Twenty years from now, kids listening to "Baby it's cold outside" are gonna find it really, really weird. We're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood in the context of its time. You see, it used to get cold outside.

Symptoms of SPA-

"Ah", said the dissociating human to themselves as they watched the thing. "So this is what collapsing empires look like."

https://t.co/fzE1bTOkqF

Why pay $8 for a blue checkmark on Twitter? At this rate, next year $8 could buy you the whole company.

Nocturnal- active during the night Diurnal- active during the day Crepuscular- active during dawn and dusk Cathemeral- no set schedule, active whenever it pleases I just learned that 4th word today and it's my new favorite word

Did I successfully splice multiple strands of DNA together to create hybrid genes today? Yes. Did I successfully thread my belt through every loop so my jeans don't fall down today? No. Why am I like this?

England had better push a pawn across the board to promote a new Queen, else it might be game over for them

I miss being hopeful about the future

What do atheists believe in? A universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Two of the most annoying kinds of people are those who talk way too much, and those who never say anything at all. Somehow I'm terrified of being both those people at once

I think what happened was that Twitter wished on a monkey's paw for more African-American representation on their leadership board #ElonMusk

A lot of people who say they love the free market don't seem to love paying market prices for gasoline. What's with that?

2011: "In the future, the price of cryptocurrencies will be as stable as international currencies" 2022:

Circular logic is the best kind of logic because it's circular

I love that it's becoming normal to ask and respect people's pronouns. But I was gaming and there was this toxic asshole trying to cuss someone out and he asked, "What's the appropriate slur for Brazilians?" And that was such a weird thing to hear that I just bluescreened.

Me: It's 12:07pm. Obviously I can't start working on this until it's 12:15 Me later: Crap it's 12:16pm? How did that happen? Now I can't start until 12:30

Thanks to Harvard's own admissions data, we now know that if a whyte person tells you they went to Harvard, it's fair to ask, "Oh, were you qualified or privileged?" The odds are nearly 50/50

When you look through the entire scope of human history, from astrological constellations to groundhogs, stock markets to tea leaves, checking to see if a pug has bones is just another form of divination.

What changed? Back in my day, not understanding Science was called Failing, not Freedom.

The American Healthcare System right now