How can we tolerate social media having any standards of information? I, Canada's favorite haunted ballsack, will tell you why censoring tabloid rags is the death of democracy as soon as someone shows me how to turn on my new computer.

"Vociferous commies" and other idiocy I pulled out of my dusty bunghole. It's great to be a lich!

It behooves me to remind those in an uproar about my impending cancellation by @nationalpost that you can't cancel a lich. Bury me if you will, but I will continue to belch torrents of racism, oil propaganda, and misogyny into your groundwater.

While my status as Conrad Black's pet lich removes me from the quotidian struggles of you mewling peasants, as a MUN (but not Oxford) alumnus I feel it is very wrong for anyone on the board of regents to be caught expressing their thoughts. It sets a bad example for students.

But without handouts from the government, how will my crude-slicked masters run their profitable business? Who will pay me to abuse my platform to belch lies into the faces of the masses?

This was part of the BLACK LORD's plan when he asked me to join. The big lich once known as Rex Murphy is putting the romance back into necromancy.

It is good to be loved. https://t.co/GByEnVsYTZ

Regarding the backlash and buffoonery that beguiled my bottom after publishing my magnificent missive that racism isn't real, I would like to remind you shameless muddlers that I, as half turkey vulture, am a minority as well.

The very idea that such a thing as racism could exist is fatuous; indeed, there is no such thing as race. Every single person I have seen for the last 8,134 years has been an old white dude. How can there be racism when we're all the same? Furthermore 1/336,925,872

As the great Scottish poet Donovan said, "You've got to pick up every stitch / woah-oh must be the season of the lich"

I have deigned to join your scrabbling horde of tweeters to demonstrate my vastly superior thesaurus. Tremble.