😂😂.
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Kuna age fulani ukishafika, ongea tu ukweli. Wewe ni mtu mkubwa, hakuna mtu atakupiga juu umesema ukweli. Twì hamwe?.
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This is always the case until a married woman has a househelp who wants to wear miniskirts, booty shorts and crop tops.
Children , especially a girl child must wear whatever she is comfortable to wear without being scared of what men will say or do.
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Deep down you know that there's a habit costing you the life you want.
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When you find a poor man eating chicken, either the chicken is sick or the man is sick. -Ndhiwa Elders-
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When you think Alliance High School punished us with Kimani Ichung'wa, you get humbled when you realize Oxford gave us David Ndii.
Cool kids are going to start a revolution🏌🏿♂️.
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JKIA is a protected area. Next to it is Embakasi barracks, GSU camp with training school, and an AP camp with RDU training school. Whatever you choose to do with this information is entirely up to you.
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N̶a̶k̶u̶j̶a̶ ̶1̶9̶t̶h̶.̶N̶a̶k̶u̶j̶a̶ ̶2̶0̶t̶h̶.̶N̶a̶k̶u̶j̶a̶ ̶2̶3̶r̶d̶.̶N̶a̶k̶u̶j̶a̶ ̶2̶4̶t̶h̶.̶N̶a̶k̶u̶j̶a̶ ̶2̶5̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶s̶u̶b̶u̶h̶i̶.̶Sioni nikikuja.
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When a Hyena wants to eat its children, it first accuses them of smelling like goats. -African Proverb.
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Last weekend, Dr Oludhe walked into club Alleyways in Kisumu, ordered for Martell Vsop worth 10k and after drinking, he was asked to pay. He told the waiters to arrange themselves. The management told the bouncers to escort him out of the premises and give him a slight warning.
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The day you burry your father is the day you painfully realize that you have lost the ONLY MAN who truly wanted to see you become better than him.
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Why would a woman let her husband leave the house looking like this? Wives in this era are a total letdown.
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Lakini spending 4.5 million on a wedding and then losing the babe to a bare minimum guy after less than 2 years is nasty business. Even if he had paid for sex weekly and ate all meals at a 4 star hotel, he wouldn't have spent all that money. Lack of frugality and common sense!.
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"Life has humbled so many parents who thought their children were better than others.".
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Every time the Deputy President goes to Mt. Kenya region, all his speeches revolve around the unity of the region, but he has NEVER mentioned anything about the finance bill or told them his stand on the controversial bill.
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Nipeeni hiyo betslip itanihamisha Roysambu mpaka Runda kesho. Msiniache nyuma wawekezaji wenzangu.
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“My past is my past” choir members always make it sound as if old men finding them usable is a flex.
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Hata ile kesi ya Mercy Keino must be prosecuted and the killer jailed.
@citizentvkenya Even after he throws in the towel we will prosecute him for causing death by negligence. There’s never been such an inept Compol.
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Sometimes, it is cheaper and more sustainable to keep on buying milk than to buy a cow.
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Of what relevance is Facebook to this generation? Kwani Facebook hakuna Gen Z, everybody is a fossil over there?.
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Twitter Martin Luther King kidnapped himself, created sympathy attention around himself, released himself on the day of the protests, gathered enough followers, and unfollowed ALL clowns he had deceived before fame. Mchezo wa taoni huu. 😂😂😂😂.
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Unaenda kutembelea beshte yako who works online and makes millions. Ukifika tu hivi, anafunga laptop anatoa mzinga na pads mcheze PS as you drink. 😂.
Share the milk with them, but never let them know where the cow is.
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Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me.".Magi onge!
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Veronica Shikuku Mung'asia Shikwekwe (Vera Sidika), daughter of Wilbeforce Matendechere Shikwekwe from Bukhembe village, will soon be a common user of Patanisho. On a bad day, the wind will blow and the anus of the chicken will be seen.
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I have tasted love and I have tasted beer. I highly recommend beer.
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Nairobi ukijaribu kuacha pombe even for a month, you lose at least 50% of your friends.
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Unless something is done fast, he may end up a hardened criminal. there is sufficient concrete evidence to support that.
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Ruto has just lost a one man debate. When bad luck chooses you as a companion, even a ripe banana can remove your teeth.
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My weakness!
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Bro was signing 39-year-old Benzemas and Firminos on £850,000 salary a week, giving them 8 yrs contracts and showing them off on social media using clients' money instead of nurturing academy players. Insane 😂😂.
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Suddenly, most people have forgotten that Prof. Wajackoyah the 5th has a woman running mate. Selective amnesia!.
