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@ffscout | @NUFCblogcast | @uefafantasypod | @ff_fest | Christian
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I WILDCARDED Kane & Jesus out for these two.
Patreon coming soon.
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I updated Football Manager & gave Newcastle United a billion pounds. Ran the sim for 10 years. This is what happened 👇
{A thread}
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First taste of the new regime. Needed tickets reprinting as left them at home. Website says £2.50 each to reprint them. Went in, guy gave them to me and I said ‘what about the fee’?
His answer - ‘we don’t do that sort of thing here anymore’
#nufc
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‘Newcastle are top four because of Saudi money’
Well played Schar, Longstaff, Murphy, Joelinton, Wilson, Willock, Almiron, Lascelles & Manquillo who Mike Ashley bought and all played today.
👏👏👏
#nufc
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Manchester have been ‘United’ since 1902
Newcastle have been ‘United’ since 1892
Extremely frustrating that SkySports have forgotten that.
#nufc
@SkySportsPL
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If Newcastle United qualify for the UCL everyone will come out & say it’s JUST because of money.
No.
We are regularly playing Schar, Longstaff, Joelinton, Murphy, ASM, Wilson, Anderson, Almiron, Willock…
They were all here before the takeover.
Eddie Howe is a genius.
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Opposition fans not understanding why the
#nufc
fans get so loud just for a press…
I pity you.
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Alexander Isak has turned up in the Premier League at 23 years old & is bossing it.
So confident, shushing fans, energising crowd, running non stop and…SCORING GOALS.
£60m starting to look a bargain.
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Ex-Sunderland player but lifelong
#NUFC
fan Danny Graham having the time of his life at Milan away last night.
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The GOAT ERA in sport is slowly coming to an end:
Messi/Ronaldo declining
Federer/Nadal/Williams surely nearing an end
Tiger Woods finished
Tom Brady retired
Michael Phelps retired
Usain Bolt retired
We witnessed the golden age of sport...and i'm not sure we realised it...🐐
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So many Newcastle and football fans had written off Anthony Gordon as a ‘ridiculous’ signing at £45m.
He’s just won the Euro 21 player of the tournament.
Big season for him.
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Moronic
#nufc
fans on here saying we needed an ‘elite manager’ after we lost to Brighton.
SINCE THEN:
- We haven’t conceded
- We got a point at the San Siro
- Won back to back PL games
- Scored 8 goals in a game
- Knocked Man City out of the cup
Happy now you goldfish?
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S1: Bruce OUT & Lampard IN. Spent £300m improving the squad with young German talents. They all flopped & we got relegated. Frank was sacked and had his left hand chopped off as the Saudi’s deemed him a thief. By this point he weighed 32st so the weight loss was welcome
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Pep, Arteta, Klopp.
As soon as anyone stops them playing their game they moan.
If a team dares to disrupt their style they claim it’s anti-football.
It’s arrogance beyond belief.
Either team could have won tonight and that’s the truth of it
#nufc
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I find it absolutely staggering that people are seriously suggesting the starting Euro 2024 team should have Mainoo in.
He’s played 14 PL games.
Who do you take out to put him in?!
I’d rather start any of Gallagher, Barkley…even Henderson!
Man United PR in overdrive 😂
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I’ve never experienced a city, crowd and team as up for a game as this in my life. So glad I was there 😍
#nufc
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I can’t believe what I’m witnessing in Newcastle city centre.
No violence, just people hugging each other.
The ‘deluded’ and ‘entitled’
#nufc
genuinely can’t believe it.
We are in the champions league!
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The best player outside the traditional ‘top 6’ isn’t Eze or Neto and it isn’t Watkins or Bowen.
It’s Bruno Guimaraes. I’ll die on this hill.
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S6: We finally got to a league cup final but outrage occurred when PIF paid £14.3B to hold it in Saudi Arabia whilst the F1 took place around the outside of the pitch. We lost to Bolton 1-0 with claims Max Verstappen was shouting expletives onto the pitch all game from his car.
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Newcastle United have won 31 points from a possible 39 in their last 13 league games.
In that time they've only conceded 4 goals and they've gained 9 clean sheets.
Are they the most 'solid' team in the world right now?
#nufc
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The crisis club just won 7 home PL games in a row conceding only one goal.