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The people MAAAAAAAY! Optional ! . vs . The People SHALL. Underline SHALL. Mandatory.
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Once you buy a used car with many previous owners who misused it, you have to accept that you will not be the only driver. Mechanics will drive it most of the time and it will spend nights at the workshop. It will also drain you financially and emotionally.
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If she’s at a club drinking water, don’t trust her. She’s on antibiotics☠️. -Research.
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Rigathi didn't have to say "family is the basic unit of a society" yet he knows very well that the opponent is a veteran single mother. Condescending!.
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Where did this narrative of Fred Matiang'i for 2027 come from? Unless we suffer from chronic amnesia, that agenda should be dead on arrival.
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You don't have to feel offended when a friend doesn't come through for you financially, either through a loan or mchango. Adulting is not easy. Bills and responsibilities are weighing them down. they are not fake friends. This earth is HARD!.
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Dame yako saa hii amevaa t-shirt refu, anabishana na salaried guy kama atapika mayai kwanza ama aendee P2. Text yako ya jana hajajibu. Be strong. Chakula kitamu hakipikwi na kuni moja!.
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If I buy you a PS5, what do I get in return?.
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It is just wrong to appear for lunch in a Brazilian weave and latest iPhone, then expect me to pay your bill. you look expensive, act it.
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Vijana wamejaza magari kwa barabara lakini bado kwa KRA wanafile NIL returns. Ukiwauliza how come, they always answer "Ni God manze".
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Leo mbogi itakusifu vile ukona madem wengi, madem wenzako pia watakushow vile wakona wababaz wakona pesa na wanawaspoil, but kesho ni mama yako atakusifu hosi vile umemaliza kikombe moja ya uji bila kutapika.
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Black dad stays in the office after working hours with two step daughters.
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Sakaja sounds informed, vivacious, articulate, exuberant and eloquent. I keep wondering why Mike Sonko has papers while Sakaja doesn't.
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Every day women crave for the lifestyle of sex workers but don't want the social reputation that comes with it.
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Amason Kingi looks sober today. Very straightforward, impeccable and exuberant. You can't even tell he squandered Kilifi County funds with a slayqeen called Haentel Wanjiru😂😂.
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There is a Kenyan somewhere getting out of the block for just being tall and huge; he hasn't invented anything, no skill, no investment, and not said anything. When it is your time to rise, even a basket will hold water for you.
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When your only tool is a harmer, all problems starts to look like a nail.
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A President in Kenya earns a salary of less than Ksh. 100 million in five years. Why the hell would someone spend Ksh. 4.4 billion to get that job? Sounds ridiculous and preposterous.
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The tears of a coffin maker cannot be trusted at a funeral. -African Proverb.
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Make any mistakes but don't start 1-0. You can NEVER redeem yourself from this.
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Kama bibi yako anafanya kazi kwa bank or media house, wewe hauna bibi. Rudi ukae kwa kiwanja na sisi.
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Men are not put on this earth to simply pay bills, stress, and die. Men need love, support and respect too.
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Mhindi anashangaa why thousands of Kenyans are depositing 100 bobs a few mins to 11 pm. Kumbe ni yeye atalia kesho.
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I have watched a sad video of President Ruto telling bodaboda riders that the price of charging their electric motorbikes will be $5, which is equal to Ksh. 8 ONLY.
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It’s 2022 and Muslims should also embrace technology and buy alarm clocks or set alarms on their classy phones. There is really no sense in appointing someone to be yelling at the whole estate at 4 am in the name of waking them up to go pray.
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Only poverty can make someone argue that second-hand clothes (mtumba) are better than brand new clothes.
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Akothee is visiting one of her baby daddies in Europe, just a few weeks after her grand wedding to Omosh the 7th. Anyway, the owner of the well does not queue for water.
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So Uhuru Kenyatta was actually in Ethiopia campaigning against Baba at night? Despicable!.
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Your rich uncle has been unable to link you to a job, but you think voting for someone just because s(he) is from your tribe will change your life.
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This was a 10/10. Had me pay for Peacock. I wonder when season 2 is coming out.
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It's like Starlink has shaken Safaricom. I have been using 20 Mbps for 4100 bob since September 2022. Today, Safaricom have sent me a text, that if I add 899 bob, they will double my speeds to 40 Mbps. Elon finya kabisa😂😂.
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I have noted that during demonstrations, NO BOOKSHOP was looted throughout the country. Not even one street seller has complained that any demonstrator stole a single book.
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Once you try living outside Nairobi for sometime, you get to realize that life in Nairobi is overrated. Congested, extortion and a lot of things are just expensive for no valid reason.
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