✅ 1-0 Brentford
✅ 2-0 Burnley
✅ 4-0 Crystal Palace
✅ 1-0 Arsenal
✅ 4-1 Chelsea
✅ 1-0 Man Utd
✅ 3-0 Fulham
#nufc
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Hi guys, to hit back, let’s all sell our
#fpl
players from the top 6. You guys go first and I’ll do it straight after, I promise.
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S3: Jose finished 8th in his first season playing a pioneering back 7. He then signed 6 more 34 year old CB’s & we finished 11th. However, we only conceded 4 goals all season. Jose was sacked and got a £2B payout. He lost it all at Paddypower - the same place he lost his soul.
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Newcastle have just played two friendlies back to back.
Attendances:
Friday vs Atalanta: 40596
Saturday vs Bilbao: 46856
Blimey…
#nufc
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Allan Saint Maximin’s week
Monday: give a random fan in a crowd a Rolex
Thursday: tell a huge queue of fans (100s) to pick anything in a shop and he’d pay
Sunday: Tear apart the best team in the world.
#NUFC
@asaintmaximin
@NUFC360
@NUFC
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I sold Salah at end of GW18
People laughed.
He’s got 89 points since then.
Son has got me 155 points since then.
This would be an excellent point worthy of admiration and praise if I wasn’t around 600k.
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Things
#SAFC
fans on their fan forum said would happen today:
1. Jack Clarke was going to tear England international Trippier 'a new one'. I'm not 100% sure Clarke even touched the ball ❌
2. NUFC wouldn't 'handle the atmosphere'. They literally only ever sell out for us &…
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Currently, it is absolutely no exaggeration to say Newcastle would comfortably sell out St James Park 2x over.
A new stadium needed? I don’t care if it is, I’d rather stay at a too small St James’ Park than move to a new ‘history-less’ stadium.
Just look at West Ham.
#nufc
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S7: Moyes resigned after losing 14 games in a row citing ‘moral concerns’ about the ownership. He was never seen again. Pep off the back of a WC win with Spain came in. He spent £1.6B on full backs on his 2nd day in office. Mendy joins on a FT after being released from prison.
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Keep seeing Man Utd fans (
@markgoldbridge
) talking about inconsistency because of the ball being called out for Rashford against Brighton.
That’s because it was out.
#nufc
’s yesterday, wasn’t.
VAR got them both spot on.
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Two years ago Eddie Howe took charge of Newcastle United. I didn't want him initially, I wanted Emery.
Oh, howe I was wrong.
Results Under Howe:
5-1 vs Brentford, 4-0 vs Villa, 4-1 vs Southampton, 4-1 vs Fulham, 5-1 vs West Ham, 4-1 vs Everton, 4-1 vs Brighton, 6-1 vs Spurs,…
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Newcastle at SJP in the PL this season
✅ 5-1 Aston Villa
❌ 1-2 Liverpool
✅ 1-0 Brentford
✅ 2-0 Burnley
✅ 4-0 Crystal Palace
✅ 1-0 Arsenal
✅ 4-1 Chelsea
✅ We’ve also beaten PSG & Man City
FORTRESS
#nufc
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Best wishes to Tom Lockyer, his welfare is OBVIOUSLY more important than our FPL points.
…but I’m still interested in what happens to our FPL points, and that’s OK. Absolutely bizarre to claim otherwise.
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S2: The Saudis felt the need to make a statement so Jose Mourinho came in after he finished 5th with Roma & fell out with the players, fans, owners and nation of Italy. Jose cited his love of Bobby Robson and promised to win trophies for the ‘great fans & owners’ of Newcastle.
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Can’t wait to find out what happens next! The fans are calling for 81 year old Kevin Keegan to return. He’s currently in a home which doesn’t allow outdoor time so we’ll see.
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S10: Pep has fled. Pardew is in as the only one willing. We win the league winning every game to nil. Rumours other teams have been threatened. Mason Greenwood ‘accidentally’ scores 6 own goals to give NUFC a 11-0 win at Old Trafford. Newcastle goes wild. Fans ecstatic & proud.
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Absolutely nothing to do with
#nufc
fans how football treated Toney.
We acted rightly with Tonali showing him huge support.
If they treated Toney differently that's on them, not us.
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@OddsOnFPL
Hilarious that this is video worth sharing for Man U fans. This has been every Newcastle player in every game for the last 18 months.
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You want to see a proper atmosphere?
Go to the bottom half of the league.
Leeds, Everton, Villa etc.
Tonight, Newcastle (with nothing to play for) will be absolutely crazy.
Can’t wait.
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#nufc
fans genuinely need to remember who turned on Eddie Howe at the start of the season
Who said: “We need an elite manager”
Who said: “He’s out of his depth”
It was a small group, but let’s remember who they were so we can ignore them next time
Tag them here 👇
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S4: This was the season where Steve Bruce (after a League + Cup double winning season at Norwich) came home. He came back to jubilation from the fans who quickly remembered why they didn’t like him. 62 cabbages & 114 pineapples were thrown at Bruce on the final day of the season
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It’s criminal that Cole Palmer with 4 penalties has been called up for England whereas Newcastle’s player of the season so far hasn’t.
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Points per game, Newcastle United are now ahead of where they were at this stage last season.
Perspective.
#nufc
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S5: After a spend of £650m+ in 4 years, PIF were desperate for a trophy. In came CL winning David Moyes who immediately went to sign Pienaar & Fellani and offered them both £350k a week. They accepted and formed the spine of the new look NUFC (we now have to play in Saudi Green)
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I’ll do this every year and make no apologies. It is now 3 years since I was accidentally set on fire and lost 15% of my skin.
I was helicoptered to Whiston Burns near Liverpool.
It happened because of a BBQ so as we enter the summer and jubilee weekend, please be very careful.
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S9: WW3 breaks out. This is unfortunate as it’s started by Saudi Arabia. Under duress Pep declares allegiance to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia & its quest for world domination. Fans have no problem with this as Saudi Arabia also have a £2m stake in Chess & people are fine with that
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Mike Ashley's lawyer in court has said
#NUFC
fans dislike of him is 'overstated'
Before I start, the most damning fact.
14 yrs preAshley: 8x top8 (5x top4) Relegated never
14 yrs postAshley: 1x top8 (0x top4) Relegated TWICE
15 OTHER REASONS IT ISN'T OVERSTATED:
1. Renaming…
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S8: Newcastle break records for most passes, highest XG, most pretentious tactical words used & most full backs in a PL season. A proud day for the fans. Still no trophy. Amanda Stavely’s judgement comes under scrutiny after 8 years and 17B spent on players and no trophy.
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Will this team be affodable GW1 next season?
Haaland = 12m
Mitro = 7m
Bowen = 8m
Salah = 13m
Bruno G = 6.5m
Son = 11m
Trippier = 5m
Cancelo = 7m
Dier = 5m
TAA = 8m
Dubravka = 5m
TOTAL = £87.5m?
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Andy Cole might well be the most underrated Premier League player ever. 187 Premier League goals and only one of them was a penalty. 7 more than Aguero...
Why is he NEVER talked about? This is shown to be true as I can’t even find a GIF of him for this tweet!
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This season Newcastle have beaten multiple billion pound squads
- Man City
- PSG
- Man Utd
- Chelsea
Money & individual talent isn’t everything
Newcastle United are a team and I love them 💪
#nufc
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We lost, but Bruno Guimaraes is better than any of the Chelsea midfielders and he cost £35m. Great performance by him.
#nufc
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⭐️ Bruno Guimaraes
🗣️ Marcelo Bielsa: "The hardest player to find in football is the 8. I named it 'the Modric', who defends like a 6 and attacks like a 10.
He has the ability to defend, the skills to attack and understanding the game in both directions."
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@OddsOnFPL
@MUFC_Youth
If he’s half the player of his Dads peak, but maintains that level for his whole career then he’ll be one of the greatest players of all time.
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Tomorrow marks FOUR years since I was discharged from hospital after being set on fire at a BBQ.
15% of my skin came off.
I was airlifted to hospital and there for a month.
Please be careful if you are having a BBQ this summer!
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Newcastle United have the best goal difference in the Premier League.
Best attack and 3rd best defence.
We need to remember the names of the accounts that called for us to get ‘an elite manager’ after we lost to Brighton.
We’ve already got an elite manager.
#nufc
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